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  • Has this ever happened to you?

  • I don't think the world revolves around me.

  • I hate being liked by everyone.

  • I wish I didn't seem so intelligent.

  • Well, look no further. With the Douchebag Workout,

  • you'll never seem humble, likeable, or smart ever again!

  • All you have to do is watch this video, follow along, and before you

  • know it, you'll go from humble to HUMBRO!

  • Likeable to LIKEABRO!

  • Smart to...

  • DUMB!

  • (nasally voice) Hey, gang! Welcome to the Douchebag Workout.

  • If you're a beginner, take your time.

  • We're gonna start off with a simple warm up, so come on!

  • Let's get started.

  • Set up the tripod, set up the lights,

  • take out your camera, lock it in tight!

  • Turn on the timer, run on back,

  • unbutton your shirt and hunch your back.

  • Now breath in, exhale out.

  • Clench your abs and make a pout.

  • Import picture, photoshop,

  • add some contrast, make them pop!

  • Now export, upload, almost done!

  • Don't forget your humble caption.

  • Pain is gain, and here's a taste.

  • Diet's working! Happy face!

  • Now share to Facebook, Instagram,

  • Tweet it, Tumble, email, spam!

  • Like it first, make sure you tag

  • all your friends like a real douchebag!

  • Congratulations, you just completed the warm up.

  • YOLO swag!

  • You're officially a douche online, but that's nothing, folks.

  • A true douchebag is a douche everywhere.

  • Especially in person!

  • Beginners, take your time! You're not gonna become Kanye overnight.

  • Just follow this program once a day, everyday, and you'll be set.

  • Here we go!

  • Wake up in your Louis V. jammies,

  • brush your teeth, take a bathroom selfie!

  • Skinny ripped jeans, aviators indoors,

  • super deep v-neck with chains galore!

  • Now slick your hair, shoot a fake freethrow.

  • Stroke your brows and flick your nose!

  • Take your car, roll down the windows,

  • turn up the bass, pump up the stereo!

  • Now force yourself into that lane.

  • Cut off one car, and the other tailgate.

  • Flip him off as you slow down.

  • Don't signal til' you turn right now!

  • Take your time, even though you're late,

  • 'cause you can always use your grandma's handicapped space.

  • Now back to work, check your comments down under.

  • Accountentant trying to count, [inaudible] of numbers.

  • Keep looking busy by playing Counter Strike,

  • but only [inaudible]

  • Now hit the gym, do a curl before you go

  • to hit on girls with your bros.

  • Prove you're tough by taking shot after shot.

  • Start for fight for no reason, get rocked, and then dropped.

  • Wake up with a headache on a hospital bed,

  • Then decide to sue the guy who put a dent inside your head.

  • Now take a pic of the money you've got.

  • Say how you started from the bottom, now you're on top.

  • You're officially a douchebag. Congratulations, my friend.

  • Now it's time to sleep, wake up and do it again!

  • And just like that, you're officially a douchebag.

  • Hashtag #KilledIt!

  • - See, it wasn't that hard. - That's what she said.

  • Just follow this workout once a day, every day,

  • and before you know it, you could be just like

  • some of our satisfied customers, such as:

  • Kanye West, John Mayer, Ashton Kutcher, The Bieb post puberty,

  • every guy not wearing a shirt in their profile pictures,

  • Larry from Spongebob, the ShamWow Guy, the ShamWow Whoo-Hoo Guy,

  • and anyone who answers, "Yeah" by saying,

  • "Uh, j'yeah."

  • The list goes on and on!

  • Hell j'yeah!

  • And that was just one of the workouts. For the easy price of $69.69,

  • you'll receive the complete Douchebag Workout DVD,

  • which includes bonus douchebag features, such as:

  • The 'How to take up two stalls' workout,

  • the 'Saying "Borrow" when you really mean "Keep" sing-a-long',

  • the 'How to eat from both fries on your way home tutorial'

  • and it even comes with a whole list of douchebag activities

  • for you to do with your friends, such as:

  • The infamous leg tripping game,

  • the ever-so-popular knee buckler,

  • the classic nut shot,

  • and even this thing!

  • (popping noise)

  • But that's not all!

  • - For an additional $69.69-- - That's what she said--

  • you can get the douchebag workout SWAG EDITION!

  • It comes with a gold trim DVD case for FREE!

  • But wait, order now and you'll receive this PROTEIN POWDER SHAKER

  • that you can carry around everywhere so that people know that you work out!

  • But hold on!

  • If you order now, we'll also throw in your very own SWAG GLASSES!

  • Made with 100% real CUBIC ZIRCONIA--

  • Butt hole!

  • You order now, you'll also receive 50 WIFE BEATERS,

  • the size CHILDRENS SMALL,

  • so that your mother only has to do your laundry TWICE A MONTH!

  • So what are you waiting for? Order now before it's too la--

  • This offer is no longer valid because you waited too long.

  • TEEHEE

Has this ever happened to you?

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