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  • (Playing dinosaurs and planes)

  • Son, it's time for bed.

  • But daddy, I'm having such a good game.

  • James, it's far too late for boys of your age to be up. It‘s 12:37 at night

  • But I'm not even sleepy! Can't I have a story first?

  • (sigh) alright, just one though.

  • Now, what would you like me to read you?

  • Peter Rabbit?

  • Mmmmm...

  • Goldilocks and the Three Bears?

  • Hmmm...

  • How about...

  • The Story of the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election?

  • YES! That one! That one! That one! Yes!

  • Alright.

  • Once upon the time, in a land called America

  • where there were states of blue to the North and states of red to the South

  • And a beautiful White House in between

  • Lived a lady, who wanted to rule the kingdom very much

  • Very very much

  • Some would say, too much...

  • And she wore a jacket of beige

  • and trousers of beige

  • and shoes of beige

  • And she walked the land telling everyone that would listen

  • that she was the best ruler for that land

  • even though her husband has once ruled that kingdom

  • this kingdom had never been ruled by a lady

  • And so she set up a long journey to that beautiful White House

  • but along the way she got lost in a forest

  • A scary forest?

  • Scariest forest!

  • In this forest, there were lots of computers

  • And all those computers...are EMAILS!

  • Emails?

  • Yes, emails.

  • But, the lady had special power to make them disappear

  • Disappear? Where did they go?

  • Nobody knows, son.

  • apparently neither did she.

  • And also there were scary creatures in that forest

  • There were trolls, and a fox who delivered BAD news

  • The news FOX

  • And, house selected committee on Benghazi

  • BENGHAZI!

  • Things got scary, very scary for the lady

  • She was nearly defeated by an old old man with hair of white and face like wizard

  • He said he could take from the rich and give to the poor

  • no matter how impossible his plans were

  • He sounds cool!

  • But even she when she got passed those creatures the lady still wasn't out of the forest

  • for standing between her and the beautiful White House was the most terrifying creature of all

  • The BIG-ORANGE-MONSTER!

  • Was his face orange or was his hair orange?

  • Somehow son...BOTH

  • So this orange monster had already swallowed 16 other monsters in the forest

  • A prince named Jeb who thought that the land should belong to him

  • A sleeping beauty named Ben, who only spoke with his eyes closed

  • And a Texas senator named Ted, who came from the Tea party

  • Oh! a tea party! Can we have a tea party, daddy?

  • James! Focus! I'm telling you a story.

  • Still, nobody expected the orange monster to rule the land because although his head was very very big

  • his wisdom was very very tiny, like his tiny tiny baby hands

  • And whenever he was told that he couldn't rule the land

  • the orange monster said

  • I'll huff...and I'll puff...and put a ban on all Muslims

  • He could do that?

  • well, he wanted to

  • Because even though the America was a diverse land of opportunity, the monster wanted to build a big giant wall

  • A wall?

  • A wall to keep out boys and girls from far away lands like Mexico

  • Even Mexico?

  • Especially Mexico

  • For the monster didn't care for anybody who wasn't like him

  • Not Mexicans, not the kingdom's black president

  • not even Rosie O'Donnell

  • The comedian Rosie O'Donnell? But why?

  • Because James, she's a LADY

  • And since the orange monster's so cruel to so many ladies

  • the stakes in this 2016 presidential election were very very high

  • But if any future monster wanted to say boys and girls aren't equal

  • Americans would know that the lady, with beige trousers suit, made it through the scary forest

  • and passed the orange monster, and all the way to the beautiful White House

  • The end? But daddy, did the lady make it to the White House?

  • Tell me did the lady make it to the big White House?

  • We can't tell it yet son...

  • neither can the polls

  • Let's just hope that when you wake up in the morning every man and woman in the America has turned out to vote

  • Because no matter what your political affiliations are, you have a civic duty to vote

  • and as long as you do, no one can tell you that this election was rigged

  • Where...where are you looking daddy?

  • no one in particular..that's it

  • Good night

  • But daddy... the big orange monster won't grab me in the night, will he?

  • Of course not, son

  • What about my Pussy?

  • Will he try to grab my Pussy?

  • ehhh...

  • good night, son!

(Playing dinosaurs and planes)

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A2 UK TheLateLateShow monster orange forest white house beige

The Tale of Election 2016 w/ Benedict Cumberbatch

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    Sabrina Hsu posted on 2016/11/09
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