Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • [whimsical music]

  • ♪ ♪

  • [cell phone buzzes]

  • ♪ ♪

  • - Miles, it's Pepper.

  • Can--can we talk?

  • Niko wants to replace you, but I told him to wait.

  • I can't quit the play, but...

  • I'm afraid to go on stage.

  • The phantom's out there, waiting for me.

  • I don't know what to do.

  • Call me. Please.

  • ♪ ♪

  • - Mac!

  • Talk to me, man.

  • [knocking] - Hello?

  • - Go away!

  • We're closed.

  • Permanently!

  • - Mac says to stop being a baby

  • and open the f-word door--

  • his language, not mine.

  • - Mac.

  • - Your brother's very concerned about you.

  • - Is he here? Is he with you?

  • Mac, what happened?

  • - How should I know? Talk to Sarah.

  • - Tell me...

  • when did your gifts start failing you?

  • - Right around the time we solved the Scrooge case.

  • - Did anything significant happen during that case?

  • - Same old, same old. Except--

  • - Well, except for the one thing.

  • - What happened?

  • both: I died.

  • - Oh.

  • Sometimes when we suffer a trauma,

  • a sensitive person's energies can get clogged up.

  • - Well, I'm not traumatized.

  • I mean, Mac's fine, we're still together, taking cases.

  • He's right here. Right, man?

  • - He's not fine, neither of you are!

  • The fact is, Mac is dead.

  • And instead of grieving what is still a very real loss,

  • you're both in denial.

  • - Nuh-uh. - Am not.

  • - Myles...

  • you blame yourself for Mac's death.

  • Your guilt and your shame are closing off your abilities,

  • and Mac, you feel cut off from the world, aimless,

  • questioning why you're still here.

  • - So we're messed up.

  • How do we fix it? What do we do?

  • - For you, I'm afraid it might already be too late.

  • Once that window's closed--

  • - No, I've--I've got to see my brother again.

  • - Perhaps what you both need is to move on.

  • - That's not happening.

  • Tell him. - He can hear you.

  • - I'm not abandoning you, man.

  • We're gonna stop Charity

  • and we're gonna get through this.

  • - Maybe you should tell him.

  • - Mm.

  • Myles.

  • Charity has cursed this town for a century.

  • If her presence is what drew you both to Saturn,

  • stopping her could allow Mac

  • to fulfill his purpose.

  • Either way, things will never be the same.

  • - Saturn needs us.

  • Pepper needs us.

  • - I think he'd like you to consider it.

  • - Even if I wanted to, how?

  • I can't stop her by myself.

  • [dark music]

  • What?

  • What's he saying?

  • - He--he's asking about plan B.

  • ♪ ♪

  • - I'll get the shovels.

  • [lightly edgy music]

  • ♪ ♪

  • [thudding] [sighs]

  • - When you said plan B involved grave robbing,

  • you neglected to mention it was her entire grave.

  • - It's more like grave borrowing.

  • 'Cause we're gonna put it back.

  • Just--plan B is messy.

  • And doing it at the cemetery would attract

  • too much attention.

  • - Normally, we just help a ghost achieve what it wants,

  • but, in this case, we don't know what she wants.

  • - Didn't you say Charity spoke of a vessel?

  • - Yeah, when she, uh, attacked Pepper.

  • Uh, "the vessel must die."

  • - Maybe that's what she wants.

  • The vessel could be Pepper.

  • - We're not killing Pepper.

  • - No, what I'm saying is,

  • if Charity's death cursed the whole town,

  • why is her spirit suddenly so focused on

  • "All About Eve"-ing some random actress?

  • - Charity was denied the chance

  • to play the role of Mary in life.

  • Perhaps she's taking it out on Pepper in death?

  • - Guys, I only hear half of the conversation.

  • - Oh, sorry, dear, never mind.

  • Won't this anger Charity's spirit?

  • - Big time.

  • Yeah, forcing a spirit to move on

  • is, uh... unpleasant business.

  • That is why we do it in the middle of the night

  • when the theater is empty.

  • [door creaking open]

  • [ominous music]

  • ♪ ♪

  • - Hello?

  • Miss, um...

  • phantom, ma'am?

