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  • >> Jon: WELCOME BACK, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS THE FIRST MINISTER OF

  • SCOTLAND AND THE LEADER OF THE SCOTTISH NATIONAL PARTY, PLEASE

  • WELCOME FIRST MINISTER NICOLA STURGEON.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

  • >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • >> Jon: WE'RE DELIGHTED TO YOU HAVE HERE.

  • >> THANK YOU, I'M DELIGHTED TO BE HERE.

  • IT'S VERY EXCITING, IF A LITTLE SCARY.

  • YOU BILLED ME ON YOUR WEBSITE AS A COMEDIAN.

  • >> Jon: DID WE DO THAT.

  • >> SO YOU RAISED ALL THESE EXPECTATIONS I'M GOING TO BE

  • FUNNY.

  • AND I'M A POLITICIAN.

  • AS YOU KNOW, POLITICIANS ARE REALLY VERY FUNNY, SO-- .

  • >> Jon: YOU NEED NOT WORRY.

  • THEY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE FUNNY FOR 17 YEARS.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Jon: AND THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT EITHER.

  • SO I THINK YOU'RE FINE.

  • YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT.

  • >> THE GUY THAT IS TAKING OVER YOUR SHOW, WHEN YOU

  • SADLY DEPART THE SHOW, IS FIRST OF ALL COMING TO EDINBURGH

  • TO DO THE FRINGE.

  • >> Jon: THE FRIDGE FESTIVAL.

  • >> AND I JUST WANT EVERYBODY TO KNOW -- THE FRIDGE FESTIVAL.

  • >> Jon: ONE OF THE GREATEST FESTIVALS.

  • >> JON GAVE A COMMITTMENT EARLY ON BEFORE THE SHOW THAT NEXT

  • YEAR HE'S COMING TO EDINBURGH NEXT YEAR TO TAKE PART IN THE

  • FRINGE.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Jon: AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW LIKE A POLITICIAN, I WILL MOST

  • LIKELY NOT FULFILL THAT PROMISE.

  • >> I'M NOT THAT TYPE OF POLITICIAN.

  • I KEEP MY PROMISES, JON, SO I WANT YOU TO MODEL YOURSELF ON

  • ME.

  • >> Jon: THAT'S WHAT IS SO INTERESTING, HERE IS WHAT I

  • FIND SO INTERESTING.

  • SO YOU HAVE PLEDGED, AND THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS

  • WHY, FIRST OF ALL, THE SMP WON 56 OUT OF 59 SEATS OF

  • PARLIMENT, IT WAS UNPRECEDENTED.

  • SWEPT AWAY.

  • >> I'VE ALREADY WRITTEN AN INQURY ON HOW COME WE DIDN'T WIN

  • THOSE OTHER THREE.

  • >> Jon: YOU THINK ARE YOU SADDAM HUSSEIN, YOU GET 99%.

  • 56 OUT OF 59 IS PRETTY GOOD.

  • >> YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS AIM FOR MORE.

  • >> Jon: SO IT IS AN AMAZING TRIBUTE TO YOU BUT HERE IS WHERE

  • YOU LINE UP.

  • THIS IS THE PROBLEM.

  • SO YOU HAVE PLEDGED, FOR SCOTLAND, GREATER

  • SELF-DETERMINATION, MORE FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE, BUT

  • NOW AFTER THE ELECTION, THAT HAS CRASHED HEAD ON WITH THE

  • REALITY THAT WESTMINSTER STILL CONTROLS THE PURSE

  • STRINGS, STILL BELIEVES IN AUSTERITY AS RECEIPTS, CAN

  • DWINDLE FOR THE GDP OF SCOTLAND.

  • MY QUESTION TO YOU IS THIS, FIRST MINISTER.

  • WHAT IS HAGIS, WHAT IS THAT?

  • WHY --

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • WHY WOULD ANYONE --

  • >> HAGIS IS DELICIOUS.

