SCOTLAND AND THE LEADER OF THE SCOTTISH NATIONAL PARTY, PLEASE

WELCOME FIRST MINISTER NICOLA STURGEON.

(APPLAUSE)

THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>> Jon: WE'RE DELIGHTED TO YOU HAVE HERE.

>> THANK YOU, I'M DELIGHTED TO BE HERE.

IT'S VERY EXCITING, IF A LITTLE SCARY.

YOU BILLED ME ON YOUR WEBSITE AS A COMEDIAN.

>> Jon: DID WE DO THAT.

>> SO YOU RAISED ALL THESE EXPECTATIONS I'M GOING TO BE

FUNNY.

AND I'M A POLITICIAN.

AS YOU KNOW, POLITICIANS ARE REALLY VERY FUNNY, SO-- .

>> Jon: YOU NEED NOT WORRY.

THEY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE FUNNY FOR 17 YEARS.

>> YEAH.

>> Jon: AND THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT EITHER.

SO I THINK YOU'RE FINE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT.

>> THE GUY THAT IS TAKING OVER YOUR SHOW, WHEN YOU

SADLY DEPART THE SHOW, IS FIRST OF ALL COMING TO EDINBURGH

TO DO THE FRINGE.

>> Jon: THE FRIDGE FESTIVAL.

>> AND I JUST WANT EVERYBODY TO KNOW -- THE FRIDGE FESTIVAL.

>> Jon: ONE OF THE GREATEST FESTIVALS.

>> JON GAVE A COMMITTMENT EARLY ON BEFORE THE SHOW THAT NEXT

YEAR HE'S COMING TO EDINBURGH NEXT YEAR TO TAKE PART IN THE

FRINGE.

(APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW LIKE A POLITICIAN, I WILL MOST

LIKELY NOT FULFILL THAT PROMISE.

>> I'M NOT THAT TYPE OF POLITICIAN.

I KEEP MY PROMISES, JON, SO I WANT YOU TO MODEL YOURSELF ON

ME.

>> Jon: THAT'S WHAT IS SO INTERESTING, HERE IS WHAT I

FIND SO INTERESTING.

SO YOU HAVE PLEDGED, AND THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS

WHY, FIRST OF ALL, THE SMP WON 56 OUT OF 59 SEATS OF

PARLIMENT, IT WAS UNPRECEDENTED.

SWEPT AWAY.

>> I'VE ALREADY WRITTEN AN INQURY ON HOW COME WE DIDN'T WIN

THOSE OTHER THREE.

>> Jon: YOU THINK ARE YOU SADDAM HUSSEIN, YOU GET 99%.

56 OUT OF 59 IS PRETTY GOOD.

>> YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS AIM FOR MORE.

>> Jon: SO IT IS AN AMAZING TRIBUTE TO YOU BUT HERE IS WHERE

YOU LINE UP.

THIS IS THE PROBLEM.

SO YOU HAVE PLEDGED, FOR SCOTLAND, GREATER

SELF-DETERMINATION, MORE FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE, BUT

NOW AFTER THE ELECTION, THAT HAS CRASHED HEAD ON WITH THE

REALITY THAT WESTMINSTER STILL CONTROLS THE PURSE

STRINGS, STILL BELIEVES IN AUSTERITY AS RECEIPTS, CAN

DWINDLE FOR THE GDP OF SCOTLAND.

MY QUESTION TO YOU IS THIS, FIRST MINISTER.

WHAT IS HAGIS, WHAT IS THAT?

WHY --

(APPLAUSE)

WHY WOULD ANYONE --

>> HAGIS IS DELICIOUS.

YOU HAVE TASTED HAGIS?

>> Jon: THROUGH A HAZING, YES.

>> IT'S WONDERFUL, YOU KNOW, IT'S SPICY, IT'S TASTY, IT'S

ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS AND YOU GET VEGETARIAN HAGIS AS

WELL.

ANOTHER REASON TO COME TO EDINBURGH.

SCOTLAND HAS SO MUCH TO OFFER, WE'VE GOT SCOTCH

WHISKEY, WE'VE GOT HAGIS, WE'VE GOT GREAT SCENERY.

WE'VE GOT WONDERFUL CITIES, WE'VE GOT SOME GREAT COMEDIANS

OF OUR OWN, BUT WE CAN ALWAYS HAVE ANOTHER ONE IN THE

EDINGBURGH FRIDGE, SO--

>> Jon: I'M HAPPY TO GO THERE.

YOU KNOW, STOP PITCHING ME ON SCOTLAND, LET ME PITCH YOU ON

AMERICA.

>> I LOVE AMERICA.

>> Jon: YOU HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A JONES FOR GETTING

OUT OF THIS WHOLE UNITED KINGDOM.

WE WENT THROUGH A VERY SIMILAR PROCESS.

LET ME TALK YOU THROUGH IT.

>> YOU HAVE BEEN MORE SUCCESSFUL.

ALTHOUGH I DON'T THINK WE'LL TRY TO DO IT YOUR WAY.

>> Jon: LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THEY HATE.

THEY HATE WHEN YOU THROW THEIR STUFF INTO THE WATER.

>> THAT'S WHERE WE WENT WRONG.

>> Jon: YOU HAVE TRIED THAT?

(APPLAUSE)

COME AND JOIN US.

COME AND JOIN US.

WE CAN OFFER YOU A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT.

WHAT ARE THEY GIVING YOU.

