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  • >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!

  • LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS A

  • GOLDEN GLOBE-, EMMY-, AND TONY AWARD-WINNING ACTOR, BUT HIS

  • MOST IMPRESSIVE HARDWARE IS HIS ADAMANTIUM CLAWS.

  • HE'S BACK AS WOLVERINE IN "LOGAN."

  • >> WHO'S THIS?

  • THE GUY TELLING YOU TO GET BACK IN YOUR NICE TRUCK AND GO

  • PLAY OAK OAKY DICKHEAD SOMEWHERE ELSE.

  • >> LOOKS LIKE HE HAS MUSCLE.

  • THAT WAY.

  • FRIEND OF MINE.

  • WITH A BIG MOUTH.

  • I HEAR THAT A LOT.

  • YOU PROBABLY HEAR THIS, TOO ( GUN RACKED )

  • >> MORE THAN I WOULD LIKE.

  • YOU KNOW THE DRILL.

  • I'M GOING TO COUNT TO THREE AND YOU WILL START WALKING AWAY.

  • >> I HAVE RIGHTS.

  • ONE.

  • I HAVE A LAWYER, NOW.

  • TWO, THREE.

  • AH, AH -- YOU ALL RIGHT, BOSS?

  • KNOW THE DRILL.

  • GET THEEL HE'LL OUT OF HERE.

  • >> STEPHEN: PLEASE WELCOME, HUGH JACKMAN!

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪

  • >> Stephen: THANK YOU, MAN!

  • >> Stephen: YOU JUST DID THE REAL MOVIE STAR ENTRANCE.

  • >> WHAT'S THAT?

  • >> Stephen: MOVIE STARS HAVE A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT ENTRANCE THAN

  • EVERYBODY ELSE.

  • >> REALLY?

  • >> Stephen: THEY TAKE THE MOMENT, STAND OVER THERE,

  • ADDRESS THE AUDIENCE FIRST.

  • UMA THURMAN DID THE SAME THING.

  • YOU'RE A TRUE MOVIE STAR.

  • >> I HAVE TO THANK YOU PUBLICLY.

  • WE HOSTED AN EVENT IN CENTRAL PARK.

  • >> Stephen: I HAVE A PICTURE.

  • YES.

  • >> Stephen: THIS IS GLOBAL CITIZEN.

  • >> LIGHT AS A FEATHER, BY THE WAY, LIGHT AS A FEATHER.

  • >> Stephen: WE CO-HOSTED, YOU HAD A LONG TRENCH COAT ON YOUR

  • SHOULDER.

  • >> I CAME OUT FROM WAY TO STAGE LEFT ONLY TO DISCOVER MY

  • EYESIGHT HAS GOTTEN BAD.

  • I SAID, COULD YOU READ IT?

  • I STOOD THERE THE ENTIRE TIME WHILE YOU COVERED FOR ME.

  • I NOW HAVE CONTACT LENSES.

  • SO THANK YOU FOR THAT.

  • >> Stephen: I GOT YOUR BACK, YOU CARRIED ME ON YOUR BACK.

  • >> YEAH.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: THE THING I FIND

  • HUMBLING IS WE REHEARSED THIS ONCE IN THE STUDIO, AND I GOT ON

  • HIS SHOULDERS, AND I WAS AFRAID, I DON'T KNOW WHY, I WAS GOING TO

  • HURT YOUR SHOULDERS BY SITTING ON THEM.

  • BUT WHEN I GOT OFF, I LIMPED AWAY FROM BEING ON YOUR

  • SHOULDERS.

  • OUR WIVES WERE THERE.

  • MY WIFE SAID, ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU HURT YOUR LEG SITTING ON HIS

  • SHOULDERS?

  • ( LAUGHTER ) IT WAS LIKELY HUMBLING.

  • ( APPLAUSE ) >> THANK YOU.

  • >> Stephen: ADAMANTIUM CLAUSE?

  • THIS IS A BASAL CELL CARCINOMA, AT LEAST FORM OF SKIN

  • CANCER.

  • WEAR SUNSCREEN.

  • GET CHECKUPS.

  • BUT I'M ALL FINE.

  • WE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE OZONE LAYER.

  • I THINK THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT SUNSCREEN.

  • I DON'T EVER REMEMBER MY PARENTS PUTTING IT ON ME.

  • MAYBE THEY DID.

  • >> Stephen: WE RUBBED OIL ON OURSELVES.

  • >> A LOOF OUTTHAT -- A LOT OF THAT.

  • GET BURNED AND PEELED AND THAT WAS YOUR LOOK.

