Subtitles section Play video
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-Brains. Brains-- -Shut up!
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We're reporting live on how an Emo-haired loser and bowl-haired reject...
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..managed to get so many views on their stupid videos,
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-right here in this-- -(zombie yells)
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(reporter screams)
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(more shrieking)
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Man, I wanted to make fun of of those stupid-haired losers.
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(bell rings)
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No, we don't want any more Boy Scout crackers, okay?
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(zombies growl)
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(both scream)
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Great Zeus' butt hole! What do we do, man?!
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Uh...oh!
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Alrighty, um. Chapter one on How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse.
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(groans) TLDR, dude. I'm bored!
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Where's the pictures? Get to the pictures.
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Uh...there are none!
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What? A book without pictures?!
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What kind of frickin' book is that?!
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(zombie growls)
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Uh, yeah! Give us a second, god!
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Some people have no frickin' patience.
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Okay, so we just need to think.
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What did they do in The Walking Dead?
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Uh...let's see. They sat around a barn for an entire season,
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searching for a completely random, useless character?
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Oh my god. That was so annoying, right?!
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I mean, if I hear, "Sophia! Sophia!" one more time,
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I'm going to use this on myself.
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What the hell, man?! You've had this gun the whole time?
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Oh, yeah. I took this from Stevie's zombie survival kit.
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He's probably totally dead now.
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It's okay. It's okay.
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I got gun in my trusty zombie survival kit!
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Oh crap!
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(Stevie screams)
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Give me that!
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(zombies growl)
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Hey, zombies! Don't lose your "heads".
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(repetitive gun shots)
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-(zombies growl angrily) -(Anthony screams)
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Dude, you didn't hit a single one!
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It's a lot harder than they make it look in The Walking Dead.
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Give me that! I think it's time we got...
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"ahead" of this problem.
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(repetitive gun shots)
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Dude, you didn't hit any of them either.
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No, no, no, look!
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I got that guy's pointer finger!
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Yeah, but you didn't kill any of them.
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Okay, I think you're missing "the point".
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(both chuckle) -No, no, no.
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(repetitive pounding on door)
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Oh! Dude, we could just use the car! Duh!
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(zombies yell)
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Dude, were they doing our laundry in there?!
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Hey! You better not be using my fabric softeners!
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I only have, like, five left!
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You stupid zombies!
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Do you have any ideas of your own?!
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Okay, man. This is officially the stupidest idea you've ever had.
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Oh, really? Stupidest idea?
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More like the best frickin' idea that's ever been invented by humankind!
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-Oh! Yeah! -(together) Yeah!
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(together) Suck it!
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(laughter)
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-Wait...dude. One's getting through. -They're...learning!
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Quick, give me another treadmill!
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Uh, okay. Yeah, sure.
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Let me just go down to the basement and get one of my emergency treadmills!
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-You have that?! -F*ck, no!
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We don't even have a basement, idiot!
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(both scream)
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What are we going to do, man?!
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I've done everything I can think of!
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Get a hold of yourself!
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Maybe we're just misunderstanding the zombies.
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I mean, yeah, their main goal is to eat our brains,
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but at least they have dreams they're working to achieve.
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Unlike me and my dream of touching Jessica Alba's left boob.
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Why are you acting so weird?
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What do you mean?
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I'm being a completely normal human being.
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(gasp) Human being!
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That word kind of sounds like bean.
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Beans are legumes.
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Legumes has the word "leg" in it.
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Ian's mom has really nice legs.
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And Ian's mom is so old she's practically dead.
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Which can only mean one thing:
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Oh my Bieber!
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You're becoming a zombie!
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Aw, and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!
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What kids? There's no kids here.
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I dunno. I just thought that was what they always said.
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Wait...when did you become infected?
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Well...do you remember that one time way, way, way back when, five minutes ago?
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(Anthony sobs)
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What?! I got hungry!
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Sorry, man, but looks like I'm going to have to "Old Yeller" your ass.
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Wait. You've had that the whole time?!
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Yeah, why? I stole it from Stevie's back-up survival zombie kit.
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(Stevie yells) Good thing I've got my back-up zombie survival kit!
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Seriously?! (screams)
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Sorry, man.
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Wait, wait!
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Think about this.
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We could be best friends...forever.
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What the hell are you talking about--oh!
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(together) Yeah!
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F*ck off, Stevie! You're ruining our epic high-5.
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Yeah!
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This is a zombie speaking.
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To see behind-the-scenes footage and bloopers...
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They're probably totally eating his ass now.
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Eating his ass. No. (everyone laughs)
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Click the video right here.
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One, two, three. (clap)
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Five, six, seven. (clap)
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-Brains. -Brains.
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-I want brains! -I want Jessica Alba's left boob!
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I mean, what?