U.K., WHAT IS THE HEALTH PLAN, WHAT ARE THEY THROWING

YOU GUYS.

>> THEY'RE CUTTING OUR BUDGET.

THEY'RE TAKING THINGS AWAY FROM US.

>> Jon: ARE THEY REALLY CUTTING YOUR BUDGET.

>> Jon: YOU HAVE SAID SCOTLAND IS OKAY WITH THAT.

THAT YOU CAN BECOME FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT, IS

THAT --

>> OF COURSE WE CAN BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT.

I GUESS IF WE CAST OUR MINDS BACK, ANY OF CAN REMEMBER IT

WHEN AMERICA WAS TRYING TO BECOME INDEPENDENT OF THE

U.K. THERE WAS ALL SORTS OF SCARY STORIES OF HOW IT WOULD

NEVER, EVER WORK.

I THINK AMERICA'S DONE OK ACTUALLY, ON BALANCE.

YOU HAVE BECOME QUITE A SUCCESSFUL, INDEPENDENT

COUNTRY.

SO YES, SCOTLAND COULD BE A SUCCESSFUL, PROSPEROUS,

DYNAMIC INDEPENDENT COUNTRY.

I MEAN SCOTLAND IS ALMOST INVENTED THE MODERN WORLD.

TELEVISIONS, TELEPHONES, PENECILIN.

>> Jon: LET'S NOT GET NUTS HERE.

>> ALL OF THESE THINGS WERE INVENTED IN SCOTLAND.

SO OF COURSE, WE CAN STAND ON OUR OWN TWO FEET.

> Jon: ANY LOOK AT WORLD HISTORY, SCOTLAND IS USUALLY

FIRST MENTIONED.

>> INDEED.

>> Jon: IT GOES THAT, AND THEN, YES.

LET ME ASK YOU THIS.

WHAT IS SO-- IF YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE UP THAT MONEY,

AS AN INDEPENDENT SCOTLAND THAT WANTS TO BE NUCLEAR

FREE, SO YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE AWAY THE TRIDENT, THE NUCLEAR

SUBS, WHERE IS THE MONEY GOING TO COME FROM?

>> WE'VE GOT A BRILLIANT ECONOMY SO WE ARE AN

OIL-PRODUCING COUNTRYMENT WE HAVE RENEWABLE ENERGY.

>> Jon: GO BACK TO THE FIRST ONE.

>> YOU'RE ABOUT TO TELL ME THAT THE OIL PRICES GOT A BIT

LOWER --

>> Jon: I'M TO THE ABOUT TO TELL YOU THAT AT ALL.

>> BUT WE'VE GOT RENEWABLE ENERGY.

WIND, WAVE, TIDAL. WE EXPORT FOOD AND DRINK.

>> Jon: GO BACK TO THE OIL.

>> YES, I WAS MOVING AWAY FROM THE OIL.

>> Jon: BUT YOU HAVE OIL.

>> YES.

>> Jon: MAY WE INVADE YOU?

>> YOU DON'T USUALLY ASK PERMISSION.

>> Jon: HOW MUCH CAN I SAY THIS WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO

THE SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE, AND THE NATIONALISTS, NOT

THE UNIONISTS, HOW MUCH OIL ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

>> NOT WORTH YOUR WHILE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

>> Jon: IT'S ALL WORTH OUR WHILE.

>> I THINK IT IS PROGRESS BECAUSE PRESUMABLY ON BEHALF

OF THE UNITED STATES ASKING PERMISSION TO INVADE AN

OIL-PRODUCING COUNTRY, DOESN'T USUALLY WORK THAT

WAY.

>> Jon: HOW DIFFICULT HAS THIS BATTLE BEEN WITH

NATIONALISTS AND UNIONISTS.

HAS IT-- IS IT A RED-BLUE DIVIDE LIKE WE HAVE HERE.

HAS IT GOTTEN-- I KNOW IT HAS ON TWITTER, HAVE YOU

THOGUHT ABOUT SECEDING TWITTER.

>> I THINK ABOUT SECEDING FROM TWITTER ALMOST EVERY

DAY.

>> Jon: I THINK YOU SHOULD, IT'S ROUGH TRADE.

BUT HOW DOES THAT GO, IS IT SIMILAR GLASGOW IS SORT

OF THE HUB OF THE RURAL AREAS ARE MORE UNIONISTS,

HOW DOES IT WORK.

>> GLASGOW WITH A CITY THAT VOTED YES TO INDEPENDENCE,

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, WE HURTLE INSULTS AT EACH OTHER ON

TWITTER OCCASIONALLY BUT THE INDEPENDENT REFERENDUM WAS

ENTIRELY DEMOCRATIC.

IT WAS PEACEFUL AND IT HAD AN AMAZING LEGACY IN

SCOTLAND.

IN SCOTLAND WE'RE ACTUALLY NOW REALLY INTERESTED IN

POLITICS, IMAGINE THAT.

PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT TO VOTE IN ELECTIONS.

THEY WANT TO GET INVOLVED.

THEY WANT TO GET A POLITICIAN ON THE SPOT AND

MAKE SURE THAT WE ARE DELIVERING PROMISES, THAT IS

A FANTASTIC THING.

DEMOCRACY HAS REALLY BEEN STRENGTHENED BY IT.

>> Jon: OUR DEMOCRACY HERE IS SO STRONG THAT WE DON'T

EVEN NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO IT.