I estimate this soap has one more good washing left.

Dang.

It's so small I can't even find it.

What's with the bath?

Did the shower reject you again?

I'm trying to think of a product idea.

I read that Einstein

did his best thinking in the bath.

It's the warm water.

That's the same theory behind instant soup.

Would you mind not staring at me?

Uh, what's the camera for?

That's my voice-activated, motion-sensitive

hovering Dilcamcorder

specially designed to record my brilliant ideas.

Oh, I hope that's what that's for.

I'm sitting in water.

I can't use my laptop computer.

Hmm. So that's your story.

Yes, it is.

As an engineer,

obviously you know

that a bathtub is the least efficient form of bathing.

I'm thinking up ideas.

You're sitting in your own filth.

Some of it's in the water.

It's kind of like rinsing your fruit

in the sewer to wash the pesticides off.

Okay. Bath is over.

Ugh. Why don't you invent a product

that keeps your skin from wrinkling after a bath?

Kind of a de-pruner.

Dogbert, that is the vainest, most superficial idea

I've ever heard.

Thank you.

I don't want to de-prune people.

I want to make the world a better place to live in.

Is this where you thought up your invention

that reversed global warming?

Yes. The bath water helps me think.

And why are you filming yourself?

I told you.

I can't use the laptop in the bath.

So, you're sticking to that story?

Yes, I am.

You know, you're sitting in your own filth.

I'm trying to think of an invention

to fix that too.

I think it's called the SHOWER.

This fantasy's been a profound disappointment.

[music]

[CHANTING] Ooh, ah, oh, chee!

Ooh, ah, oh, chee!

Ooh, ah, oh, chee!

Ooh, ah, oh, chee!

Ooh, ah, oh, chee!

Ooh, ah, oh, chee!

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

[CARS HONKING]

Ooh, yuck!

WOMAN'S VOICE: All pedestrians eliminated.

Game over.

Can we do some work now?

One more game.

I think I can get to the rest home

if I blow up the day care center.

Welcome to pedestrian outrage.

Remember, I'm the only woman who loves you.

Registered user: Wally.

He's hooked.

We're on a deadline here.

We need to design

the company's new flagship product

and we need it yesterday.

Yesterday?

Then it's already too late.

Which means...

Yes! One more game.

Everything's been invented.

No, it hasn't.

A time machine.

That's just one example.

[SIGHS] All right. Let's go with a time machine.

[TRUCK HORN BLARES]

[CRASH]

Well, that's it.

I'm inured to violence now.

[HUMMING]

Well, how's the prototype coming?

Hmm?

A rotating cube.

I like it.

Can we be first to market?

That's a screen saver.

Save the technical mumbo jumbo.

I just want to know if it'll work.

It'll work, but everyone already has one.

That's no good.

What else do you have?

We were tossing around the idea of a time machine.

Well, you'd better get going on that.

I've heard there's a rival engineering department

right here in our own organization

moving into our turf

and developing their own prototype.

Just out of curiosity

who's running the other department?

Lena.

Lena? You mean there really is a Lena?

I always thought she was just a myth.

She's more than a myth.

She's like the Xena of engineers.

I heard when she was attending Wellesley

as a foreign exchange student, there was an incident

where she severed a couple of classmates' heads

with a hockey stick.

None of the witnesses ever talked about that day.

If no one talked

how do we all know the story?

I read it on her Web page.

Uh-oh.

I heard a rumor

that she steals the ideas of other engineers

then cuts off their heads so they can't talk.

I like Wally's story better.

Anyway, no shame in being a runner-up.

After all, Albany is BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR.

ALL: Albany?

Whoever designs the next prototype

will need more floor space.

I'll have to relocate

the unproductive engineers

to our facility in Albany.

[WIND WHISTLING]

[TYPING]

Hey, look at this, Alice.

"Home Liposuction Kit."

You could take one of these babies and-- Ooh!

We're doomed.

Lena's team is probably half-done with their prototype.

We don't even have an idea.

Lena is totally overrated.

We can beat her.

I don't care if most of the engineers

have gone over to her side.

Lena's team is so big,

you could get lost in the crowd

and never have to lift a finger.

ALICE: They might get the big raises and the party atmosphere

but they'll never know the satisfaction that comes

from really hard work.

You could have worded that better.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Can I help you?

I've got to get to work and you're blocking me.

Although it might seem that way on the surface

in reality, it's you that's blocking yourself.

You're right.

How do you know that?

It's what I do.

You're a garbage man.

Exactly.

Well, can you at least move the truck?

It is moving.

It only seems like it's standing still.

By the way, thanks for recycling.

[STRAINED] Lena.

[FOREIGN ACCENT] Dilbert, I am so very sorry.

You must have been in my blind spot.

I was right in front of you.

Exactly.

You look so pale and sickly.

That's because I can't...breathe.

[PANTING]

I cannot tell you how excited I am

for the opportunity to work on a prototype

against such a pro like yourself.

Me?

I am a huge FAN OF YOUR WORK.