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(Playing dinosaurs and planes)
Son, it's time for bed.
But dad, I'm having such a good game.
James, it's far too late for boys of your age to be up. It‘s 12:37 at night
But I'm not even sleepy! Can't I have a story first?
(sigh) alright, just one though.
Now, what would you like me to read you?
Peter Rabbit?
Mmmmm...
Goldilocks and the Three Bears?
Hmmm...
How about...
The Story of the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election?
YES! That one! That one! That one! Yes!
Alright.
Once upon the time, in a land called America
where there were states of blue to the North and states of red to the South
And a beautiful White House in between
Lived a lady, who wanted to rule the kingdom very much
Very very much
Some would say, too much...
And she wore a jacket of beige
and trousers of beige
and shoes of beige
And she walked the land telling everyone that would listen
that she was the best ruler for that land
even though her husband has once ruled that kingdom
this kingdom had never been ruled by a lady
And so she set up a long journey to that beautiful White House
but along the way she got lost in a forest
A scary forest?
Scariest forest!
And in this forest, there were lots of computers
And all those computers...are EMAILS!
Emails?
Yes, emails.
But, the lady had special power to make them disappear
Disappear? Where did they go?
Nobody knows, son.
apparently neither did she.
And also there were scary creatures in that forest
There were trolls, and a fox who delivered BAD news
The news FOX
And, house selected committee on Benghazi
BENGHAZI!
Things got scary, very scary for the lady
She was nearly defeated by an old old man with hair of white and face like wizard
He said he could take from the rich and give to the poor
no matter how impossible his plans were
He sounds cool!
But even she when she got passed those creatures the lady still wasn't out of the forest
for standing between her and the beautiful White House was the most terrifying creature of all
The BIG-ORANGE-MONSTER!
Was his face orange or was his hair orange?
Somehow son...BOTH
So this orange monster had already swallowed 16 other monsters in the forest
A prince named Jeb who thought that the land should belong to him
A sleeping beauty named Ben, who only spoke with his eyes closed
And a Texas senate named Ted, who came from the Tea party
Oh! a tea party! Can we have a tea party, daddy?
James! Focus! I'm telling you a story.
Still, nobody expected the orange monster to rule the land because although his head was very very big
his wisdom was very very tiny, like his tiny tiny baby hands
And whenever he was told that he couldn't rule the land
the orange monster said
I'll huff...and I'll puff...and put a ban on all Muslims
He could do that?
well, he wanted to
Because even though the America was a diverse land of opportunity, the monster wanted to build a big giant wall
A wall?
A wall to keep out boys and girls from far away lands like Mexico
Even Mexico?
Especially Mexico
For the monster didn't care for anybody who wasn't like him
Not Mexicans, not the kingdom's black president
not even Rosie O'Donnell
The comedian Rosie O'Donnell? But why?
Because James, she's a LADY
And since the orange monster's so cruel to so many ladies
the stakes in this 2016 presidential election were very very high
But if any future monster wanted to say boys and girls aren't equal
Americans would know that the lady, with beige trousers suit, made it through the scary forest
and passed the orange monster, and all the way to the beautiful White House
The end? But daddy, did the lady make it to the White House?
Tell me did the lady make it to the big White House?
We can't tell it yet son...
and...neither can the polls
Let's just hope that when you wake up in the morning every man and woman in the America has turned out to vote
Because no matter what your political affiliations are, you have a civic duty to vote
and as long as you do, no one can tell you that this election was rigged
Where...where are you looking daddy?
no, no particular..that's it
Good night
But daddy... the big orange monster won't grab me in the night, will he?
Of course not, son
What about my Pussy?
Will he try to grab my Pussy?
ehhh.........
good night, son!
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The Tale of Election 2016 w/ Benedict Cumberbatch

32948 Folder Collection
Sabrina Hsu published on November 10, 2016    Sabrina Hsu translated    Kristi Yang reviewed
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