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  • >> Paul: HO!

  • >> Dave: YOU KNOW, THE BIG

  • BLOCKBUSTER OF THE SUMMER OPENED

  • UP, "WAR OF THE WORLDS".

  • HOW MANY GOT A CHANCE TO SEE

  • "WAR OF THE WORLDS".

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: YOU HAD HUH?

  • YOU SAW "WAR OF THE WORLDS" AND

  • THEN YOU WENT OVER TO DOC'S

  • HOUSE.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> WELL, IN THE MOVIE, YOU KNOW

  • WHAT THE MOVIE IS THE "WAR OF

  • THE WORLDS", THE ALIENS ATTACK

  • NEW JERSEY.

  • THEY ATTACK NEW JERSEY.

  • ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY THEY FIRST

  • LANDED IN MANHATTAN AND WERE

  • DRIVEN OUT BY THE PRICES. YOU'VE

  • SEEN THE TOYS THAT THIS WOMAN

  • HAS.

  • >> Paul: OKAY.

  • >> Dave: NOW I DON'T KNOW WHY WE

  • DIDN'T DO THIS YEARS AGO.

  • WE COULDN'T DO THIS SHOW NIGHT

  • IN AND NIGHT OUT WITHOUT THE

  • YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE

  • PAGES AT CBS.

  • >> Paul: OH YES.

  • >> Dave: THEY COME TO WORK EARLY

  • AND THEY HAVE TO PUT ON THOSE

  • POLYESTER THINGS AND THEY HELP

  • PEOPLE, THEY ARE FRIENDLY.

  • THEY ARE LIKE TOUR GUIDES, LIKE

  • PARK RANGERS, LIKE RED CROSS,

  • THEY ARE PUBLIC SERVICE, THEY

  • ARE EDUCATIONAL, INFOTAKENABLE.

  • >> THEY HELP.

  • >> Dave: THEY ARE AN INTEGRAL

  • PART OF THIS PRODUCTION SO

  • TONIGHT, IT WAS CALLED TO MY

  • ATTENTION.

  • WE HAVE A GENTLEMAN WHO IS A

  • PAGE AND HE HAS BEEN A PAGE HERE

  • AT CBS FOR 37 YEARS.

  • >> WOW!

  • NO KIDDING?

  • >> DID YOU KNOW THAT?

  • >> I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A

  • PAGE FOR THAT LONG.

  • >> Dave: A PAGE FOR 37 YEARS.

  • I THOUGHT IT WAS A COUPLE OF

  • YEARS BUT THIS MAN HAS MADE A

  • CAREER OF IT.

  • I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO

  • BRING HIM OUT TONIGHT.

  • PLEASE WELCOME OUR GOOD FRIEND

  • JOHNNY, THE OLDEST, THE OLDEST

  • CBS PAGE, JOHNNY, WHERE ARE YOU?

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: NICE TO SEE YOU,

  • JOHNNIE.

  • TAKE A BOW.

  • THAT A BOY.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: JOHNNY, THANK YOU VERY

  • MUCH.

  • I KNOW YOU HAVE A BUSY SCHEDULE.

  • THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE

  • TIME TO BE WITH US HERE TONIGHT.

  • HOW ARE YOU, BY THE WAY?

  • >> LIVING A DREAM, DAVE.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> LIVING A FRIGGIN DREAM.

  • >> Paul: WHOA, HEY.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: WAIT A MINUTE.

  • >> Dave: THAT'S JOHNNY.

  • >> Paul: WHO IS THIS GUY?

  • >> I DON'T THINK ARE YOU ALLOWED

  • TO SMOKE IN THE THEATRE.

  • I'M SORRY.

  • >> FINE, CALL A COP!

  • >> Dave: DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE --

  • I DIDN'T HEAR WHAT HE SAID.

  • >> Paul: I DON'T KNOW.

  • >> Dave: TELL US ABOUT YOUR LIFE

  • T SOUNDS GLAMOUROUS, DO YOU

  • ENJOY BEING A PAGE?

  • >> OH YEAH, YEAH, I LIKE BEING A

  • PAGE.