  • YOU HAVE TASTED HAGIS?

  • >> Jon: THROUGH A HAZING, YES.

  • >> IT'S WONDERFUL, YOU KNOW, IT'S SPICY, IT'S TASTY, IT'S

  • ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS AND YOU GET VEGETARIAN HAGIS AS

  • WELL.

  • ANOTHER REASON TO COME TO EDINBURGH.

  • SCOTLAND HAS SO MUCH TO OFFER, WE'VE GOT SCOTCH

  • WHISKEY, WE'VE GOT HAGIS, WE'VE GOT GREAT SCENERY.

  • WE'VE GOT WONDERFUL CITIES, WE'VE GOT SOME GREAT COMEDIANS

  • OF OUR OWN, BUT WE CAN ALWAYS HAVE ANOTHER ONE IN THE

  • EDINGBURGH FRIDGE, SO--

  • >> Jon: I'M HAPPY TO GO THERE.

  • YOU KNOW, STOP PITCHING ME ON SCOTLAND, LET ME PITCH YOU ON

  • AMERICA.

  • >> I LOVE AMERICA.

  • >> Jon: YOU HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A JONES FOR GETTING

  • OUT OF THIS WHOLE UNITED KINGDOM.

  • WE WENT THROUGH A VERY SIMILAR PROCESS.

  • LET ME TALK YOU THROUGH IT.

  • >> YOU HAVE BEEN MORE SUCCESSFUL.

  • ALTHOUGH I DON'T THINK WE'LL TRY TO DO IT YOUR WAY.

  • >> Jon: LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THEY HATE.

  • THEY HATE WHEN YOU THROW THEIR STUFF INTO THE WATER.

  • >> THAT'S WHERE WE WENT WRONG.

  • >> Jon: YOU HAVE TRIED THAT?

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • COME AND JOIN US.

  • COME AND JOIN US.

  • WE CAN OFFER YOU A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT.

  • WHAT ARE THEY GIVING YOU.

  • U.K., WHAT IS THE HEALTH PLAN, WHAT ARE THEY THROWING

  • YOU GUYS.

  • >> THEY'RE CUTTING OUR BUDGET.

  • THEY'RE TAKING THINGS AWAY FROM US.

  • >> Jon: ARE THEY REALLY CUTTING YOUR BUDGET.

  • >> Jon: YOU HAVE SAID SCOTLAND IS OKAY WITH THAT.

  • THAT YOU CAN BECOME FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT, IS

  • THAT --

  • >> OF COURSE WE CAN BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT.

  • I GUESS IF WE CAST OUR MINDS BACK, ANY OF CAN REMEMBER IT

  • WHEN AMERICA WAS TRYING TO BECOME INDEPENDENT OF THE

  • U.K. THERE WAS ALL SORTS OF SCARY STORIES OF HOW IT WOULD

  • NEVER, EVER WORK.

  • I THINK AMERICA'S DONE OK ACTUALLY, ON BALANCE.

  • YOU HAVE BECOME QUITE A SUCCESSFUL, INDEPENDENT

  • COUNTRY.

  • SO YES, SCOTLAND COULD BE A SUCCESSFUL, PROSPEROUS,

  • DYNAMIC INDEPENDENT COUNTRY.

  • I MEAN SCOTLAND IS ALMOST INVENTED THE MODERN WORLD.

  • TELEVISIONS, TELEPHONES, PENECILIN.

  • >> Jon: LET'S NOT GET NUTS HERE.

  • >> ALL OF THESE THINGS WERE INVENTED IN SCOTLAND.

  • SO OF COURSE, WE CAN STAND ON OUR OWN TWO FEET.

  • > Jon: ANY LOOK AT WORLD HISTORY, SCOTLAND IS USUALLY

  • FIRST MENTIONED.

  • >> INDEED.

  • >> Jon: IT GOES THAT, AND THEN, YES.

  • LET ME ASK YOU THIS.

