Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • - Today, we're having some sexy dranks.

  • - Ooh, yeah!

  • - But what qualifies a drink as sexy?

  • - Something with a really velvety mouthfeel.

  • - Hopefully, they're gonna be like an aphrodisiac

  • and they actually start like, getting our juices going.

  • Yeah. - Ugh.

  • - We're gonna put the cock back in cocktail, baby!

  • - Oh!

  • - I'm worried about dicks in the drinks too.

  • (all laughing)

  • (bright music)

  • - This is Sex on the Beach!

  • Oh, this is the most classic of the sexy drinks.

  • - This beach really needs some cleanup.

  • - This is what they order in movies where

  • it's the lady at the bar and she goes,

  • (simultaneously) "I'll have a Sex on the Beach."

  • - Ugh. - Hmm.

  • - Ugh.

  • - It's great.

  • - This reminds me of spring break.

  • - I mean, it's kind of giving me a boner.

  • - Actually, alcohol usually gives you less of a boner.

  • - I think it's like the fruit

  • that's having sex in the drink.

  • - Mm-hmm.

  • Girl, I'll but the cran in your berry.

  • - Mmm, I also put my dick in the drink.

  • - This is very sugary,

  • which means it would give you a really bad hangover.

  • So, like real sex on the beach,

  • you're gonna enjoy it in the moment,

  • regret it the morning after. - Oh, yeah,

  • that's a UTI fo' sho'.

  • - Ooh, ooh!

  • - Oh!

  • Two out of five boners!

  • - Have you had sex on the beach?

  • - Uh, no.

  • - No? Really?

  • - Why? What do you mean really? No.

  • What is this? - Beautiful!

  • Look at that contour, girl!

  • Look at that, highlight and contour!

  • - It looks like a bucket full of come.

  • - Did you put your sex inside my drink, Eugene?

  • - Buttery Nipple.

  • - This is called the Buttery Nipple?

  • - This tastes just like a nipple!

  • - No, I know, I know, I know!

  • - I know, I've tasted nipples!

  • - It's called buttery because it's butterscotch liqueur.

  • - Ooh! - Mmm.

  • - Oh, actually...

  • - Oh, that tastes just like grandma.

  • Well... - Gross.

  • - Like grandma's bowl.

  • - Does this make you want to have sex?

  • I'll answer it for you: yes, it does.

  • - This is the best tasting nipple I've ever had.

  • - I just keep thinking about

  • how your grandma tastes and...

  • - That's fine, my grandma was hot, yo.

  • - Excuse me!

  • - Suck, Bang, and Blow.

  • - What a dumb name! These names are dumb.

  • - Great name.

  • - Sounds like a good Tuesday night.

  • - Pretty cool, pretty cool, VIP.

  • - So you would

  • suck, blow, and then bang.

  • But you end with banging.

  • - Suck, Bang, Blow!

  • - Suck, Bang, Blow!

  • You gotta suck it, the ice.

  • - Oh, that's awful.

  • - What's this flavor?

  • - I don't know.

  • Oh!

  • - Let me try it.

  • - That, my friends, is a lot of different liquor.

  • This drink will get you fucked up.

  • Yeah.

  • - It's like when you have sex a different way

  • for the first time and you're like,

  • I don't know what this is, this is weird.

  • And then you're like, oh, maybe, that's not bad.

  • - Of the sexy drinks, this is the drink that's like,

  • I'm ready to fuck tonight and I don't care who.

  • - How many butters do you give it, bro?

  • - Way up!

  • Way up!

  • - I would have ordered this

  • if I didn't love myself.

  • - Way up,

  • I'm gonna do about a boner and a half right here!

  • - Not to shade ya'll off Floridians,

  • but ya'll will definitely like this drink.

  • - Oh, Florida definitely drinks this,

  • where's Kelsey Darragh? She probably fucks with this.

  • - This drink is Kelsey Darragh.

  • - Kelsey, what do you think of that joke?

  • - Okay, it's true,

  • but fuck you guys, it's pronounced dare-uh!

  • - Is it dare-uh?

  • - Whatever, it's Darragh, well,

  • that way you learn something.

  • - So, what is this?

  • - Oh, the Blowjob Shot.

  • - So, what does that mean, it's a blowjob?

  • - Uh, is there a reason our dicks are pointed at each other?

  • - You have to take this without your hands.

  • - What if we each like,

  • I'll go to the right, you go to the left?

  • - What a goofy shaped wiener.

  • - Gene, I notice that yours is girthier than mine.

  • (simultaneously) My favorite is a shoot!

  • - Oh, man.

  • - That means I suck your dick.

  • (both laughing)

  • - First time for everything.

  • - Do it. - Yeah.

  • Oh.

  • - Don't tense up.

  • - Oh.

  • Oh, you got the full one in your mouth.

  • - I can't swallow it, my teeth around a big knob,

  • you know what I'm saying?

  • - Do I have something on my face?

  • - A classic Got Milk moment.

  • - Thank you. - Dude,

  • I barely fit my mouth around it.

  • - Ooh, yeah, I'm blowing your job.

  • - Just take the drink, Zach. Don't think about it too much.

  • - This is too wide for my mouth.

  • - Like, how do you swallow?

  • - Put your mouth on there.

  • - (muffled) I can't.

  • - Yeah, that's why I was suffering,

  • figuring out how you swallow it.

  • - Don't, don't throw it up, here!

  • - How do you swallow when your mouth's open?

  • - I don't know.

  • - Is it in?

  • Back, back, back.

  • This is the worst blowjob I've ever gotten.

  • - How was it for you?

  • - It was good. - Pretty good.

  • - How is it for you?

  • - It was pretty good, you know,

  • it was sweeter than I thought.

  • (inaudible)

  • (both laughing)

  • My white sneakers are ruined.

  • - How do I exit this segment now?

  • - Time to end with the sexiest of all drinks...

  • - The Body Shot.

  • - But where's Zach?

  • Oh, there he is! - Oh!

  • Hello, body boy.

  • Wait, wait, wait, what are you doing? What are you doing?

  • - I'm placing the shot. - No, no, no,

  • it goes in his belly button.

  • - In his belly button? - Yeah.

  • When I've done it in the past,

  • that's why it's sexy!

  • Uh, well, I'll go where there seems to be

  • the least amount of hair,

  • which is your delightful neck.

  • - I've always been a thigh guy.

  • (all laughing)

  • - That's too much salt, Eugene!

  • No, he needs more. He needs more.

  • - Oh!

  • (Zach laughing)

  • - It doesn't get deeper.

  • - I just wanted a shot level.

  • - I'm gonna have wet underwear all day.

  • - You ready?

  • - Ned, did you floss this morning?