  • AND I LIKE HAVING HOT COAL

  • PACKED UP MY --

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

  • AND MAYBE IT'S JUST ME BUT YOU

  • SOUND JUST A LITTLE -- A LITTLE

  • BITER.

  • HAVE YOU DONE OTHER THINGS, I

  • MEAN BEFORE YOU WERE A PAGE OR

  • TRIED OTHER JOBS OR ANYTHING?

  • >> YEAH, WELL, '94 MY COUSIN AND

  • I WE STARTED A ROOFING BUSINESS.

  • >> Dave: ROOFING BUSINESS, THAT

  • SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN.

  • >> OH YEAH T WAS PARADISE UNTIL

  • ONE OF THE ILLEGALS FELL OFF A

  • LADDER AND DISLOCATED HIS ELBOW.

  • NEXT THING YOU KNOW IMMIGRATION

  • POKING AROUND AND -- EVERYTHING

  • GOES -- UP.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: REALLY?

  • I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

  • WOW!, SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

  • DID YOU HEAR THAT, PAUL?

  • >> YEAH, I HEARD WHAT HE SAID,

  • YEAH.

  • >> Dave: YEAH.

  • ALL RIGHT, WELL LET'S FORGET

  • ABOUT THE ROOFING BUSINESS.

  • I THINK WHAT PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW

  • WHAT IS YOUR JOB HERE AS A CBS

  • PAGE.

  • WHAT DO YOU DO?

  • WHAT ARE YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES?

  • >> YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I DO.

  • I'M THE GUY THAT TELLS THIS

  • CROWD THEY CANNOT QUELL"

  • LETTERMAN SUCKS "NO, LETTERMAN

  • DOES NOT SUC.

  • >> YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS T IS

  • ANOTHER ROCKING HOLIDAY WEEKEND,

  • COMING, DAVE, ALL RIGHT, HIT IT

  • LINDA.

  • TELL ME WHEN WILL YOU BE

  • MINE

  • TELL ME QUONDOQUONDO

  • WE CAN SHARE YOUR LOVE --

  • >> DROP BY BEN I BEGANS IN ROUTE

  • 76 FOR JOHNNY FIRECRACKER'S

  • FOURTH OF JULY PARTY.

  • CHECK IT OUT.

  • LADIES DRINK FREE!

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • TELL ME WHEN WILL YOU BE BY

  • ♪.

  • >> Dave: JOHNNY, THE OLDEST CBS

  • PAGE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: WOW!.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: SORRY TO HEAR THAT

  • ABOUT THE ROOFING BUSINESS THEY

  • HAD.

  • >> Paul: IT WENT -- UP,

  • APPARENTLY.

  • >> Dave: APPARENTLY.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: DON'T YOU HATE WHEN

  • THAT HAPPENS?

  • ACTUALLY, DOESN'T HAPPEN OFTEN

  • ENOUGH IN MY LIFE.

  • AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

  • IT'S TIME FOR THE LATE SHOW WEEK

  • IN REVIEW.

  • LADIES AND GENT

  • LATE SHOW WEEK IN REVIEW ♪♪

  • HERE'S DAVE!

  • >> Dave: ALL RIGHT.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: THIS, OF COURSE, AS YOU

  • KNOW IS THE FIRST FULL WEEK OF

  • SUMMER AND I THOUGHT I HAD ALL

  • THE BASIC PROVISION I NEEDED FOR

  • THE SUMMER SEASON UNTIL I SAW

  • THIS VALUABLE REMINDER ON

  • TELEVISION.

  • TAKE A LOOK.

  • >> SUMMERTIME IS FINALLY HERE.

  • BUT BEFORE YOU PUT ON YOUR

  • SUMMER WHITES, REMEMBER TO PICK

  • UP A BOTTLE OF SPRAY 'N WASH.

  • NEW AND IMPROVED SPRAY 'N WASH

  • WILL MAKE EVEN THE MOST STUBBORN

  • STAINS DISAPPEAR.

