Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles >> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW"! MY NAME IS JON STEWART! GOOD SHOW! MY GUEST TONIGHT, AUTHOR JENNY NORDBERG, SHE IS THE AUTHOR OF A BOOK CALLED "THE UNDERGROUND GIRLS OF KABUL." SHE WILL BE JOINING US A LITTLE BIT LATER. BUT FIRST, NEW YORK CITY HOSTED THE BIGGEST CLIMATE CHANGE MARCH IN HISTORY YESTERDAY FEATURING THE BIGGEST HAT AND THE BIGGEST SIGN AND THE BIGGEST KINDEST PUPPET LIBRARIAN AND THE BIGGEST PAIN IN THE ASS TO GET ACROSS THE STREET JUST TO GET TO CHIPOTLE. >> THERE WERE BOLD FACED NAMES. FORMER VICE PRESIDENT AL GORE, MAYOR BILL DeBLASIO, AND U.N. SECRETARY GENERAL BAN KI-MOON. >> Jon: WHOA! WHOA! STOP THE PARADE! BAN KI-MOON? THE BIGGEST CLIMATE CHANGE IN HISTORY. WHAT DID YOU COME STRAIGHT FROM YOUR AUDITION FROM "YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN"? LOOK AT YOU! YOU'RE WEARING YOUR CAMP CLOTHES? YOU'RE BAN KI-MOON! YOU'RE THE HEAD OF THE U.N. BY THE WAY, WHAT A GET FOR U.N. RADIO. U.N. RADIO GETTING BAN KI-MOON. NO, NO, I CAN'T TALK TO YOU. OH! HELLO. (LAUGHTER) OF COURSE, POLITICIAN WEREN'T THE ONLY BIG SHOTS ON HAND. THERE WERE A-LIST MOVIE STARS LIKE MARK RUFFALO AND EDWARD NORTON, BOTH HAVE BECOME ACUTELY AWARE OF ENVIRONMENTAL DANGERS SINCE THEIR ENCOUNTERS WITH GAMMA RADIATION. THEY REALLY HAD... (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE) >> Jon: WITH THAT SIZE IN STAR POWER, YOU KNOW CABLE NEWS GAVE IT EVERYTHING THEY HAVE. >> ALISON KOSIK IS IN NEW YORK. DESCRIBE THE SCENE FOR US EARLIER. >> EARLIER? IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING AS WE SPEAK. (LAUGHTER) >> Jon: PERHAPS IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. PERHAPS YOU CAN TELL BY THE FACT THAT NOBODY CAN SEE ME IN MY OWN NEWS REPORT. COME ON, CNN! THIS IS CROWD FOOTAGE 101! YOU PUT THE REPORTER IN FRONT OF THE CROWD! MSNBC, SHOW THEM HOW IT'S DONE. >> LET'S HEAD THERE NOW. WE HAVE NED RESNIKOFF WHO'S STAND BY -- >> Jon: [BLEEP]! OH, JESUS! NOT THAT FAR! COME ON! (LAUGHTER) KILL THE FEED! GOT A GIANT METEOR APPROACHING THE PARADE! AHHH! (LAUGHTER) WITH YESTERDAY'S SOUP IN HIS STASH! (LAUGHTER) ALL RIGHT, NOW YOU MAY BE THINKING, DO WE REALLY NEED A MARCH TO RAISE AWARENESS ABOUT GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE? I MEAN, IT'S AN ACCEPTED SCIENTIFIC PHENOMENON PRETTY MUCH EVERYWHERE. HERE'S WHY YOU NEED THE MARCH. IT'S ACCEPTED PRETTY MUCH EVERYWHERE BUT THIS ONE PLACE CALLED THE UNITED STATES HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES COMMITTEE ON SCIENCE, SPACE AND TECHNOLOGY. THIS IS TRUE. LAST WEEK THEY HELD