Name: Late Show Powerball Tips
Uploaded: 2016-07-11T06:22:45.000Z
Duration: 4 min 14 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

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YOU KNOW, OVER THE COMMERCIAL BREAK, I WAS THINKING ABOUT MY

AND, AGAIN, FOR THOSE JUST JOINING US, I'M GOING TO WIN.

NOW, ALARMINGLY, THERE SEEMS TO BE ONE THING STANDING IN MY WAY:

>> EXCITEMENT IS GROWING INTERNATIONALLY.

THOUSANDS OF CANADIANS ARE POURING INTO THE U.S. TO TRY

>> THE CANADIANS, THEY'RE COMING LIKE CRAZY HERE FOR THE LOTTO.

>> I'M GONNA TAKE MY CHANCES JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

WE COME HERE AND DROP A LOT OF MONEY ON A REGULAR BASIS.

WE SHOP IN THE U.S. A LOT, SO WE GIVE TO YOU.

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: NO ONE DISPUTES THAT

CANADA GIVES US A LOT, FROM THEIR DELICIOUS SYRUP TO THEIR

BUT YOU ARE PLAYING WITH FIRE HERE, CANADIAN WOMAN, BECAUSE I

PROMISE YOU, IF ONE OF YOU MOOSE-MUNCHING ICE-HOLES WINS

AMERICA'S BILLION-DOLLAR POWERBALL, DONALD TRUMP WILL BE

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I'LL VOTE FOR HIM!

BECAUSE HE'S GOING TO BUILD A WALL BETWEEN THE U.S. AND CANADA

AND MAKE THE POWERBALL WINNER PAY FOR IT!

SO AN AMERICAN HAS GOT TO WIN THIS THING, AND PEOPLE ARE

DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR ADVICE FROM THE EXPERTS, LIKE

SEVEN-TIME LOTTO WINNER RICHARD LUSTIG, A MAN WHO STRUCK

IT SO BIG IN THE LOTTO, HE CAN FULFILL HIS LIFELONG DREAM OF

>> THE QUESTION THEY ASK IS, "WHAT CAN I DO?

WHAT CAN I DO TO GIVE MYSELF A BETTER CHANCE OF WINNING?"

>> Stephen: YES, THAT'S THE QUESTION I'M ASKING!

>> THIS IS GOING TO SOUND BAD, BUT THIS IS THE ONLY ANSWER--

>> Stephen: "BUY AS MANY AS YOU CAN AFFORD."

YOU'VE GOT TO BE IN IT TO WIN IT, BUT YOU HAVE TO BUDGET FOR

THE ESSENTIALS-- FOOD, RENT, SCRATCHERS, THE PONIES, CAMEL

NOW, SOME MIGHT SAY THERE'S NO WAY TO GAME A COMPLETELY RANDOM

SYSTEM AND THAT YOU'RE FAR BETTER OFF SAVING OR INVESTING

( LAUGHTER ) THEY'RE TAKING THEMSELVES OUT OF

THE GAME, AND LEAVING ALL THEIR DAUGHTERS' LUCKY BIRTHDAYS FOR

SO WHILE I'M GOING TO CLEARLY WIN THIS ONE, HERE ARE SOME

AND KEEP IN MIND THAT THE TIP IS THE MOST SENSITIVE PART OF THE

OKAY, "LATE SHOW'S"" POWERBALL TIP NUMBER ONE-- PICK ONLY

WINNING NUMBERS, BE IT 8, 11, 39-- YOUR CHOICE, BUT PICK THE

A LOT OF FOLKS LOSE BEFORE THEY EVEN PLAY BECAUSE THEY PICK AN

TIP NUMBER THREE: IF IT'S SMART TO BUY AS MANY TICKETS AS YOU

CAN AFFORD, THINK HOW SMARTER IT IS TO BUY MORE THAN YOU CAN

WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GET THE MONEY, YOU ASK?

THAT GUY'S LOADED BECAUSE HE JUST WON THE LOTTERY WITH TIPS

NEXT, TIP NUMBER FOUR: IF YOU WANT TO BE A LOTTERY

WINNER, START ACTING LIKE A LOTTERY WINNER.

START SCREAMING AT YOUR LOVED ONES, "I'M NOT A DAMN BANK!"

THEN WAKE UP IN A RADISSON BATHROOM UNDER A PILE OF NAKED

STRANGERS, EMPTY THE MINI BAR INTO YOUR POCKETS, AND SLINK

BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO NEED THAT PAYCHECK TO BUY MORE LOTTO

HAVE THIS LOTTERY TICKET BECAUSE THAT POWERBALL IS ALL

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Late Show Powerball Tips

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