  • - For a spirit, plan B is...

  • well, it's like dying all over again.

  • You know, they feel pain, they feel terror.

  • They lash out.

  • - I was hoping I could

  • talk to you for a sec.

  • ♪ ♪

  • [electricity crackling]

  • ♪ ♪

  • - Hey, there, good looking. [clicks tongue]

  • Could you get me the holy water?

  • - Uh-huh.

  • - I know you hate that we're here,

  • performing on your stage.

  • [dramatic music]

  • - This is a vintage 2005 from Maine.

  • - [laughs]

  • - There's a whole thing with ghost pirates.

  • - On three?

  • ♪ ♪

  • - But the theater and this play...

  • this is my dream.

  • ♪ ♪

  • - One, two...

  • ♪ ♪

  • Hey.

  • If you take the ride...

  • Say hi to Dad for me.

  • Three!

  • ♪ ♪

  • - Give us a chance to live our dream,

  • just one night.

  • We'll do it in your honor.

  • ♪ ♪

  • [both chanting in Latin]

  • - I'll I'm asking is...

  • just give us a chance.

  • ♪ ♪

  • Ugh. Oh.

  • [both continue chanting in Latin]

  • - [inhales]

  • - [screeches]

  • - [groans]

  • - [gasping]

  • [eerie music]

  • - Oh!

  • Jeez.

  • Did it work?

  • - No. [scoffs]

  • No!

  • I don't understand. [chuckles]

  • Thought there was gonna be...

  • I shouldn't be here.

  • - Sarah? Is he gone?

  • [somber music]

  • ♪ ♪

  • - Tell him it worked.

  • It's time for him to move on.

  • I mean, at least one of us can.

  • ♪ ♪

  • - Mac has gone to the other side, dear.

  • ♪ ♪

  • It was a great thing you did.

  • A hard thing.

  • ♪ ♪

  • Find something that makes you happy.

  • Hmm?

  • ♪ ♪

  • - Merry Christmas.

  • - Sorry. Sorry I'm late.

  • - About time, Mr. Barrymore.

  • Our Messiah was almost born a bastard.

  • - Hi. - You're here.

  • - I'm--I'm sorry I've been MIA.

  • But I want to let you know

  • that I cleared out that problem you were having.

  • With the pest.

  • And that it won't bother you again.

  • Ever.

  • - That's great. Thank you.

  • How did you do-- - [clears throat]

  • If you are, uh, done with whatever that was,

  • I'd like to rehearse.

  • - Yeah, me too.

  • - Yeah, sorry.

  • Yeah.

  • - Rehearsal's up, everyone!

  • - [sighs]

  • [light music]

  • - Here you go, cowboy.

  • Happy Jingles.

  • [giggles]

  • ♪ ♪

  • Mac.

  • You should go.

  • - Hold on a minute, I just want to read this article.

  • - You've been trying to open that magazine

  • for three days now.

  • - Have I? - Hmm.

  • - Time gets funny on this side.

  • - It's Christmas Eve.

  • You should be with your brother.

  • - He won't even know I'm there.

  • - It's the thought that counts.

  • - I can't do this forever.

  • I've got to figure out a way to stop...

  • lingering.

  • - Go to the theater.

  • Enjoy the pageant.

  • ♪ ♪

  • Heaven can wait.

  • - Should you have some of this?

  • 'Cause you are with a child. - Yes--no, it's okay.

  • - No, it's okay?

  • Anyway, like I was saying,

  • it's kind of a messed-up story.

  • - What?

  • - Mary was, like, what, asleep?

  • And God's just like,

  • "Hey, girl.

  • "You up? 'Cause...

  • I put a baby in you."

  • - [laughs]

  • - And that's, like, totally illegal.

  • No? - [laughing] No!

  • No, I think she knew. You know, sometimes--

  • - I don't think that makes it better.

  • - Sometimes people are just destined for something, okay?

  • What?

  • - No, I say that to my brother all the time.

  • At least, I used to.

  • - Hey, is he gonna come to the play?

  • - He's, uh... he's still on vacation.

  • - Oh.

  • - Whoa.

  • Did it just kick?

  • - Oh!