  • WHETHER YOU'VE BEEN WORKING IN

  • THE GARDEN, PLAYING ON THE LAWN,

  • OR JUST EATING DORRITOES IN YOUR

  • UNDERPANTS, SPRAY 'N WASH, YOUR.

  • >> IS GOOD NEWS.

  • >> Dave: YEAH.

  • THIS WEEK THE SENATE BEGAN

  • CONSIDERING A CONSTITUTIONAL

  • AMENDMENT TO BAN FLAG BURNING.

  • HERE NOW WITH A COMMENTARY IS

  • OUR OWN ANNOUNCER ALAN,.

  • >> THANK YOU, DAVE.

  • OUR FLAG HAS A PROUD HISTORY

  • DATING BACK TO ITS CREATION IN

  • 1776.

  • IT DESERVES THE RESPECT THAT WE

  • WOULD AFFORD THE NOBLE

  • PRINCIPLESES THAT GUIDE OUR

  • GREAT NATION.

  • WE MUST REMEMBER THAT THE FLAG

  • IS A SYMBOL OF THE FREEDOMS WE

  • HOLD DEAR.

  • INCLUDING THE FREEDOM TO DISSENT

  • EVEN TO THE POINT THAT DEFACING

  • THAT SYMBOL.

  • SAY NO TO THE CONSTITUTIONAL

  • AMENDMENT.

  • >> Dave: THANK YOU VERY MUCH,

  • ALAN.

  • >> THANK YOU, DAVE.

  • >> Dave: NICELY PUT.

  • THAT'S NICE.

  • ALAN.

  • AND BY THE WAY, AN EXTRA TIP OF

  • THE HAT, I BELIEVE ARE YOU

  • DRESSED AS THE CREATOR OF THE

  • FLAG, BETSY ROSS.

  • >> DAVE, DAVE, NO, MY DRY

  • CLEANER SCREWED UP AND I'M GOING

  • TO SUE THEIR NUTS OFF.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: ALL RIGHT THEN.

  • >> Dave: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

  • NOW THAT THE FOURTH OF JULY HAS

  • RIFED, TAKE A LOOK AT SOME.

  • BEST NEW TOYS AVAILABLE FOR KIDS

  • THIS SUMMER.

  • HERE TO HELP US IS OUR TOY

  • EXPERT SHANNON ICE, ALWAYS A

  • PLEASURE, SHANNON.

  • GOOD TO SEE YOU.

  • >> YOU AS WELL.

  • >> Dave: HOW IS YOUR SUMMER

  • GOING.

  • >> FABULOUS, VERY HOT.

  • >> Dave: WHAT WE KNOW FROM

  • PREVIOUS VISIT, THAT THE TOY

  • INDUSTRY SAY MULTIBILLION-DOLLAR

  • BUSINESS, ISN'T IT.

  • >> CORRECT.

  • >> Dave: WHAT DO WE HAVE IN.

  • >> WE WILL START HERE WITH THE

  • NERF BLASTER, DO YOU WANT TO

  • WEAR PROTECTIVE GOGGLES.

  • >> I HAVE MY OWN PROTECTIVE

  • GOGGLES ON.

  • >> YOU DO HAVE TO DO THE VEST F

  • YOU CAN DO THE VEST, POP IT

  • RIGHT OVER THERE.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: THAT WILL WORK.

  • >> PERFECT.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: I'M HAVING A LITTLE

  • TROUBLE BREATHING, THE CAROTID

  • ARTERY DOESN'T SEEM TO BE

  • WORKING.

  • >> I WILL GIVE YOU YOUR OWN

  • BLASTER.

  • LET ME SHOW YOU, EVERY TIME YOU

  • WANT TO SHOOT GIVE IT A QUICK

  • PUMP AND BASICALLY IT WILL STICK

  • TO YOUR VEST OR MY VEST.

  • >> SORRY, MA'AM.

  • >> DO YOU NEED SOME HELP.

  • >> Dave: NO, I'M FINE, SHANNON.

  • YOU'VE DONE PLENTY ALREADY

  • TONIGHT.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • >> ALL RIGHT.

  • >> Dave: WHY DOESN'T MINE WORK.

  • >> THERE YOU GO.

