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  • CAN YA TELL?

  • CAN YA TELL -- CAN YA TELL I'VE HAD A WEEK OFF, LADIES AND

  • GENTLEMEN?

  • I'M ENERGIZED, FULLY LOADED AND BOTH TANKS ARE CHARGED, FOLKS,

  • AND IT IS GREAT TO BE.

  • >> WE WERE ON BREAK FOR THE LAST TEN DAYS, AND I HIT MY TARGET

  • WEIGHT WHICH WAS TO GAIN ONE POUND A DAY.

  • (LAUGHTER) A LITTLE BIT OF DRINKING, A

  • LITTLE BIT OF FISHING.

  • DON'T MATTER WHAT KIND OF FISH IT WAS BECAUSE ONCE YOU DEEP FRY

  • IT, CAN'T TELL WHAT IT IS.

  • SPEAKING OF FRYING, ANYBODY HERE A FAN OF BURGER KING?

  • I LOVE THE KING.

  • IT'S MY FAVORITE FOOD-BASED AUTHORITARIAN GOVERNMENT, EVER

  • SINCE THEY STOPPED MAKING "DICTATOR-TOTS."

  • (LAUGHTER) THANK YOU!

  • SO GLAD I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT BY MYSELF, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN

  • LONELY.

  • (LAUGHTER) AND NOW, BURGER KING IS TESTING

  • A NEW MENU ITEM THAT COMBINES A WHOPPER AND A BURRITO-- CALLED

  • THE WHOPPERRITO.

  • (LAUGHTER) IT'S GOT ALL THE INGREDIENTS OF

  • THE WHOPPER, WRAPPED UP LIKE A BURRITO.

  • IT'S GREAT IF YOU LOVE BOTH THOSE FOODS AND HATE YOURSELF.

  • (LAUGHTER) REALLY SOUNDS MORE LIKE A

  • SUICIDE PACT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

  • THE WHOPPERITO IS CURRENTLY BEING TESTED ONLY FOR A LIMITED

  • TIME AT SELECT BURGER KINGS IN PENNSYLVANIA.

  • SO IF YOU'RE HIGHLY MOTIVATED AND READY TO GET SOMEPLACE

  • REALLY QUICK, YOU ARE NOT THE TARGET MARKET FOR THE

  • WHOPPERITO.

  • (LAUGHTER) I'M GUESSING THE WHOPPERITO IS

  • NOT GOING TO HAVE A LOT OF HISPANIC FANS.

  • SPEAKING OF WHICH, DONALD TRUMP.

  • (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)

  • HE IS PRESENTLY BEING SUED OVER HIS FAKE COLLEGE, TRUMP

  • UNIVERSITY.

  • HIS MASCOT IS SO OFFENSIVE, WE CAN'T EVEN SHOW IT.

  • IT'S JUST TWO ORANGE BALLS.

  • (LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • BECAUSE, FOLKS, HE'S GOT A SWINGIN' PAIR OF 'EM.

  • (LAUGHTER) AND, EVIDENTLY, TRUMP DOESN'T

  • TRUST THE JUDGE IN THE CASE FOR ONE VERY MEXICAN REASON.

  • (LAUGHTER) >> I HAVE HAD HORRIBLE RULINGS.

  • I HAVE BEEN TREATED UNFAIRLY BY THIS JUDGE.

  • NOW, THIS JUDGE IS OF MEXICAN HERITAGE.

  • I'M BUILDING A WALL, OKAY?

  • I'M BUILDING A WALL.

  • THIS JUDGE IS GIVING US UNFAIR RULINGS.

  • NOW, I SAY WHY.

  • I'M BUILDING A WALL, OKAY?

  • AND IT'S A WALL BETWEEN MEXICO, NOT ANOTHER COUNTRY.

  • >> STEPHEN: YES.

  • (AUDIENCE BOOING) THAT'S IMPORTANT.