  • [both gasp]

  • I think my water just broke.

  • - Yup, it did.

  • Everywhere.

  • Oh, congratulations. - Thanks.

  • - It's a pillow. - It's a pillow.

  • It looks just like you. - It does, look.

  • - [giggles]

  • [ominous music]

  • ♪ ♪

  • - You what?

  • You have notes?

  • Well, then maybe you should direct!

  • I don't give a rat's ass if Urizel is under the weather.

  • It's tonight or never.

  • The show must go on.

  • - Douche.

  • [dramatic music]

  • ♪ ♪

  • What?

  • [groaning]

  • ♪ ♪

  • - You're gonna love that book. It's a great read.

  • - Yeah?

  • - Merry Christmas.

  • All right.

  • [yelps]

  • Mac.

  • What--what happened?

  • - It isn't over.

  • - I sent for these records from the archive

  • when you first came to me about Charity.

  • I was about to send them back.

  • - There's got to be something that we missed.

  • [dark music]

  • - Oh, here we go.

  • "Saturn Trib," 1917.

  • "In what has become the trial of the decade

  • "for the small hamlet of Saturn,

  • "Manheim Moore raved on the witness stand

  • "for nearly one hour

  • "as he was questioned regarding the murder

  • "of his pregnant wife, Charity.

  • "Most breathtaking among his slanders

  • "was the charge that Conrad Perkins,

  • "founder of the playhouse, designed the theater

  • "as a chamber to bring forth the Antichrist

  • "with a pagan ritual on Christmas Eve.

  • "According to Manheim, he saved the world by killing his wife.

  • "Said Moore, 'Don't you see? She was a vessel.

  • She had to die.'"

  • A vessel. - Hey, wait a minute.

  • I saw that guy at the theater.

  • Uh, he's the director.

  • - You couldn't have.

  • That's Conrad Perkins.

  • Th--this picture is 100 years old.

  • [whimsical music]

  • ♪ ♪

  • [all slurping]

  • ♪ ♪

  • - Mamon. Surgat.

  • ♪ ♪

  • So glad to see you again.

  • It's been positively ages.

  • - The eons of it mere moments

  • to the ever-shifting winds of time.

  • - Uh-huh.

  • Urizel.

  • How are you feeling?

  • - [blows nose]

  • - We've waited over 100 years

  • for the planets to re-align, Conrad.

  • Do not fail us.

  • Again.

  • - Oh, I could not.

  • I would not.

  • Lock the doors and take your seats, gentlemen.

  • Evening's about to begin.

  • - [humming]

  • - Myles!

  • - Sarah.

  • - We need to stop the pageant. - Show him.

  • - The director's name isn't Niko--it's Conrad Perkins

  • and he built this theater to birth a demon on Christmas Eve.

  • - What?

  • I mean, I can see the resemblance, but come on.

  • - Pepper's going to be the vessel, just like Charity.

  • Her spirit was trying to stop it from happening again.

  • - Charity's gone, there's no demon.

  • I mean, the director is kind of weird, but--

  • - I lied! - About what?

  • - For the record, I didn't think it was appropriate.

  • - Just tell him already. - Don't rush me, it's difficult!

  • - You brought it up. - Now you're confusing him.

  • - I can't say anything while you're yelling at me!

  • - Mac.

  • He didn't move on?

  • - Mm.

  • - [laughs]

  • What were you thinking, Mac?

  • You beautiful bastard!

  • - Tell him I'm, uh...

  • whoa.

  • - Mac! - What?

  • What happened? - He's bleeding.

  • We have to stop the pageant.

  • [door closes]

  • - You'll do no such thing.

  • - Hey, Niko.

  • I--I can take adjustments without you

  • pointing your pistol at me.

  • - Back up.

  • - Oh...

  • - I had a sense you'd be trouble from the moment

  • you rolled into town.

  • You never should've come to Saturn.

  • You and that enfeebled, four-eyed brother of yours.

  • - I don't know what "enfeebled" means,

  • but...I just want to act.

  • - Myles Barrymore.

  • [tense music]

  • Do you find me a fool?

  • I'm over 150 years old.

  • I knew John Barrymore.

  • Great actor.