  • >> Dave: BUT THEN LOOK, IT JUST

  • COMES DOWN TO THIS.

  • >> IT'S ALL ABOUT TIMING I

  • THINK.

  • >> Dave: LIKE MY HONEYMOON.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> OKAY,.

  • >> Dave: WHAT DO THOSE THINGS

  • COST, THE NERF ITEMS.

  • >> 39.99.

  • >> Dave: 40 BUCKS!

  • 40 BUCKS!

  • >> YES, YES AND THE GOGGLES.

  • >> ALL RIGHT, FINE, SURE.

  • THE GOGGLES, THE KIDS CAN USE

  • THE GOGGLES IN EVERY OTHER WALK

  • OF LIFE.

  • >> CORRECT.

  • >> Dave: .

  • >> SO THIS IS GOE YOUR

  • PERSONAL SLURPEE MAKE ENGINEER

  • SLURPEES ARE VERY POPULAR.

  • >> WE GIVE IT A QUICK SPIN.

  • >> Dave: DO WE NEED GOGGLES FOR

  • THAT.

  • >> HOPEFULLY NOT.

  • >> Dave: HOW ABOUT A SPECIAL

  • VEST.

  • >> SO I'M GOING TO GIVE IT A

  • QUICK PULL.

  • >> Dave: AND THIS KIDS WHO LIKE

  • THE LITTLE LEMONADE STAND CAN

  • HAVE A SLURPEE STAND S THAT

  • RIGHT?

  • >> CORRECT.

  • AND THEN SO YEAH, THAT'S --

  • >> THAT WILL BE COOL AROUND

  • LAIRB DAY, YOU THINK.

  • >> THAT THAT'S PLENTY OF KNOW

  • MOORE, SHANNON, I COULDN'T

  • PROBABLY DRIMING ALL THAT.

  • >> I THINK WE'RE HAVING A

  • FREEZING SITUATION, SORRY ABOUT

  • THAT.

  • >> Dave: BUT AGAIN, HOW MUCH IS

  • THAT ITEM.

  • >> THIS RUNS FOR 19.99.

  • >> Dave: AND WORTH EVERY PENNY.

  • >> YUP.

  • >> Dave: YOU GO DOWN TO ITS

  • 7-ELEVEN FOR THAT KIND OF DOUGH

  • AND BUY SLURPEES FOR LIFE.

  • >> THIS IS SUPERSOAKER.

  • >> Dave: A GUY, A FELLOW

  • INVENTED THIS YEARS AGO AND JUST

  • BECAUSE HE WANTED A BETTER

  • SQUIRT GUN AND NOW.

  • >> THIS IS EVEN BETTER, A FLU

  • FLASH FLOOD, DO THE FIRST

  • VERSION, YOU PULL THAT WHEN ARE

  • YOU READY.

  • >> Dave: WOW!.

  • >> GIVE IT A QUICK PUMP.

  • >>

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • >> NOW WILL YOU PULL THIS BACK

  • AND IT'S GOING TO GO.

  • >> WHOA.

  • >> GIVE IT ANOTHER PUMP

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: YOU KNOW, THIS RIGHT

  • HERE WOULD BE A NICE TOY.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: WOW!.

  • >> OR YOU CAN DO --

  • >> THAT IS TREMENDOUS WHAT DOES

  • THIS ITEM COST.

  • >> Dave: OH, WOW!, THE OLD SUPER

  • SOAKER, HOLDS HOW MANY GALLONS

  • OF WATER THERE.

  • >> NOT QUITE GAL -- GALLONS.

  • >> Dave: KIDS LOVE THIS.

  • >> THEY DO THEY LOVE T.

  • >> Dave: AND HOW MUCH IS THAT.

  • >> THIS IS 29.99.

  • >> Dave: 29.99 BUT YOU KNOW,

  • AGAIN, IF YOU GOT A HOSE AND

  • SPIGOT, JUST HOOKUP THE HOSE.

  • >> NOT QUITE AS PORTABLE.

  • >> Dave: MOM AND DAD'S WATER

  • BILL GOES SKY-HIGH.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> WE'RE GOING TO JUMP AROUND

  • FRONT HERE.