A HEARING THAT THEY APPARENTLY RECORDED IN 1971 -- (LAUGHTER) I GUESS THAT'S THE TECHNOLOGY PART OF THE COMMITTEE NAME -- ON PRESIDENT OBAMA'S PLAN TO SHRINK CARBON EMISSIONS 30% BY 2030. THE HEARINGS' SISYPHUS, PRESIDENTIAL SCIENCE ADVISOR JOHN HOLDREN, CHARGED WITH THE IMPOSSIBLE TASK OF PUSHING 1 MILLION POUNDS OF IDIOT UP A MOUNTAIN. OF COURSE, LIKE ANY AVALANCHE, IT DID BEGAN RATHER INNOCUOUSLY. TEXAS REPUBLICAN STEVE STOCKMAN. >> THE LEAD SCIENTIST AT NASA SAID THIS, HE SAID WHAT ENDED THE ICE AGE WAS GLOBAL WOBBLING. IS THE WOBBLING OF THE EARTH INCLUDED IN ANY OF YOUR MODELINGS? AND THE ANSWER WAS NO. WHEN YOU HAVE A MODEL AND YOU SAY WE'LL LEAVE OUT THE MOST IMPORTANT IMPACT OF THAT MODEL OUT OF OUR THEORY AND NOT TALK ABOUT GLOBAL WOBBLING, HOW CAN YOU MAKE PROJECTIONS? (LAUGHTER) >> Jon: WHAT'S UP, SCIENTISTS? GLOBAL WOBBLING, BITCHES! (LAUGHTER) HE SEES YOUR SO-CALLED GLOBAL WARMING AND RAISES YOU A GLOBAL WOBBLING. EXPLAIN THAT DR. WHITE HOUSE. >> GLOBAL WOBBLING WHICH REFERS TO CHANGES IN THE EARTH'S TILT AND ORBIT TAKES PLACE ON CHARACTERISTIC TIME SCALES OF 22,000 YEARS, 44,000 YEARS AND 100,000 YEARS. IT IS VERY SLOW. GLOBAL WOBBLES IS A TINY EFFECT OF THE TIME SCALE OF 100 YEARS IN WHICH WE TRY TO RUN THESE MODELS. >> Jon: I DIDN'T KNOW WE WOULD BE TALKING TO AN ACTUAL SCIENTIST... (WHISPERING) ALL RIGHT, HOLDREN, YOU ACED THE WOBBLE WARMING. RIDDLE ME THIS: >> AT WHAT POINT A LEVEL OF CO2 DOES CO2 BECOME DAMAGING? AT WHAT LEVEL DOES IT BECOME HARMFUL TO HUMAN BEINGS? >> Jon: BOOM! HOW CAN CO2 BE DANGEROUS WHEN I CAN STILL BREATHE? >> VICE CHAIRMAN ROHRABACHER, I ALWAYS ENJOY MY INTERACTIONS WITH YOU. >> Jon: MUCH THE WAY ONE ENJOYS PLAYING PEEK A BOO WITH A BABY. (LAUGHTER) >> Jon: OR PERHAPS TEASING A CAT WITH A LASER POINTER! (LAUGHTER) >> I HAVE TO SAY WITH RESPECT THAT'S A RED HERRING. WE ARE NOT INTERESTED IN CARBON DIOXIDE CONCENTRATIONS BECAUSE OF THEIR DIRECT EFFECT ON HUMAN HEALTH, WE'RE INTERESTED IN THEM BECAUSE OF THEIR EFFECT ON THE WORLD'S CLIMATE AND CLIMATE CHANGE HAS DISASTEROUS EFFECTS ON HEALTH. >> Jon: WHY CAN WE STILL BREATHE? THAT'S WHAT I'M ASKING! I MEAN, YOU CAN HEAR ME RIGHT? I'M BREATHING! AND IT GOT MORE AMAZING AS IT WENT. INDIANA'S LARRY BUSCHON. >> IT'S NOT ABOUT AFFECTING THE GLOBAL TEMPERATURE AND CLIMATE CHANGE. >> THERE IS PUBLIC COMMENTS OUT THERE THAT QUESTION HAS BEEN ASKED AND ANSWERED SAYING NO. >> YOU SHOULD LOOK AT THE SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE RATHER THAN THE PUBLIC COMMENTS. (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE) >> Jon: WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, REPRESENTATIVE