  • Even better orgy companion.

  • - Ugh.

  • - You, sir, are no Barrymore.

  • You're a Cratchit,

  • and a weak one at that.

  • The spell I used to dampen your mind

  • required nothing but a paste of invertebrates and dandelions.

  • - You took my powers.

  • - Oh, it was a pleasure watching you squirm.

  • - You said it was my feelings!

  • - All the more reason to put this man in the ground.

  • - Oh, much too late for that, my dear.

  • Malik's disembodied energy has been

  • afflicting this town's Christmas ever since Manheim

  • blasted Charity into oblivion.

  • While I've certainly enjoyed watching the chaos from afar,

  • the Christmas star returns tonight.

  • And it's time for our god to take the form

  • that was always meant for him.

  • Once Malik is born into the physical world,

  • the Earth will fall into a millennia of darkness.

  • And I will rule at the master's side.

  • But first...

  • we're gonna need a new Joseph.

  • ♪ ♪

  • [excited chatter]

  • [light music playing]

  • ♪ ♪

  • [indistinct chatter]

  • - People, do we have everyone?

  • Hush, hush.

  • Eyes front.

  • Unfortunately, Myles has fallen very ill

  • with food poisoning.

  • So, I will be taking over the role of Joseph

  • in tonight's performance.

  • Also, I've spoken with my muse,

  • and I've made a few minor adjustments to the script.

  • But I know you're all gifted improvisers,

  • so remember...

  • "yes, and."

  • ♪ ♪

  • Curtains up!

  • [classical music playing]

  • [applause]

  • ♪ ♪

  • I bid you welcome, Saturn.

  • I thank you for your presence.

  • I thank you for each and every one of

  • your beautiful souls.

  • And now...

  • you will witness the birth

  • of the king of the world.

  • [applause]

  • [all slurping]

  • - Imagine yourself making contact.

  • Envision it.

  • Manifest it. - Come on, come on.

  • I'm trying.

  • - The demon won't be born until the end of the play.

  • You've got a little time.

  • - This is a Christmas pageant. It's not "Hamlet."

  • You need to get it together now.

  • [applause]

  • [ominous music]

  • - Hail Mary, blessed art thou among women.

  • And behold!

  • For he has chosen you

  • to bring forth our lord,

  • and his kingdom

  • shall have no end.

  • [mystical music]

  • ♪ ♪

  • - I will gladly carry out the Lord's wi--ugh!

  • [groans]

  • Niko, I think I'm sick or something.

  • - Stay in character, the show must go on.

  • - [groaning]

  • - I can't untie a rope.

  • How am I supposed to stop a demon?

  • - He's a warlock. Malik's the demon.

  • - I understand, but I-- I remind you--

  • - Is he complaining? - I think he's just nervous.

  • - When Mary and Joseph arrived at the stable...

  • - Niko, there's something really wrong.

  • - Quiet, wench. - What?

  • What're you-- - Joseph...

  • lay his wife on the hay.

  • - Ow, what're you doing?

  • - And tied her to a post.

  • - Ow! Ow, Niko, that hurts.

  • That hurts. Ah!

  • Niko, that-- that really hurts.

  • [struggling]

  • What're you doing?

  • ♪ ♪

  • [screams]

  • [cries]

  • [screaming]

  • - Calm yourself, mother of our master.

  • - [cries]

  • Help! Help, somebody!

  • This isn't part of the play!

  • - What the hell are you doing to her?

  • Stop!

  • - Stay in your seats. - [cries]

  • - And bare witness

  • to the birth of your new lord.

  • [speaking foreign language]

  • [mystical music]

  • ♪ ♪

  • [laughs deviously]

  • - This is it, man. Hmm?

  • You've been looking for a purpose.

  • You can't do much better than saving the world.

  • - He wants to know why he can't untie the ropes.

  • - I don't know.

  • Um... maybe--

  • maybe we don't get out.

  • Maybe you don't save us.

  • [tense music]

  • - He's right.

  • Hmm?

  • Go.

  • - You can do this, Mac.

  • Huh? I had the gift.

  • But you...

  • you're the one who made this team work.

  • I'm proud of you.

  • I always have been.

  • And I always will be.