  • >> Dave: OKAY.

  • >> WE'RE GOING TO, SO FIRST

  • WE'RE GOING TO HE IS A REMOTE

  • CONTROL SKATEBOARD.

  • >> Dave: IS THIS GUY WITH YOU,

  • BY THE WAY SHANNON.

  • A MAN LYING ON THE FLOOR.

  • >> SO I'M GOING TO TURN THIS ON.

  • DO YOU WANT TO GO FOR A WHIRL.

  • >> Dave: I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T

  • WANT TO GET HURT.

  • >> LET ME GET YOU A HELMET TOO.

  • SO THIS PULL BACK IS GOING TO BE

  • TO GO FORWARD AND TO PUSH

  • FORWARD IS TO STOP.

  • >> Dave: DO I HAVE TO BE ON THE

  • THING TO LET IT GO.

  • >> NO, BUT IT'S MORE --

  • >> DO WANT TO BE ON IT.

  • >> Dave: WAIT A MINUTE, I WILL

  • GET IT.

  • COME BACK HERE.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: TAKE MY BOARD FOR A

  • WALK, THANKS, EDDIE.

  • NOW I'M COMING OVER THERE.

  • >> DO YOU WANT THE HELMET.

  • >> Dave: IS THERE A HIGH

  • COEFFICIENT OF DANGER.

  • >> HOW SKATEBOARD SAVVY ARE YOU.

  • >> Dave: I'M NOT SKATEBOARD

  • SAVVY.

  • >> YEAH, THEN YOU SHOULD TAKE

  • IT.

  • >> Dave: OKAY.

  • >> GOT IT.

  • >> JUST HOLD THE HELMET.

  • >> Dave: YOU KNOW T WOULD BE A

  • LOT EASIER IF IT WASN'T REMOTE

  • CONTROLLED.

  • >> RIGHT.

  • THERE YOU GO.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: WHOO!

  • I COULD GO FOR A SLURPEE NOW.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: WHAT ELSE ARE WE DOING

  • HERE.

  • WHAT ABOUT THE AIRPLANES.

  • >> WE'RE GOING TO GET TO THEM.

  • I WILL SHOW NEW REAL QUICK.

  • WE THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE THIS.

  • >> Dave: NOW THIS IS LIKE A --

  • THIS IS SEVERAL HUNDRED DOLLARS,

  • ISN'T IT.

  • >> THIS IS $600.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: NOW $600, IT'S TOO

  • EXPENSIVE FOR A TOY.

  • I MEAN A KID SHOULD NOT HAVE A

  • $600 TOY.

  • >> ONE OF THOSE FAO EXCLUSIVES.

  • >> I DON'T CARE.

  • NOW YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER, ONE DAY

  • YOU THINK OH I WILL LAY DOWN SIX

  • PIGS FOR MY DAUGHTER TO HAVE A

  • GO-CART.

  • >> NO.

  • >> Dave: PAUL, WOULD YOU BUY ANY

  • MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY A $600

  • GO-CART.

  • >> Paul: MY KIDS ARE A LITTLE

  • SPOILED.

  • >> Dave: SO YOU WOULD DO THIS.

  • >> Paul: THIS IS THE KIND OF

  • THING I WOULD -- YEAH.

  • >> Dave: THAT'S NOT RIGHT.

  • >> Paul: YOU SHOULD SEE MY

  • GARAGE.

  • >> FOR THAT KIND OF GO DOUGH GO

  • TO AVIS AND RENT HIM A CAR FOR

  • THE WEEKEND.

  • >> I WILL SHOW YOU A QUICK SPIN,

  • IT GOES UP TO $18 MILES AN HOUR

  • FOR KIDS EIGHT --

  • >> CAN I GET ON WITH YOU.

  • >> DO YOU WANT TO GET ON?

  • >> LET'S BOTH GET ON.

  • CAN WE BOTH GET IN THERE.

  • >> YOU GO FIRST.

  • >> OH, GEEZ, AND WHO MAKES THIS?

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> ARE YOU ON.