  • WHAT IS SO-- IF YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE UP THAT MONEY,

  • AS AN INDEPENDENT SCOTLAND THAT WANTS TO BE NUCLEAR

  • FREE, SO YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE AWAY THE TRIDENT, THE NUCLEAR

  • SUBS, WHERE IS THE MONEY GOING TO COME FROM?

  • >> WE'VE GOT A BRILLIANT ECONOMY SO WE ARE AN

  • OIL-PRODUCING COUNTRYMENT WE HAVE RENEWABLE ENERGY.

  • >> Jon: GO BACK TO THE FIRST ONE.

  • >> YOU'RE ABOUT TO TELL ME THAT THE OIL PRICES GOT A BIT

  • LOWER --

  • >> Jon: I'M TO THE ABOUT TO TELL YOU THAT AT ALL.

  • >> BUT WE'VE GOT RENEWABLE ENERGY.

  • WIND, WAVE, TIDAL. WE EXPORT FOOD AND DRINK.

  • >> Jon: GO BACK TO THE OIL.

  • >> YES, I WAS MOVING AWAY FROM THE OIL.

  • >> Jon: BUT YOU HAVE OIL.

  • >> YES.

  • >> Jon: MAY WE INVADE YOU?

  • >> YOU DON'T USUALLY ASK PERMISSION.

  • >> Jon: HOW MUCH CAN I SAY THIS WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO

  • THE SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE, AND THE NATIONALISTS, NOT

  • THE UNIONISTS, HOW MUCH OIL ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

  • >> NOT WORTH YOUR WHILE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

  • >> Jon: IT'S ALL WORTH OUR WHILE.

  • >> I THINK IT IS PROGRESS BECAUSE PRESUMABLY ON BEHALF

  • OF THE UNITED STATES ASKING PERMISSION TO INVADE AN

  • OIL-PRODUCING COUNTRY, DOESN'T USUALLY WORK THAT

  • WAY.

  • >> Jon: HOW DIFFICULT HAS THIS BATTLE BEEN WITH

  • NATIONALISTS AND UNIONISTS.

  • HAS IT-- IS IT A RED-BLUE DIVIDE LIKE WE HAVE HERE.

  • HAS IT GOTTEN-- I KNOW IT HAS ON TWITTER, HAVE YOU

  • THOGUHT ABOUT SECEDING TWITTER.

  • >> I THINK ABOUT SECEDING FROM TWITTER ALMOST EVERY

  • DAY.

  • >> Jon: I THINK YOU SHOULD, IT'S ROUGH TRADE.

  • BUT HOW DOES THAT GO, IS IT SIMILAR GLASGOW IS SORT

  • OF THE HUB OF THE RURAL AREAS ARE MORE UNIONISTS,

  • HOW DOES IT WORK.

  • >> GLASGOW WITH A CITY THAT VOTED YES TO INDEPENDENCE,

  • BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, WE HURTLE INSULTS AT EACH OTHER ON

  • TWITTER OCCASIONALLY BUT THE INDEPENDENT REFERENDUM WAS

  • ENTIRELY DEMOCRATIC.

  • IT WAS PEACEFUL AND IT HAD AN AMAZING LEGACY IN

  • SCOTLAND.

  • IN SCOTLAND WE'RE ACTUALLY NOW REALLY INTERESTED IN

  • POLITICS, IMAGINE THAT.

  • PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT TO VOTE IN ELECTIONS.

  • THEY WANT TO GET INVOLVED.

  • THEY WANT TO GET A POLITICIAN ON THE SPOT AND

  • MAKE SURE THAT WE ARE DELIVERING PROMISES, THAT IS

  • A FANTASTIC THING.

  • DEMOCRACY HAS REALLY BEEN STRENGTHENED BY IT.

  • >> Jon: OUR DEMOCRACY HERE IS SO STRONG THAT WE DON'T

  • EVEN NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO IT.

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS THE FIRST MINISTER OF