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  • [upbeat music]

  • - Are you sure this is gonna work?

  • - Trust me.

  • Whip cream plus spray cheese

  • equals cream cheese.

  • - All right.

  • [loud bang]

  • - Mads, are you okay?

  • - I failed.

  • - To look in the mirror? - [chuckles]

  • - My nursing school application.

  • I can't ever be a nurse.

  • - But you studied for like a year.

  • How's that possible?

  • - I flunked the personality test.

  • both: Ohh.

  • - Give me that! - Hey.

  • - I haven't had sugar in 10 years and you know what?

  • I'm done trying to be good.

  • - Wow.

  • - [sighs] - Well?

  • - Mama's got a sweet tooth.

  • - Aah! - Show me your stash.

  • [playful music]

  • - [man singing] This is America

  • Land of dreams

  • Everyone can climb higher

  • - [women singing] No you know you're stuck here

  • 'Cause you're a part-timer yeah

  • - [man singing] You can do anything

  • - [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

  • - [man singing] And you can go anywhere

  • - [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

  • - [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

  • - [woman singing] Come on that's not who you are

  • - [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed

  • With full-time dreams

  • And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

  • Bad as it seems

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

  • Whoa

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

  • Oh

  • Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

  • - And...

  • got ya. [laughs]

  • I'll see you next week.

  • Oh! - So, my mom was reading me

  • the comics-- normal Tuesday tradish,

  • and look who's beady eyes were staring at me

  • from the crime section.

  • [dramatic tones] - [groans]

  • - Pete Petronavitch, 18-year-old male was arrested

  • for feeding ducks in Maple Park after hours.

  • This is the third strike for Mr. Petronavitch.

  • - It's not my fault. Those ducklings imprinted on me.

  • Please don't tell anyone.

  • I don't want to be treated like criminal Pete.

  • It's hard enough being treated like Pete Pete.

  • - Lucky for you I spent some time in the slammer.

  • - Uh, you said it was for like an hour.

  • - Yeah, which is an hour longer than you,

  • so obviously, that makes me the expert.

  • So allow me to be your tour guide

  • to the dark side.

  • [clangs twice]

  • - Oh, a secret door?

  • Wow, Ian, this is so--

  • [jazz music] Oh, my God.

  • Welcome to Club DuLocker.

  • It's a working title.

  • - Mads, consider us your sugar sherpas.

  • - The shamans of the sweet.

  • - As the Spaniards say, azúcares espirituales.

  • - Basically, we're gonna guide you through your first

  • sugar high in a decade. - Sweet.

  • - Whoa, whoa, whoa. No.

  • You got to start right, little sister.

  • - Too fast, you'll have a bad trip.

  • Too slow, you'll never leave the airport.

  • - Yeah, you got to start with something raw

  • and pure.

  • - Hold your nose and let the sugar drip down your throat.

  • Don't force it. - [gags]

  • - Now slam these gummy sours.

  • - Now chew. Chew! Chew! Chew! Chew!

  • - Knock this back...

  • and get ready for the ride of your life.

  • - [gulping]

  • Oh, yeah!

  • - Remember that rush? First one's always the best.

  • - How could I forget it?

  • - I want to do something super crazy!

  • Let's go wild! - Yes!

  • - We're with ya! - Let's...

  • put sugar in the salt shaker.

  • - Eh, think crazier. - Salt in the sugar jar?

  • - Not there yet. - Here, you need to take a bump.

  • - I got it, let's go next door and run through the carwash.

  • - Yeah. - Naked!

  • [laughs]

  • - Uh, I'm not gonna be doing that.

  • - Zero chance. - Yeah.

  • - Here we are, Pete, bartender's bound to be

  • around here somewhere.

  • - Shirley Temple...

  • extra Shirley.

  • - I feel like James Bond.

  • - James Bond is a mama's boy.

  • He went to club DuLocker.

  • We're hardcore.

  • - Drink up.

  • - [coughs]

  • [games beeping, whirring]

  • - The carwash was awesome, you guys.

  • The brushes left some lacerations,

  • but no pain, no gain.

  • Am I right?

  • Where is it?

  • - Where is what?

  • - The sugar. I need more...

  • now. - There isn't anymore.

  • - What? - [whimpers]

  • - Come on, man. I just need a little more.

  • Just a teensy bit. - [grunting]

  • - I'll do anything.

  • - Mads, I'm sorry, we ate it all.

  • - [screams] No!

  • There's got to be more. There's got to be more.

  • There's got to be-- - Mads...

  • I think you've had enough. - [evil laugh]

  • - Come on. - [evil laughter]

  • - Garbage cake.

  • - And the downward spiral begins.

  • - [screams]

  • - [giggles] Fits like a glove.

  • - You think he's ready to hear the master plan?

  • - Ooh, I don't know if he's ready.

  • - I'm ready.

  • Come on, Ian, you said I was a criminal now.

  • - Okay, we're gonna rob a bank.

  • - What? - Ha-ha! Just kidding, man.

  • - Holy crap. - Yeah, we actually tried that,

  • but it was super hard. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

  • So, uh, instead, we're gonna rob Pork. E. Pines.

  • - What?

  • Guys, I am not comfortable with this!

  • I mean, what would Anton think?

  • Or Lori? - That's the beauty of it,

  • they won't even notice.

  • - We're gonna rig all the videogames,

  • so that every third quarter,

  • comes directly to us.

  • - And how are you gonna do this?

  • - We're not. - You are.

  • First, you're gonna go down the street

  • and break into the construction site

  • and steal a jackhammer.

  • - Next, you'll drill a tunnel into the basement.

  • - Then, you'll knock down 10 holes in the support walls.

  • - Without Lori noticing. - And install a series

  • of tubes that connect to the quarter collectors of every game

  • and empty those quarters... - Into our bucket.

  • - Okay... - Also, you'll need to install

  • some kind of software

  • that'll reroute every third quarter into our bucket

  • so we aren't suspected.

  • We know you're good with computers,

  • because you wear glasses. - No!

  • I just have astigmatism.

  • - We'll worry about that later.

  • First, and most importantly,

  • you need to break into Lori's office

  • and steal the alarm codes.

  • - Because you'll be doing all the construction...

  • both: At night.

  • - And what are your guy's jobs?

  • - Oh, we already did our job.

  • - We got the bucket. - The rest is up to you.