  • >> Dave: I GUESS I AM ON.

  • >> THAT IS THE GAS, FORWARD.

  • LET ME GET THIS OUT OF YOUR WAY.

  • >> Dave: WELL, IT'S NOT -- I

  • CAN'T -- MAYBE I BET REMEMBER

  • HAVE THE HELMET.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE

  • GOING.

  • WHAT HAVE I DONE HERE.

  • OF COURSE IF YOU WANT IT TO MOVE

  • YOU HAVE TO BUY THE $800

  • GO-CART.

  • GO.

  • HERE WE ARE.

  • >> MAYBE THE BRAKE WORKS, TRY

  • THE BRAKE.

  • >> Dave: WHY WOULD I POSSIBLY

  • NEED THE BRAKE.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • THE BRAKE SEEMS TO BE

  • FUNCTIONING.

  • I HAVE NEVER FELT SUCH STOPPING

  • POWER.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: NOW WOULD YOU SAY $600

  • FOR THAT.

  • >> NOT FOR THAT, NO.

  • BUT I HAVE THREE.

  • >> Dave: WHAT IF WE USE THIS?

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Paul: OH THERE IT GOES.

  • >> THESE WILL WORK.

  • SO WE'RE GOING -- WE'RE GOING TO

  • TAKE YOURS.

  • >> HALF THROTTLE FOR TEN

  • SECONDS.

  • >> OH, THESE ARE GREAT.

  • THESE ARE NOT TOO EXPENSIVE.

  • >> THESE ARE $16 FOR AGES EIGHT

  • AND UP.

  • SO JUST WHEN ARE YOU READY TO GO

  • JUST GIVE IT FULL THROTTLE.

  • >> LET ME GIVE YOU THAT ONE INTO

  • THAT IS NICE.

  • OH, WHOA!

  • HOW ABOUT THAT.

  • THIS IS TREMENDOUS.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • INTO THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT.

  • THESE ARE A LOT OF FUN.

  • OKAY, READY?

  • ONE MORE.

  • >> ONE MORE.

  • >> Dave: WHO MAKES THESE THESE

  • DEALS.

  • >> THESE ARE MADE -- SORRY, BY

  • KID GALAXY AND WE GOT THESE AT

  • KAZOO TOYS.COM.

  • >> Dave: OH, SORRY.

  • >> SORRY.

  • >> Dave: LISTEN, THANK YOU VERY

  • MUCH, SHANNON, HAVE A LOVELY

  • SUMMER.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • SHANNON ICE.

  • >> Dave: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

  • WITH

  • >> THANK YOU SO MUCH, GREAT TO

  • BE HERE HERE.

  • >> Dave: HOW IS YOUR SUMMER.

  • >> PHENOMENAL, REALLY GREAT.

  • SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME

  • WHEN I COME TO NEW YORK.

  • >> Dave: IS THAT RIGHT?

  • >> INEVITABLE.

  • I GET IN LAST NIGHT WITH MY

  • FAMILY.

  • I GET INTO BED.

  • YOU OWE TRYING TO GET A GOOD

  • NIGHT'S SLEEP, WANTING TO BE

  • FRESH FOR YOU.

  • >> I APPRECIATE THAT.

  • >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YEAH.

  • SO GETTING IN BED, AND I AM

  • HEARING THIS BANGING AND

  • CRASHING AND STUFF GOING ON.

  • >> Dave: OH MY GOD.

  • >> AND I THINK OH MY GOD,

  • MICHELLE, SOMEONE IS BREAKING

  • INTO THE ROOM.

  • >> Dave: RIGHT, SURE.

  • >> SO I GET OUT OF BED AND I'M

  • LOOKING ALL OVER THE PLACE.

  • AND I FINALLY TRACK IT DOWN TO

  • MY KID'S ROOMS.

  • >> OOH.

  • >> RIGHT.

  • SO I OPEN THE DOOR AND IT MY

  • DAUGHTER, MY SIX-YEAR-OLD

  • DAUGHTER ODESSA AND SHE HAS

  • MY -- IN HER HANDS AND SHE IS

  • PRESSING THE BUTTON IN HER SLEEP

  • AND IT'S GOING IT'S CLOBBER

  • COLLAB ARING TIME OVER AN OVER

  • AGAIN.

