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  • FOLKS, WE'RE JUST PAST HALLOWEEN, WHICH MEANS WE'RE

  • ABOUT TO ENTER THE MAGICAL SEASON OF GETTING ANGRY THAT

  • THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TALK ABOUT CHRISTMAS.

  • JIM?

  • >> STARBUCKS IS STIRRING UP CONTROVERSY OVER ITS PLAIN RED

  • CUPS FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON.

  • >> SOME EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANS ARE VERY UPSET THAT THE COFFEE

  • GIANT IS DOING AWAY WITH SYMBOLS OF THE SEASON, LIKE THE

  • SNOWFLAKES, THE SNOWMEN, AND THE OTHER KIND OF ORNAMENTS.

  • >> Stephen: YES, THEY GOT RID OF THE CHRISTIAN RELIGIOUS SYMBOLS

  • LIKE SNOWFLAKES AND SNOWMEN.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) I MEAN, I THINK WE ALL REMEMBER

  • THE STORY OF WHEN BABY JESUS WAS VISITED BY THE THREE WISE

  • FROSTYS.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ♪ OH, JINGLE JESUS, JINGLE JESUS

  • LYING IN A MANGERHO, HO, HO, AND FRANKINCENSE

  • AND MYRRH AND PUMPKIN SPICE, HEY

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I COULD GO FOR A MYRRH LATTE.

  • THIS IS THE ONLY TIME OF YEAR THEY MAKE THEM.

  • SADLY, THE THREE WISE SNOWMEN DID NOT LAST LONG IN THE DESERT.

  • ( APPLAUSE ) AND-- AND.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE

  • CLAPPING.

  • THEY MELTED.

  • I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE CLAPPING.

  • AND I CAN SEE WHY PEOPLE MIGHT BE ALL FROTHED UP-- NOW

  • STARBUCKS IS COMPLETELY DEVOID OF ANY TRACE OF THE HOLIDAY

  • BESIDES THE CHRISTMAS TREE ORNAMENTS, ADVENT CALENDARS, CDs

  • CHRISTMAS MUSIC, CHRISTMAS-THEMED GIFT CARDS,

  • CHRISTMAS COOKIES, AND GIANT DISPLAYS OF THEIR CHRISTMAS

  • BLEND COFFEE.

  • THIS IS NICE.

  • THIS IS KIND OF COMFY.

  • I KIND OF LIKE IT IN HERE.

  • AND NOW SOME STARBUCKS CUSTOMERS ARE DISAPPOINTED THAT INSTEAD OF

  • AN ULTRA CHRISTMAS-Y CUP, THEY'RE GETTING-- THEY'RE

  • GETTING ONE OF THESE, OKAY.

  • I MEAN, LOOK, IT'S JUST RED AND GREEN, RIGHT THERE, JUST RED AND

  • GREEN.

  • WHICH COULD OBVIOUSLY REPRESENT ANYTHING-- DIFFERENT

  • KINDS OF BELL PEPPERS, TWO- THIRDS OF A STOPLIGHT, A FROG

  • THAT WAS RUN OVER BY A BUS-- ANYTHING.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) I KNOW, IT'S SAD.

  • I KNOW, IT'S SAD.

  • I AGREE!

  • BUT STARBUCKS DEFENDS THE NEW DESIGN SAYING, "STARBUCKS IS

  • INVITING OUR CUSTOMERS TO TELL THEIR CHRISTMAS STORIES IN THEIR

  • OWN WAY WITH A RED CUP THAT MIMICS A BLANK CANVAS, INVITING

  • OUR CUSTOMERS TO CREATE THEIR OWN STORIES ON OUR CUPS."

  • ONE POPULAR STORY: ONCE UPON A TIME, MY NAME IS STEPHEN.

  • WHY DOES IT SAY DAVID?

  • SO ONE ANGRY CHRISTIAN TOOK TO THE INTERNET TO VENTI HIS RAGE

  • AND OFFER A WAY TO STRIKE BACK.

  • >> DO YOU REALIZE THAT STARBUCKS WANTED TO TAKE CHRIST AND

  • CHRISTMAS OFF OF THEIR BRAND NEW CUPS?

  • THAT'S WHY THEY'RE JUST PLAIN RED.

  • IN FACT, DO YOU REALIZE THAT STARBUCKS ISN'T ALLOWED TO SAY

  • "MERRY CHRISTMAS" TO ITS CUSTOMERS?

  • WELL, I DECIDED INSTEAD OF SIMPLY BOYCOTTING, WELL, WHY

  • DON'T WE JUST START A MOVEMENT.

  • SO WHEN I WENT IN, I ASKED FOR MY COFFEE AND THEY ASKED FOR MY

  • NAME, AND I TOLD THEM MY NAME IS 'MERRY CHRISTMAS.'

  • SO GUESS WHAT, STARBUCKS?

  • I TRICKED YOU INTO PUTTING MERRY CHRISTMAS ON YOUR CUP, AND I'M

  • CHALLENGING ALL GREAT AMERICANS AND CHRISTIANS AROUND THIS GREAT

  • NATION, GO INTO STARBUCKS AND TAKE YOUR OWN COFFEE SELFIE."

  • >> Stephen: YOU KNOW, PAUL BLART MALL BRO IS RIGHT.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND BASED ON HOW FAST HE'S

  • TALKING, I'M GUESSING THAT'S NOT THE FIRST CUP OF COFFEE OF THE

  • DAY.

  • IT'S A BRILLIANT MOVE: WHAT BETTER WAY TO STICK IT TO

  • STARBUCKS THAN BY TELLING EVERYONE TO GO IN AND BUY THEIR

  • PRODUCT?

  • SCORCH.

  • AND, REMEMBER, STARBUCKS, CHRISTMAS IS THE SEASON FOR

  • GIVING...

  • IN TO ANY DEMAND ANYONE MAKES ON THE INTERNET.

  • WHICH IS WHY I SAY, DON'T FIGHT THIS.

  • GIVE THE CUSTOMERS A CUP CRAMMED SO FULL OF CHRISTMAS

  • THEY'LL BE PICKING TINSEL OUT OF THEIR YULE-LOGS FOR MONTHS.

  • SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT LIKE THIS.

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • THERE YOU GO.

  • THIS IS IT.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LOOK AT THAT.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NOW, THIS IS A CHRISTMAS CUP.

  • THAT IS A CHRISTMAS CUP, STARBUCKS.

  • IT'S GOT ORNAMENTS AND AN ENTIRE MANGER SCENE HOT GLUED TO THE

  • LID.

  • AND YOU JUST HIT THIS LITTLE BUTTON ON THE BACK.

  • ( BARKING ) OBVIOUSLY, THAT'S HANDEL'S

  • MESSIAH SUNG BY THE BARKING CHRISTMAS DOGS!

  • OKAY, THIS IS PRETTY CHRISTMAS-Y, BUT IT'S STILL

  • MISSING A LITTLE SOMETHING-- LIKE, SAY, AN ENTIRE CHRISTMAS

  • TREE!

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) MMMM.

  • MMM.

  • OH!

  • WHAT A FESTIVE WAY TO START MY DAY.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BEST PART IS, ONCE IT FALLS OFF

  • THE TOP OF THE TREE, YOU'LL BE COVERED IN BRIGHT RED CHRISTMAS

  • BURNS.

FOLKS, WE'RE JUST PAST HALLOWEEN, WHICH MEANS WE'RE

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B1 TheLateShow christmas cup applause merry christmas merry

Stephen Puts The Christ Back In C(hrist)offee

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    VoiceTube posted on 2016/07/11
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