Name: Gay Allison
Uploaded: 2016-12-19T20:56:11.000Z
Duration: 2 min 40 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

The superlative

I'm just no longer your one straight friend.

I just don't understand why you woke me up

I was sitting next to this girl at a coffeeshop

and I found myself staring at her tan legs and her arms,

and that place where your neck meets your collarbone

Well I don't understand why you're not attracted to me then.

Because when you weren't attracted to any girls it was fine

and you're not interested in sleeping with me,

you're my best friend in the entire world,

I wouldn't do anything to risk our friendship.

The reason I'm not attracted to you is nothing

You barely shower, you're covered in cat hair,

I'm not sure if the last thing is hygiene or halitosis,

but either way I find it really repulsive.

So the only things I have to do for you to

Yeah, at this point those are the main things holding me back

You want me to completely change who I am.

No, it's just a couple of grooming habits..

Go have sex with your coffeeshop girl instead.

Ew, I never said I wanted to have sex with her,

I don't know, that I like looking at something?

Well, I am glad I didn't give up coffee and cats

Whatever my next girlfriend's going to have bangs.

Wait come back, it wants to have sex with you!