  • [chuckles]

  • What's he saying now?

  • - Oh, he actually left a little bit ago.

  • I didn't want to interrupt.

  • You were saying such sweet things.

  • [all speaking foreign language]

  • - [grunting]

  • [suspenseful music]

  • [groans]

  • ♪ ♪

  • Don't--don't come near me.

  • Don't come near me.

  • - [speaking foreign language] - Come on!

  • [groans] - [speaking foreign language]

  • - Come on! - [speaking foreign language]

  • ♪ ♪

  • - Don't touch me!

  • ♪ ♪

  • Please!

  • [cries]

  • [blade slices] [screams]

  • [yells]

  • - [speaking foreign language]

  • - [grunts]

  • - [speaking foreign language] - [screams]

  • [groans]

  • [screams]

  • [baby screeches]

  • [screams]

  • [baby screeches]

  • ♪ ♪

  • - Shit.

  • Okay.

  • ♪ ♪

  • - And thus was born a child...

  • a king who would rule all nations!

  • - You're a badass ghost.

  • This is your purpose.

  • You're a badass ghost.

  • This is your purpose.

  • ♪ ♪

  • - Look upon him,

  • and wail thy lamentations to the heavens.

  • ♪ ♪

  • Hail Malik, the Defiler!

  • [baby screeches]

  • [crowd chanting "Hail Malik"]

  • - Come on. You got to be kidding me.

  • This is my purpose!

  • [chanting continues]

  • Work with me, destiny.

  • I just have to stab one little dagger

  • into one little baby.

  • [chanting continues]

  • ♪ ♪

  • - [cackling] [blade slices]

  • [crowd continues chanting]

  • [baby growls]

  • - Curious.

  • - [yells]

  • - No!

  • - Oh.

  • And then what happened?

  • Did you stab the baby dead?

  • - Yes. And also no.

  • The baby was Malik the Defiler. - Of course, yeah.

  • - And after the first stab, these tentacles

  • came out of it like this.

  • [imitating growls]

  • - Did you draw that?

  • - Yeah, I free-handed. - It's awesome.

  • - And that was right before the vortex opened up

  • and--and sucked up all the tall guys and Conrad

  • and the roof, like, piece by piece.

  • - God, that sounds so expensive.

  • In terms of property damage, I mean.

  • God, I wish I'd seen it.

  • - I wish everyone had seen it.

  • It was awesome. - But see, what did I tell you?

  • There are certain things you can only do if you're a ghost.

  • Hmm? [cell phone buzzes]

  • - Is that Pepper? How she feeling?

  • - She's tired.

  • But she can't remember much.

  • - Well, a curse will do that to you.

  • Are you ever gonna tell her that I'm not actually on vacation?

  • - Yes, when the timing is right.

  • It's important to keep some mystery in the relationship.

  • - Well, I'm not going anywhere.

  • I found my purpose. I saved the world.

  • And, uh, for some reason, I'm still here.

  • - Well, maybe the world still needs ya.

  • I do, buddy.

  • [knocking]

  • - Hi, boys.

  • I have someone here to speak with you.

  • - Oh, send them in.

  • - The Cratchits will see you now.

  • This is Myles.

  • And that's Mac.

  • He's a ghost.

  • I assisted Julie's husband with a case a few years back.

  • He's very open-minded.

  • - He was, um, open-minded.

  • - Well, what happened?

  • - I think there's something wrong in Saturn.

  • - You talking about last night?

  • - No, what happened last night?

  • - Nothing.

  • - I haven't left my house in days.

  • There is no one that I can trust.

  • They're everywhere.

  • [ominous music]

  • - Who is?

  • - Stan started poking around this place

  • after our son disappeared.

  • And then a few days ago, he just stopped coming home.

  • And now he-- he hangs out there all the time.

  • I don't think he's sleeping.

  • - So you think the coffee shop is...

  • haunted?

  • - No. I think it's something bigger.

  • ♪ ♪

  • What do you boys know about extraterrestrials?

  • ♪ ♪

  • [lightly edgy music]

  • ♪ ♪

[whimsical music]

Subtitles and vocabulary

Click the word to look it up Click the word to find further inforamtion about it