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I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.
Please! When he left town you stayed in your pyjamas for a month.
And! I saw you eat a cheeseburger!
Well? Didn't you?
I..might have..
I can't believe you didn't tell me.
Oh come on. Like you tell me everything?
What have I not told you?
Oh! I don't know. Uhm.
How about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from
when you were having sex with fun Bobby out on the terrace?
Wait a minute! Who told you?
You are dead meat!
I didnt know it was a big secret.
Oh it's not big. Not at all.
You know, kinda in the same lines as.. Say oh I don't know..
Having a third nipple!
You have a third nipple?
You bitch!
Whip it out! Whip it out!
No! Come on! There's nothing to see. It's just a tiny bump, it's totally useless.
Oh as oppose as your other multi-functional nipples?
I can't believe you! You told me it was a nubbin.
Joey what do you think a nubbin was?
I don't know, you see something, you hear a word I thought that's what it was.
Let me see it again!
Joey was in a porno movie!
If I'm going down I'm taking everybody with me.
Oh my god!
All right all right all right! I was young and I just wanted a job, okay?
But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it.
So they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier, but can't,
cause there's people having sex on it.
Wow. That is wild!
So what's it shaped like? Yeah is there a hair on it?
What happens if you flick it?
Let's go.
Oh! Yeah about telling mom and dad
I was thinking about maybe writing a letter.
Right, you know what? That's it. You've had your chance.
Mom, dad.
Ross smoked pot in college.
You are such a tattletale!
Mom, dad.
You remember that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Both: Yes.
Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot
but, it was me. I'm sorry.
It was you?
And dad, you know that mailman that you got fired?
He didn't steal your Playboys, Ross did!
Yeah well hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing, Monica did!
Ross hasn't worked in the museum for a year!
Monica and Chandler are living together!
Ross married Rachel in Vegas and got divorced! Again!
I love Jacques Cousteau!
I wasn't supposed to put beef in the trifle!
I wanna gooo!
Really? Okay so why don't you tell me what happened to Ross? Junior Year in Disneyland?
Oh no no I can't do that.
If you tell me I'll tell you what Phoebe said.
Okay! Okay!
So Ross and I were going to Disneyland,
and we stopped at this restaurant for tacos.
And when I say restaurant I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car.
So Ross has about ten tacos
and anyway, we're on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little.. iffy.
Oh my god.. He threw up?
No he visited a town a little south of throw up.
Uhh...Those are tacos?
Excuse me Mr. Mexico.
Either way, I'll pass.
Still can't eat those.
You told her!
Nancy Thompson is getting fired!
Okay okay I had food poisoning.
It's not like I chose to do it!
It's not like I said 'Huh what would make this ride more fun'.
Right, you're right, I'm sorry,
I shouldn't be laughing.
I should be laying down papers for you!
How could you tell her?
I had to okay? We're getting married.
Married couples can't keep secrets from one another.
Oh really? Well I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City.
What happened in Atlantic City?
Well Chandler and I were in a bar.
Did you not hear me say dude!
And this girl is making eyes at Chandler.
So after a while he goes over to her and uh
after a minute or two I see them kissing.
Now I know what you're thinking Chandler is not the type of guy
who just goes to bars and makes out with girls
and you're right. Chandler is not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with "girls"...
You kissed a guy!?
In my defense it was dark and he was a very pretty guy!
I laughed so hard.
Hoho! So hard we had to throw out your underwear again?
Whatever dude, you kissed a guy.
You want to know secrets? Okay! Okay!
In college Ross used to wear leg warmers.
All right!
Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
Ross came in fourth and cried!
Oh my god.
Oh is that funny?
Oh you find that funny?
Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too.
I already told him everything.
You shush!
Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner
so she ate the macaroni of a jewelry box she made.
Ross used to stay home every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls.
Monica couldn't tell time until she was thirteen!
It's hard for some people!
Of course it is.
Chandler one time wore my underwear to work.
I'm sorry I couldn't think of anymore for Ross.
In college, Chandler got drunk and slept with the lady who cleaned our dorm.
That was you.
Whatever dude, you kissed a guy.
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Friends - Funny Secrets (HQ)

58085 Folder Collection
朱育岐 published on January 29, 2017    Sabrina Hsu translated    Colleen Jao reviewed
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