BUSCHON, I SUGGEST YOU GET THE JOURNAL OF APPLIED METEOROLOGY AND CLIMATOLOGY AS OPPOSED TO THE YOU TUBE COMMENT FEED OF OBUMMERLIES1776. BUT HERE'S WHERE BUSCHON FINALLY GIVES AWAY THE GAME. >> OF ALL THE CLIMATOLOGISTS WHOSE CAREER DEPENDS ON THE CLIMATE CHANGING TO KEEP THEMSELVES PUBLISHING ARTICLES, YES, I COULD READ THAT BUT I DO NOT BELIEVE IT. >> Jon: I DO NOT BELIEVE THE SCIENTISTS BECAUSE IT IS THEIR PROFESSION NOT THEIR HOBBY. (LAUGHTER) WELL SINCE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE INFLUENCE MONEY MIGHT HAVE ON CLIMATE CHANGE OPINION, IT TURNS OUT REPRESENTATIVE BUSCHON'S THREE BIGGEST CAMPAIGN DONORS ARE MURRAY ENERGY, KOCH ENTERPRISES, AND PEABODY ENERGY. AND TRUST ME. (AUDIENCE REACTS) TRUST ME, THOSE THREE WELL FUNDED COMPANIES WOULD LOVE TO DISPROVE CLIMATE CHANGE. TO THE SATISFACTION OF THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY AT LARGE. SO IF SCIENTISTS COULD BE BOUGHT THESE MOTHER [BLEEP] WOULD HAVE ALREADY MADE IT RAIN IN NERD TOWN. TRUST ME. AND AGAIN, I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH. THIS IS THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES COMMITTEE ON SCIENCE, SPACE AND TECHNOLOGY. >> HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE FOR THE SEA LEVEL TO RISE TWO FEET? I MEAN, THINK ABOUT IT, IF YOUR ICE CUBE MELTS IN YOUR GLASS, IT DOESN'T OVERFLOW, IT'S DISPLACEMENT. I MEAN, THESE ARE SOME OF THE THINGS THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THAT MATHEMATICALLY AND SCIENTIFICALLY DON'T MAKE SENSE. >> Jon: ARE YOU [BLEEP] KIDDING ME? ARE YOU [BLEEP] KIDDING ME? I DON'T EVEN KNOW -- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT! HOW FAR BACK TO THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CORE CURRICULUM DO WE HAVE TO GO TO GET SOMEONE ON THE HOUSE COMMITTEE ON SCIENCE, SPACE AND TECHNOLOGY CAUGHT UP? DO WE HAVE TO BRING OUT THE PAPIER MACHE AND BAKING SODA SO YOU CAN MAKE A (BLEEP) VOLCANO? IS THAT WHAT WE HAVE TO DO? IS THAT HOW BASIC THE SCIENCE CLASS WAS WHEN YOU WENT? NAH, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS ANYMORE. FOR GOD'S SAKES! LOOK, HERE -- HERE, LOOK. HERE'S A GLASS OF ICE WATER. HEY, THAT ICE ISN'T MAKING THE WATER OVERFLOW BECAUSE IT'S ALREADY IN THE WATER! BUT IMAGINE THERE'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER ICE THAT'S NOT IN THE WATER, IT'S ON THE LAND -- YOU KNOW, THE PART WHERE THE WATER ISN'T! AND THEN WHEN TEMPERATURES RISE AND THE LAND ICE MELTS ENOUGH, TO FALL IN, OH, (BLEEP)! IT'S EVERYWHERE! IT'S EVERYWHERE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) WAIT A MINUTE.