  • THAT'S NOT ENOUGH, I GO BACK TO

  • SLEEP, FINALLY AT 3:00 IN THE

  • MORNING I'M TRYING TO FALL

  • ASLEEP AND AGAIN BANG, BANG.

  • LIKE THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE.

  • THE THING IS RIGHT THERE NEXT TO

  • MY BED.

  • YOU KNOW, IT'S GOT TO BE.

  • I MUST TELL YOU, DAVE, I SLEEP

  • AWE NATURAL.

  • >> Dave: OH, THANK YOU.

  • >> WELL, YOU KNOW, THERE IS A

  • POINT TO THAT.

  • IN THAT I GET OUT OF BED AGAIN

  • AND I'M LOOKING FOR MY BASEBALL

  • BAT AND IT'S NOT HERE BECAUSE

  • I'M NOT AT HOME.

  • AND I GO TO THE WINDOWS AND I --

  • IT'S OUTSIDE AND I AM'S ON THE

  • 50th FLOOR OF THIS PLACE.

  • SO I THROW OPEN THE CURTAINS,

  • AND THERE IS A WINDOW WASHER

  • STANDING IT THERE AND I'M

  • LIKE --

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> AND COY HAVE SWORN I SAW THE

  • GUY SAY TO THE OTHER GUY, I SAW

  • THE THING.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> I'M ALWAYS HAVING THINGS LIKE

  • THAT IN NEW YORK.

  • >> Dave: I'M ALWAYS TRAVELING

  • WITH MY BASEBALL BAT F YOU KNOW

  • WHAT I MEAN. AND

  • SAYING MAMMY IF I WAS JUST ON

  • FIRE.

  • >> Dave: LET'S TALK ABOUT THE

  • FILM, OPENS JULY 8TH "FANTASTIC

  • FOUR"

  • RUN IT DOWN FOR US.

  • >> JOHNNY STORM.

  • >> Dave: THE THING.

  • >> THE THING, OF COURSE.

  • >> Dave: WHAT IS THE DEAL ON THE

  • THING, WHAT IS HIS GIG.

  • >> BIG ORANGE ROCK GUY, ROCK

  • HARD HE-MAN.

  • >> Dave: SUPERPOWERS.

  • >> STRENGTH, INTENSE STRENGTH.

  • >> Dave: UNBELIEVABLE STRENGTH.

  • >> AND HE IS A CURMUDGEON.

  • >> Dave: THAT IS THE THING.

  • >> THEN Mr. FANTASTIC WHO CAN

  • ELONGATE ANY PART OF HIS BODY.

  • >> Dave: LOOKOUT 14R578

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> IN WHATEVER WAY.

  • >> Dave: REALLY?

  • THERE IS YOUR MOVIE, NO OFFENCE

  • BUT --

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> DON'T FORGET, DON'T FORGET

  • THE INVISIBLE WOMAN.

  • >> Dave: THE INVISIBLE WOMAN

  • >> PLAYED BY JESSICA ALBA.

  • >> Dave: SHE'S LOVELY.

  • >> YES, SHE CAN TURN HERSELF

  • INVISIBLE, WHICH I DON'T HAVE

  • ANY IDEA WHY YOU WOULD WANT TO

  • DO THAT.

  • BUT SHE CAN.

  • AND E ALSO CAN LAUNCH A FORCE

  • FIELD.

  • AND THEN THERE IS ALSO JOHNNY

  • STORM WHO CAN BURST INTO FLAMES.

  • >> Dave: YES.

  • >> WHICH SOME OF MY FRIENDS FROM

  • THE VILLAGE CAN DO TOO.

  • >> Dave: NOW THAT BURSTING INTO

  • FLAMES, THAT'S COOL AND ALL, BUT

  • I'M TELLING YOU, I GOT TO PUT MY

  • MONEY ON Mr. FANTASTIC

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: ARE YOU READY, BIFF?

