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  • EVERY ONCE IN A

  • WHILE A BLOG POST OR BOOK GETS WRITTEN INDICATING THAT THERE

  • ARE PARENTS OUT THERE WHO FEEL LIKE THEY MAKE THE WORST

  • DECISION OF

  • THEIR LIVES BY DECIDING TO HAVE

  • CHILDREN.

  • RECENTLY THERE WAS THIS INSANELY GOOD PIECE IN THE

  • GUARDIAN WHERE A REPORTER SPOKE TO A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE

  • WHO OPENLY AND TRANSPARENTLY TALK ABOUT HOW THEY REGRET

  • HAVING KIDS.

  • WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

  • SOME PEOPLE PUSH

  • BACK ON THIS NOTION AND CRITICIZE AND RIDICULE THEM,

  • OTHERS FEEL A SENSE OF RELIEF BECAUSE THEY ARE GOING THROUGH

  • THE SAME THING AND THEY THOUGHT

  • THEY WERE ALONE.

  • LET ME GIVE YOU THE DETAILS ON SOME OF THESE

  • INDIVIDUALS.

  • THERE WAS THIS ONE WOMAN, HER NAME IS VICTORIA

  • ELDER.

  • SHE RESPONDED TO A QUESTION ON THIS WEBSITE CALLED

  • QUORA.

  • QUORA IS WHERE PEOPLE ASK A QUESTION AND PEOPLE ONLINE

  • TO ANSWER IT.

  • SHE RESPONDED WITH THE POP FOLLOWING ANSWER.

  • SHE

  • DIDN'T HIDE HER NAME IN THE POST AND SHE WAS JUST OPENLY TALKING

  • ABOUT WHAT SHE WENT THROUGH.

  • OF

  • COURSE SHE GOT HATE.

  • SO PEOPLE OF COURSE CRITICIZED HER.

  • >> AT SOME POINT THAT KID IS GOING TO GROW UP AND READ THAT.

  • THAT IS A LITTLE PROBLEMATIC.

  • I LIKE THE GUTS OF BEING ABLE TO

  • SAY THINGS PEOPLE ARE GOING TO

  • CRITICIZE.

  • IT IS SUCH A FORBIDDEN TOPIC.

  • YOU ARE A

  • MONSTER IF YOU SAY IT.

  • A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE THINKING IT AND WE

  • SHOULD HAVE AN OPEN DISCUSSION

  • ABOUT IT SO PEOPLE MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS.

  • IT DOESN'T MEAN

  • DON'T HAVE KIDS, IT MEANS SOME

  • PEOPLE LOVE KIDS.

  • >> I

  • THINK WOMEN LIKE VICTORIA ARE HEROES FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME.

  • THE REASON I SAY THAT IS BECAUSE

  • HAVING CHILDREN IS NOT A DECISION I TAKE LIKE LATELY.

  • I

  • LIKE TO WEIGH THE PROS AND CONS.

  • YOU CAN MAKE DECISIONS IN YOUR

  • LIFE AND THEN CORRECT THE COURSE IF YOU FEEL YOU'RE GOING IN THE

  • WRONG DIRECTION.

  • BUT ONCE YOU

  • HAVE A KID, YOU HAVE A KID.

  • YOU CAN'T CHANGE THAT.

  • THAT IS A

  • RESPONSIBILITY AND COMMITMENT

  • YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

  • I APPRECIATE

  • PEOPLE WHO BREAK THE MOLD AND

  • SHARE THE TRUTH ABOUT THIS ROMANTICIZED IMAGE OF HAVING

  • KIDS.

  • HER DAUGHTER IS 18 YEARS OLD NOW.

  • >>SO SHE JUST READ IT NOW.

  • >>I THINK HER DAUGHTER RESPONDS WITH WHAT HER MOM MEANS.

  • HER MOM

  • LOVES HER A LOT.

  • IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH HOW MUCH A

  • MOTHER'S LIFE HAS CHANGED BECAUSE YOU GIVE UP AND

  • SACRIFICE A LOT JUST SO YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF THIS KID.

  • LET ME

  • GIVE YOU SOME MORE.

  • >> THIS GROUP IS NOT KEEPING IT 100, THEY ARE KEEPING IT 1000.

  • >>THEY ARE.

  • >>SOME PEOPLE FEEL LIKE MONSTERS IF THEY CAN'T IMMEDIATELY FALL

  • MADLY IN LOVE WITH THEIR KIDS THE MINUTE THEY ARE BORN.

  • THE

  • MOVIES AND ALL OF SOCIETY TELL YOU THAT THE MINUTE THEY COME

  • OUT YOU HAVE NEVER FELT A LOVE LIKE THIS.

  • FOR SOME OF US THAT

  • DOES HAPPEN, BUT FOR PEOPLE WHO IT DOESN'T HAPPEN WHICH IS A

  • LOT, THEY THINK THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM.

  • IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A MONSTER, THAT IS JUST WHO YOU ARE AND

  • THAT IS OKAY.

