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  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • DAVID WAIN: New York City.

  • The women here are unbelievable.

  • But what am I ever going to do about it?

  • I mean, I get so nervous anytime I even get close to

  • asking women out in public, even though I

  • have a great opening.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Oh my god.

  • You would not believe the day I've had.

  • Everything has gone wrong.

  • Look, I know I don't know you.

  • I know it's a little awkward.

  • But do you think you could just buy me a drink?

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • [WHIMPERING]

  • DAVID WAIN: This is crazy.

  • I need to learn to meet women.

  • I need to get out of my shell.

  • I need Alias.

  • OK, so I called this guy, Alias, and I

  • signed up for his program.

  • It cost $1,500, but he guarantees that his students

  • can meet any woman and have sex with her or

  • get your money back.

  • So what have I got to lose?

  • ALIAS: What's up, David?

  • I'm Alias.

  • Are those your clothes?

  • DAVID WAIN: Yes.

  • ALIAS: No.

  • First off, we only concern ourselves with nines and tens.

  • Got it?

  • DAVID WAIN: Nines and tens.

  • Got it.

  • ALIAS: Now, just remember, beautiful women have guys

  • coming up to them all day long telling them how beautiful

  • they are, right?

  • DAVID WAIN: Right.

  • ALIAS: So what we do is deny them our approval, Holmes.

  • That way, we make them dependent upon us for it.

  • DAVID WAIN: Ah.

  • Seems so complicated.

  • Ah!

  • ALIAS: Check master out.

  • Great hair.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Uh, thanks.

  • ALIAS: Looks silky as shit.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Whatever.

  • ALIAS: Is it real?

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: What?

  • ALIAS: What, did you buy it?

  • Is it a weave?

  • Horse hair?

  • Dumb, cheap hooker.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Who are you?

  • ALIAS: Get lost.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Call me.

  • ALIAS: Doubt it.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Here.

  • Here.

  • Here.

  • ALIAS: See anyone you like?

  • How about her?

  • Go.

  • DAVID WAIN: Just go?

  • ALIAS: Step up to get your rep up, dude.

  • DAVID WAIN: All right.

  • Hey.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Hi.

  • DAVID WAIN: So I see you're buying jackets.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Yeah, I like jackets.

  • DAVID WAIN: That may be true, but, uh, these ones are too

  • small for you.

  • You've, uh, got a few extra pounds.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: What?

  • DAVID WAIN: Yeah, you're kind of a fat, chunky bitch.

  • Too many pounds.

  • I'm just so excited.

  • That gorgeous woman I met in the store is coming over for a

  • date tonight.

  • [DOORBELL RINGS]

  • Oh!

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Hello, Wain.

  • DAVID WAIN: Hello, shithead.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: David, there's something I have to tell you.

  • DAVID WAIN: Your hair smells like the carpet in the hallway

  • of an apartment building where old Russian people live.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Oh my god!

  • David, please, just listen to me.

  • DAVID WAIN: You look so stupid.

  • Can you even read?

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Oh, god!

  • Take me.

  • I'm going to go to the bathroom.

  • And I'm going to put in my diaphragm.

  • And then I am going to rock your brains out.

  • DAVID WAIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Woo!

  • [CELL RINGING]

  • DAVID WAIN: Hey, is this your phone?

  • Alias?

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Oh.

  • Oh, I tried to tell you.

  • DAVID WAIN: You've been working with

  • Alias the whole time?

  • It's just a scam.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: No, no, no, no.

  • It was at first.

  • But then I really started to like you.

  • DAVID WAIN: [WHINING].

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Oh, come on.

  • DAVID WAIN: Get away from me.

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Oh no, David, please don't run away from

  • your own house.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Excuse me, are you OK?

  • DAVID WAIN: Better than you with that

  • problem skin of yours.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Subtitles and vocabulary

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A2 alias wain david wain female speaker david speaker

Wainy Days Episode 16: The Pickup - REMASTERED!

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    紅謹 posted on 2013/04/26
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