Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • Hey, it's Brad Browning again. And in this video, I'm going to talk about the No Contact

  • rule that you probably read all about as you were searching the internet for ways to get

  • back together with your ex. If you haven't heard about the No Contact strategy, it's

  • pretty simple. Basically what this strategy involves is ignoring your ex for a set period

  • of time after the breakup in order to win them back. It's that simple. Most people generally

  • advocate around a month of No Contact after the breakup if you want your ex back. Now,

  • is it a good idea? Is this a good strategy? Does it work? Generally speaking, this is

  • a good strategy that I do advocate and it does often work. And the reasons why it works

  • is quite scientific, there's a lot of research and real reasons why it works. So in this

  • video I'm going to talk about No Contact, why it's appropriate for all situations and

  • why it works. So why does this No Contact thing work? Why should you ignore your ex

  • completely for say 30 days after the breakup? Well the first reason, well the first couple

  • reasons are actually very straightforward. Number one, it gives you time to heal privately.

  • So you don't have all your emotions, all your heartache, and all the pain you feel after

  • a breakup, it's not all open in the public and for your ex to see. Secondly, by ignoring

  • your ex, you're also basically preventing yourself from doing something stupid. From

  • an irrational idea that it would be a good idea to send your ex a text message at 2 AM

  • when you're drunk to tell them that you love them, and that you miss them and all that.

  • By ignoring them completely, you're not going to make any mistakes. You can't when you're

  • not talking to your ex. Now the third reason is actually a lot more subtle, but it's probably

  • the most important part of the whole No Contact strategy and that it forces your ex to miss

  • you. Basically, when you ignore your ex after a breakup, you're essentially forcefully removing

  • yourself from your ex's life. So basically your ex has been accustomed to you. They've

  • become very comfortable having you around, and if you suddenly disappear from their life,

  • they're going to be in shock, essentially. And it's going to be a lot more difficult

  • for them to recover and it's going to be a lot more painful for your ex and they're going

  • to be a lot more likely to miss you. So that's one of the main reason No Contact works is

  • that it forces your ex to start missing you. And you need them to miss you if you want

  • them back, because you need them to have that decision to get back together with you, organically

  • to have them decide to get back together, often times because they miss you so much

  • that they just want to make the pain of the breakup go away by getting back together.

  • And of course that'll work to your advantage. Now the fourth reason why the No Contact strategy

  • often works extremely well, is because in addition to making your ex miss you, it also

  • allows them to forget the negative memories and sort of generally forget why they broke

  • up with you in the first place. A lot of the times, humans tend to let go of negative memories

  • and hold on to the happier ones. And it's extremely likely that your ex will do this.

  • They'll let go of some of the negative memories, they'll start to forget some of the reasons

  • why they wanted to break up with you and why they weren't happy, and that happens a lot

  • more effectively and if you're not talking to them and reminding them of all those same

  • reasons they wanted to breakup. So, by ignoring them, you're basically giving them them time

  • forget all of those negative memories fade to the background. And finally, the last reason

  • why No Contact is often an excellent strategy is that it sends a very clear signal to your

  • ex that you're going to move on. You're not going to wait around for them while they screw

  • around, trying to decide whether the single life is right or whether they'll be able to

  • find someone else. You're just not going to be around forever. You're going to move on

  • to bigger and better things if your ex doesn't reconsider the decision to break up. And that

  • essentially ties into the whole concept of shifting the balance of power from your ex

  • (who broke up with you or presumably decided to break up with you or doesn't want to get

  • back together) to you. Because all of a sudden, now you're saying, you know what? I can live

  • my life on my own. I'm going to be just fine. So if you know, you don't want me in your

  • life, I'm out. So that's essentially shifting the balance of power into your favour and

  • that's going to work to your advantage of winning your ex back. Now does this No Contact

  • strategy work for every situation? What if it's been 3 months since your broke up? What

  • if you live together? There are a lot of "What if's" there are a lot of questionable scenarios.

  • Most of the time I still advocate for No Contact even if it's some sort of modified form. So

  • generally if you're not sure, do apply the No Contact. But if you do have a unique situation

  • of some kind, if you need some advice, head over to my website. It's www.BreakupBrad.com

  • and you watch my FREE video on there. I talk about this quite in-depth. And you can also

  • find my contact details to find my contact details to get in touch and find and basically

  • figure whether No Contact is the right strategy for you and your situation. And finally, thank

  • you so much for watching this video. Please like it if you found the video helpful and

  • also I do offer free advice to my YouTube channel subscribers so you've subscribed to

  • me here on YouTube, feel free to shoot me an email and I will be happy to help you with

  • your problems and give you some advice. So thanks again for watching and see you soon.

  • Bye bye! If you found the information in that video useful, here's two related videos you

  • may also want to watch. Just click on the video thumbnail to watch now.

Hey, it's Brad Browning again. And in this video, I'm going to talk about the No Contact

Subtitles and vocabulary

Click the word to look it up Click the word to find further inforamtion about it