  • >> THERE ARE SO MANY FACTORS AT PLAY.

  • OBVIOUSLY POSTPARTUM

  • DEPRESSION HAS A LOT TO DO WITH

  • WHETHER OR NOT A MOTHER CAN BOND WITH THE CHILD.

  • THERE IS ALSO

  • THE ISSUE OF NOT REALIZING AHEAD OF TIME THAT YOU ARE GOING TO

  • SACRIFICE A LOT WHETHER IT IS YOUR CAREER, YOUR FREE TIME,

  • YOUR BODY.

  • AGAIN YOU GO ON INSTAGRAM, THESE NEW MOMS ON

  • INSTAGRAM, IT IS LIKE OH MY GOD I JUST HAD A KID LIKE TWO HOURS

  • AGO, LOOK AT MY ABS.

  • >>SO, WHO IS THAT?

  • >>PEOPLE LOOK AT THAT AND THEY THINK YEAH, I'M GOING TO POP

  • THIS BABY OUT AND IT WILL BE FINE.

  • BUT FOR THE VAST MAJORITY

  • OF WOMEN THEY DON'T HAVE ABS

  • BEFORE OR AFTER THE BABY.

  • DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING?

  • I WANT TO

  • GIVE YOU MORE.

  • HERE IS A FATHER'S POST I THINK

  • IS

  • FASCINATING.

  • >> YOU DO HAVE TO KEEP IT REAL, EVEN IF YOU LOVE YOUR KIDS AND

  • DON'T REGRET IT IT IS STILL A

  • GIANT RESPONSIBILITY.

  • YOUR LIFE IS DEFINITELY DIFFERENT THAN IT

  • USED TO BE.

  • YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF A WHOLE OTHER HUMAN

  • BEING.

  • THEY CAN'T TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES FOR A LONG TIME.

  • YOU

  • HAVE TO TEND TO EVERY POOP,

  • EVERY CRY.

  • YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING.

  • SOME PEOPLE DO

  • IT MORE EQUITABLY, BUT LET'S KEEP IT REAL.

  • THE MOTHERS ARE BURDENED WITH IT SO MUCH MORE.

  • >>YES, AND THAT WAS COVERED HERE.

  • THERE WAS A WOMAN WHO

  • DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO HAVE KIDS,

  • SHE WAS 38.

  • SHE HAS A HUSBAND, AND HER HUSBAND WANTED ONE.

  • SO

  • SHE MADE IT WORK AND HAD A BABY.

  • THEY HAD AGREED AHEAD OF TIME

  • THAT THEY WOULD SPLIT THE

  • PARENTING 50-50.

  • AND SHE WAS LIKE IT WAS SO NAœVE.

  • HER

  • FRIENDS HAD WARNED HER AHEAD OF TIME.

  • IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW

  • PROGRESSIVE YOUR HOUSEHOLD IS,

  • NO MATTER WHAT THINGS TEND TO FALL BACK INTO TRADITIONAL

  • GENDER ROLES INSIDE THE

  • HOUSEHOLD.

  • ALSO I WANT TO READ A QUOTE THAT SHE ALSO GAVE ABOUT

  • WHY SHE HATES PARENTING SO MUCH.

  • >> THESE PEOPLE ARE KEEPING IT TOO REAL.

  • >> ONE FINAL QUOTE.

  • OH MY GOD.

  • THAT IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT

  • PERSPECTIVE TO SHARE.

  • PEOPLE LIKE ME NEED TO KNOW.

  • THIS IS

  • THE OTHER SIDE.

  • ONE SIDE IS THE SEXY INSTAGRAM MOM WITH THE

  • SIXPACK.

  • >>THE OTHER SIDE IS THAT CONNECTION TO ANOTHER HUMAN

  • BEING AND A FEELING THAT IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO EXPERIENCE

  • IT IS TRULY UNLIKE ANY OTHER

  • FEELING YOU HAVE EVER FELT.

  • THIS LOVE IN THIS CONNECTION.

  • I FEEL

  • TERRIBLE SAYING IT BECAUSE IT IS

  • SO CHEESY.

  • BUT IT IS TRUE.

  • A FEELING I NEVER FELT BEFORE.

  • THE

  • BEST ARGUMENT MY WIFE EVER MADE

  • WAS HEY, YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE ALL OF LIFE AND YOU CARE DEEPLY

  • ABOUT IT AND THAT IS PART OF THE REASON WHY YOU ARE CONCERNED

  • ABOUT HAVING KIDS BECAUSE YOU

  • WON'T GET TO DO AS MUCH.

  • WE KNEW THAT GOING IN.

  • SHE SAID PART OF

  • EXPERIENCING LIFE IS EXPERIENCING HAVING A KID.

  • IF

  • YOU HAVE NEVER LIVED THAT, HAVE

  • YOU REALLY LIVED LIFE?

  • IT WAS SUCH A GREAT POINT AND SHE WAS

  • RIGHT.

  • AND I HAVE LOVED IT.