  • BETWEEN "MEXICO, NOT ANOTHER COUNTRY."

  • PROOF THAT TRUMP DOESN'T LIKE MEXICO AND CAN'T NAME "ANOTHER

  • COUNTRY."

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) NOW, THE JUDGE IN QUESTION,

  • GONZALO CURIEL, WAS BORN IN THE MEXICAN PROVINCE OF "INDIANA."

  • (LAUGHTER) I HOPE I'M PRONOUNCING THAT

  • CORRECTLY.

  • SO IT'S RAISED A BIG QUESTION: IS TRUMP A RACIST FOR SAYING AN

  • AMERICAN CAN'T BE TRUSTED BECAUSE OF HIS HERITAGE?

  • HARD FOR ME TO JUDGE TRUMP -- MY IRISH HERITAGE MAKES ME WANT

  • TO FIGHT ANYONE WHO LOOKS THAT MUCH LIKE A POTATO.

  • (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)

  • I THINK I WAS JUST RACIST AGAINST MYSELF!

  • (LAUGHTER) TRUMP'S POINT IS, HE CANNOT BE

  • JUDGED BY A MEMBER OF ANY GROUP HE'S OFFENDED.

  • SO THAT MEANS NO MEXICAN JUDGES, NO MUSLIM JUDGES, NO ASIAN

  • JUDGES, NO WOMEN JUDGES, UNLESS SHE'S A "10."

  • (LAUGHTER) TRUMP'S INSULTED THE POPE, SO NO

  • CATHOLIC JUDGES.

  • HE CALLED EVERYONE IN IOWA "STUPID," SO NO JUDGES THAT EAT

  • CORN.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT?

  • MAYBE TRUMP MIGHT BE MORE COMFORTABLE IF HE COULDN'T TELL

  • THE JUDGE'S RACE OR GENDER.

  • MAYBE COVER THE JUDGE UP, IN AN UNBIASED ROBE.

  • MAKE IT WHITE.

  • MAYBE WITH A MATCHING HOOD.

  • THAT SEEMS RIGHT.

  • (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)

  • DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS!

  • GOT TO BE FAIR!

  • THAT WAY IT'S GOT TO BE FAIR!

  • SEEM RIGHT?

  • >> Jon: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT ONE.

  • >> Stephen: TRUST ME, TRUST ME, IT WILL BE FINE.

  • IT WILL BE FINE.

  • (LAUGHTER) BUT THERE IS ONE MINORITY GROUP

  • TRUMP IS REACHING OUT TO AND POINTING AT THEM.

  • >> WE HAD A CASE WHERE WE HAD AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN GUY WHO WAS A

  • FAN OF MINE.

  • GREAT FAN.

  • GREAT GUY!

  • IN FACT, I WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT I'M -- OH, LOOK AT MY AFRICAN-AMERICAN OVER HERE!

  • LOOK AT HIM!

  • ARE YOU THE GREATEST?

  • >> Stephen: WELL, IT SHOCKED SOME PEOPLE, BUT TRUMP DID SAY

  • HE WAS GOING TO START ACTING PRESIDENTIAL, AND "LOOK AT MY

  • AFRICAN-AMERICAN" DOES SOUND LIKE SOMETHING THOMAS JEFFERSON

  • MIGHT HAVE SAID.

  • (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Jon: HEY!

  • >> Stephen: THAT'S A FAIR COP.

  • IN TRUMP'S DEFENSE, THE MAN HE WAS POINTING OUT "WAS" AN

  • AFRICAN-AMERICAN TRUMP SUPPORTER.

  • ALTHOUGH, IF YOU'VE ONLY GOT THE ONE, IT WOULD BE POLITE TO LEARN

  • THE GUY'S NAME.

CAN YA TELL?

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B2 TheLateShow trump laughter judge african american mexican

Welcoming The Whopperrito, and Donald Trump's Outreach To African Americans

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    VoiceTube posted on 2016/07/12
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