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Me?
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Well...
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uh, January 20th. Yes.
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Someplace off--I don't even remember.
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Up in the DMZ.
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Walked into a whole battalion of them.
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Got shot in the foot.
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I got up like I was...
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back in the woods again,
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like I was John fuckin' Wayne,
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emptying a mag, screaming, "Come on, Charlie!
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Motherfucker, come on out, Charlie!"
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Rat-tat-tat-tat.
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I heard this crack above my right ear,
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and I just felt my body...
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drop out from under me.
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Christ, I thought I was dead for sure.
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Was the, uh...
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How was the hospital?
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It sucked.
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I know.
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Really bad.
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I'll tell you something, Ronnie...
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sometimes at night...
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I get these headaches, you know?
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They're bad.
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And, uh...
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they just kind of come over me,
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and these doctors don't know shit, you know.
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They just come, like I'm going crazy or something.
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I don't feel-- I don't feel like me anymore, you know?
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I feel like-- When they come,
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I feel like somebody else.
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What do you do?
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Nothing. Not a thing, you know?
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Well...mostly I do a lot of drugs.
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Do anything you can, you know?
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Y-you get through it any way you can.
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When I was in the hospital,
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I thought, "Yeah. yeah, this makes sense."
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What makes sense?
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'Cause I failed, Timmy.
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What are you talking about?
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'Cause I...
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'Cause I killed someone-- some people. I--
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I made some terrible...
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mistakes.
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Ronnie, we all made mistakes. I mean, you...
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you had no choice.
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Those pansy demonstrators
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will never understand.
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Don't talk about it.
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It was insane over there.
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Sometimes I wish-- I wish I'd--
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When I got shot in the foot,
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I could have laid down.
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Who gives a fuck now if I was a hero or not?
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I was paralyzed, castrated that day. Why?
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'Cause I was so s-- stupid.
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I'd have my dick and my balls now, and I think--
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I think, Timmy, I'd give everything I believe in,
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everything I got-- all my values
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just to have my body again,
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just to be whole again.
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But I'm not whole.
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I never will be, and that's...
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the way it is, isn't it?
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For Christ's sake, Ronnie...
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it's your birthday.
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You're alive.
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You made it.
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Smile.
