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  • This is where we broke up.

  • A week ago I asked if we could talk, and you penciled me in.

  • You can tell something is wrong, and I can tell you know something is wrong, but neither of us are going to say anything.

  • I'm late, as usual.

  • You give me a hug and a kiss and you can tell I'm nervous from how quickly I let go.

  • I'm immediately annoyed at how far we are sitting from one another, but also kinda grateful for how far we are sitting from one another, 'cause I don't know if I could say this up close.

  • I skim the menu and ask you how your day was, trying to avoid eye contact.

  • You talk about nothing but work as per usual, and you don't ask me about my day.

  • As per usual.

  • Recognizing that this is getting awkward, I say, do you want a drink.

  • I'm trying to break the tension, but I could also just really use a drink right now.

  • When I think about what you look like, I remember you no closer than eight feet away, looking at your phone on your way out the door to go do something that isn't spending time with me.

  • But right now, when you're right in front of me, you're leaning in in the first time in forever, asking what's wrong without saying words.

  • More present than you've ever been, this just got a lot harder.

  • Suddenly I remember the moment we met, when you looked at me the way you're looking at me now.

  • With the kindest eyes I've ever seen.

  • That stopped me in my tracks.

  • This is the moment I almost get cold feet.

  • But before those eyes can stop me again, I look down on my drink and say, "I think we should break up."

  • You go silent as your eyes scan every inch of my face, trying to get a grip on what I just said.

  • Damn it, you're beautiful, even when you're in shock.

  • You open your mouth like you're about to say something, and close it again, unsure of what to say.

  • And now my heart is sinking,

  • 'cause now I'm remembering all of the reasons I fell for you in the first place.

  • All the memories and moments that made me put this off as long as I did.

  • And now we're sitting here staring at each other for what feels like an eternity, and finally my anxiety boils up out of me.

  • "Are you gonna say anything?"

  • And at last you break eye contact, look down and whisper, "I don't know what to say."

  • And I whisper back, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blindsided you like this."

  • Now this is the loudest moment of silence I have ever sat through.

  • Like you wouldn't give me the time of day.

  • I had to schedule our break up a week in advance, and you lean back and say, no, I understand.

  • But you didn't reply to my texts, I got one word answers.

  • I was skipping meals so we could eat together.

  • Sorry if I got tired of waiting.

  • And you look back at me and say, "I'm sorry, I know I haven't been... I don't know."

  • We talk for a while and call it a night.

  • You give me another hug and kiss me on the cheek

  • the way you know I love, and this time, I don't wanna let go.

  • I can't count how many times I've come back to this restaurant, at this table, with this waitress, and replayed that conversation in my head.

  • Rewriting the things I wish I had said.

  • Regretting the things I didn't give you a chance to say.

  • Wishing I told you sooner that something was wrong,

  • and wondering if maybe you cared more than I thought.

  • This is where we broke up.

  • I guess I wish it had gone differently.

This is where we broke up.

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A2 US usual break broke whisper eye contact drink

This Is Where We Broke Up

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    李宣億 posted on 2016/07/20
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