  • >> Stephen: BURN YOU, PEEL YOU, THEY WOULD MAKE YOU INTO A

  • BOOK.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) I HEARD YOU WERE 13 WHEN YOU

  • FIRST DECIDED YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE A LIFE IN THE THEATER.

  • >> OH, WOW.

  • >> Stephen: OKAY, IS THAT A TRUE STORY?

  • >> KIND OF.

  • MY FATHER WAS CONVERTED BY BILLY GRAHAM AT A REVIVAL BEFORE I WAS

  • BORN.

  • I WAS BROUGHT UP IN THE CHURCH AND WE WENT TO A REVIVAL

  • MEETING.

  • I WAS ABOUT 13 AND I REMEMBER LOOKING UP AT THIS MINISTER.

  • HE WAS UP ON STAGE HAVING A VERY, VERY STRONG SENSE I WOULD

  • ONE DAY BEING ON A STAGE IN FRONT OF A LOT OF PEOPLE.

  • >> Stephen: DID YOU THINK MAYBE YOU WERE GOING TO BE A

  • PREACHER?

  • >> AT THE TIME I THOUGHT MAYBE A PREACHER OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

  • JUST A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT RELIGION, LIKE COMIC BOOKS.

  • >> Stephen: WHEN DID YOU FIND OUT THERE WAS ANOTHER OPTION?

  • A LOT OF PEOPLE -- PEOPLE DON'T KNOW YOU, NECESSARILY, AS A

  • BRILLIANT STAGE ACTOR BECAUSE THEY KNOW UH YOU FROM ALL THE

  • MOVIES.

  • >> I'VE DONE IT SINCE FIVE.

  • I DID CAMELOT WHEN I WAS FIVE.

  • >> Stephen: LANCELOT?

  • THE KING.

  • >> Stephen: OH, SORRY.

  • HAD THE CROWN, DIDN'T QUITE FIT.

  • I REMEMBER HALFWAY THROUGH THE SONG THE CROWN FELL LITERALLY

  • OVER MY FACE.

  • FOR HALF A SECOND, I WAS MORTIFIED.

  • JUST EMBARRASSINGLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE.

  • EVERYONE LAUGHED AND I THOUGHT, IT'S ALL GOOD, DOESN'T MATTER.

  • THAT'S SORT OF WHEN I GOT HOOKED, WHEN I WAS FIVE.

  • >> Stephen: ONE OF THE REASONS I GOT HOOKED ON COMEDY IS

  • BECAUSE I HAD DONE DRAMA FOR YEARS AND I FOUND OUT IF YOU'RE

  • DOING COMEDY, AND YOU (BLEEP) EVERYTHING UP, YOU STILL GET A

  • LAUGH.

  • I THOUGHT, THIS IS FOR ME.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> WHEN I MET YOU AND YOUR

  • FAMILY, YOUR SON FOUND YOU FUNNY.

  • I REMEMBER THAT.

  • I REMEMBER HIM LAUGHING, YOU TELLING JOKES AND YOUR WIFE AND

  • SON WERE LAUGHING.

  • I THOUGHT THAT WAS AMAZING, LIKE NORMALLY.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT IS, RIGHT?

  • IT IS AMAZING.

  • >> WE HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH THE SHOW.

  • I LAUGH AT THEM, TOO.

  • YEAH.

  • >> Stephen: I REMEMBER MY SON HAVING A FRIEND COME OVER, HE

  • WAS ABOUT 13, AND THE GUY WAS PEPPERING HIM WITH WOLVERINE

  • QUESTIONS.

  • MY SON SAID NOTHING AND I'M IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR AND I SAID,

  • LISTEN, MY DAD IS NOTHING LIKE WOLVERINE, HE IS NOT TOUGH OR

  • COOL.

  • DON'T ASK ME ANYTHING MORE ABOUT IT.

  • >> Stephen: MY KIDS ARE COOL.

  • I STEAL JOKES FROM THEM ALL THE TIME.

  • I STOLE THIS JOKE FROM MY SON, MITCH McCONNELL HAD BEEN MADE

  • SENATE MAJORITY LEADER.

  • MY WIFE AND I WERE TALKING IN THE FRONT SEAT AND MY SON IN THE

  • BACK SEAT GOES, MITCH McCONNELL!

  • SHA THE SAME MITCH McCONNELL I'VE NEVER HEARD OF?

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> VERY GOOD!

  • >> Stephen: I WAS, LIKE, STOLEN!

  • STOLEN!

  • WE'LL TAKE A BREAK AND BE BACK WITH MORE HUGH JACKMAN.

  • STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY!

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!

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