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  • This, my friends, is "The Playbook".

  • "The Playbook" contains every scam, con, gambit, flimflam, stratagem, and bamboozle I've ever used, or ever hoped to use, to pick up chicks and give them the business.

  • From basic moves like "The Don't Drink That"...

  • Oh, Don't drink that. I saw some guy slip something in there.

  • What? Who?

  • Um... that guy!

  • Thank you

  • ... to more advanced maneuver like "The "Mrs. Stinsfire".

  • We have been assigned a new housemom; I'd like you to meet Mrs. Stinsfire.

  • Hello, girls!

  • Have you seen the one in there labeled, uh, "The SNASA"?

  • I'm actually in a top secret government space program called secret NASA, or SNASA.

  • Do you go to the Moon and stuff?

  • Well, not the Moon you're familiar with, though I have been to the "Smoon".

  • Wow!

  • Come on, Barney, you can't go back to these cheap tricks.

  • Cheap tricks? Not one of these is a cheap trick.

  • Except for "The Cheap Trick".

  • I'm the bass player for Cheap Trick.

  • Look at this

  • No!

  • I got left at the altar.

  • Oh, my God, that's horrible!

  • I wonder if that would work.

This, my friends, is "The Playbook".

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