  • ALL RIGHT, COME ON OUT.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: YOU'LL BE FINE.

  • COME ON.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: HERE YOU GO.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: YOU OKAY, BUDDY?

  • NEED A HAND GETTING OUT OF

  • THERE?

  • PUT IT IN REVERSE.

  • YOU CAN JUST BACK IT ON OUT?

  • YEAH, THERE YOU GO.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: PERFECT.

  • TURN IT AROUND.

  • NOW FORWARD K YOU HIT FORWARD?

  • I WOULDN'T EITHER -- AND NOW

  • JUST CALL THE AAA.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • INTO TIME TO PLAYWILL IT

  • FLOAT?

  • ♪ ♪ WILL IT FLOAT

  • WILL IT FLOAT?

  • WILL IT FLOAT?

  • WILL IT FLOAT?

  • ♪.

  • >> Dave: NOW HERE IS THE PERFECT

  • TOY TORE THE KIDS FOR THE CUMMER

  • THE WILL IT FLOAT HOME GAME.

  • EVERYTHING IN ONE BOX.

  • YOU CAN HAVE JUST AS MUCH FUN AT

  • HOME AS WE HAVE EVERY FRIDAY

  • NIGHT IN THE THEATRE AND IT ONLY

  • COSTS YOU 1995.

  • WHAT IS THE ITEM WE GOING TO

  • FLOAT OR SINK.

  • >> DAVE T IS A 10.8 OUNCE BOTTLE

  • OF HAWAIIAN TROPIC SUNTAN

  • LOTION.

  • >> Dave: 10, 11 OUNCES OF SUN

  • LOTION IN A PLASTIC SQUEEZE

  • BOTTLE.

  • >> PLASTIC SQUEEZE BOTEL.

  • >> I HAVE BEEN BURNED TOO MANY

  • TIMES BY THESE PLASTIC BOTTLES.

  • I SAY IT WILL FLOAT.

  • >> Paul: OF COURSE IT WILL

  • FLOAT.

  • >> Dave: IT IS GOING TO FLOAT.

  • WHAT ARE WE PLAYING FOR.

  • >> WE ARE PLAYING FOR A

  • BRAND-NEW PATIO NUN TURE SET.

  • BACK TO YOU, DAVE!

  • >> Dave: LIKE TO HAVE ONE OF

  • THAT.

  • BE NICE THIS TIME OF YEAR.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Paul: I NEED --

  • >> I SAY IT WILL FLOAT WHAT DO

  • YOU SAY.

  • >> Paul: ALSO FLOAT.

  • >> Dave: LET'S PLAY WILL IT

  • FLOAT, HERE WE GO, LADIES AND

  • GENTLEMEN.

  • HOW ARE YOU.

  • THANK YOU.

  • ANY TIME, GIRLS.

  • ANY TIME.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • SEE YOU GIRLS LATER.

  • THE BIG WILL IT FLOAT PARTY.

  • WILL IT FLOAT?

  • WILL IT FLOAT?

  • WILL IT FLOAT?

  • WILL IT FLOAT?

  • WILL IT FLOAT?

  • ♪.

  • >> Dave: YEAH.

  • YEAH.

  • >> Paul: ENJOYED THAT.

  • >> Dave: LET'S SEE IF THE

  • GO-CART FLOATS.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • Captioned by

  • Media Access Group at WGBH

  • access.wgbh.org

  • >> WELL, THERE YOU GO.

  • MY THANKS TO GARY MULE DEER,

  • MICHAEL CHIKLIS AND SHANNON ICE

  • WITH THE LOVELY TOYS OF SUMMER.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> AND ALSO JOHNNY DARK, THE CBS

  • OLDEST PAGE.

  • NOW OF COURSE MONDAY IS THE

  • HOLIDAY S THAT RIGHT?

  • JULY 4TH.

  • SO HAPPY JULY FOURTH, EVERYBODY.

  • MARTIN SHORT WILL BE HERE AND

  • ALICIA, THAT'S THE SHOW.

  • THANKS FOR WATCHING.

  • GOOD NIGHT, EVER

>> Paul: HO!

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