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  • All l said was ''The Easter Bunny at the Menlo Park Mall was more convincing,''

  • - and he just jumped the railing and knocked me down. - He's dead!

  • - Let it go. He's under a lot of pressure. - What happened to him?

  • - The Easter Bunny kicked his ass. - l had it coming.

  • - Fuck all that shit. Come on, Silent Bob. - What really happened?

  • The proprietor of Fashionable Male beat a rain check into my stomach.

  • - Shannon Hamilton? - You know that guy?

  • l went out with him after we dated. He tried to screw me somewhere very uncomfortable.

  • - Like the back of a Volkswagen? - Sounds like his M.O.

  • - Can you get up? - Am l still glowing?

  • Barely breathing. Was Rene involved in this?

  • This was an independent act of aggression.

  • He told me that his intentions were to penetrate my ex-girlfriend...

  • -in the most notorious of body cavities. -Sounds like him.

  • - You better tell Rene. - lf she's not smart enough to see him for what he is...

  • then she deserves the discomfort.

  • l have had just about all the discomfort l can stand for a day.

  • - l'm late. l gotta go. - You're just gonna leave with him in this condition?

  • - You gonna be okay, Brodie? - Couple pins in the hip, l'll be as good as new.

  • That's my boy. [ Kisses Cheek ] Bye, guys. Be good.

  • Women. Always leaving you when you've just had the crap kicked out of you.

  • You look like you're gonna live. Stay here. l gotta hit the bathroom.

  • Please, don't say ''hit.''

  • [ Woman ] # Here comes Mister Easter Bunny #

  • All right, honey. Don't forget to look for your Easter eggs on Sunday.

  • -Bye-bye, Easter Bunny. -[ Easter Bunny ] All right, who's next?

  • lt's hot in this goddamn suit.

  • Hey, guys, wait in line like everybody else. What the hell is this?

  • This is for Brodie.

  • - [ Gasping ] - [ Easter Bunny Groaning ]

  • [ Children Yelling ]

  • Oh, God.

  • - He's here. - What?

  • - Him and Brodie. - Don't sweat it. He's leaving. Oh.

  • He seems really broken up over this whole thing.

  • Maybe because we're broken up for good this time.

  • l remember when l dumped T.S., l was all right with it until he started dating you.

  • - A little jealousy residue? - l thought so, at first.

  • Then l realized it was more than that.

  • When l saw how he was with you, how well you two complimented each other...

  • it finally hit me that T.S. is a great catch.

  • [ Laughs ] Gwen, you were always cheating on him.

  • Capricious youth. Doesn't mean l wasn't regretful about it.

  • Jesus, Gwen, the last thing l need at this point is a lecture on my love life.

  • All l'm saying is that the really good guys are few and far between.

  • ln fact, l haven't met one since T.S.

  • Even if l did meet one, l'd use him as a basis for my comparison.

  • - You can have him if you want him. - l might consider trying.

  • lf he weren't so hung up on you.

  • Well, l gotta get home.

  • - Have a great show. - Okay. Bye.

All l said was ''The Easter Bunny at the Menlo Park Mall was more convincing,''

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