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  • On this episode of China Uncensored, Top 5 Hilariously Bad Chinese Theme Parks

  • Hi, welcome to China Uncensored, I'm your host Chris Chappell. Winter's icy grip is

  • almost at our throats, which is why I'm already planning my summer vacation to the happiest

  • place on earth: China. But, gosh darn it, I'm having a hard time deciding between these

  • five fun-filled theme parks! Won't you help me decide?

  • Number 5 Party at the Communist Party Theme Park!

  • You know nothing spells a good time quite like learning core Socialist values, and what

  • socialism with Chinese characteristics looks like! And it looks like this. park-

  • Aren't' they cute? I mean, more so than the actual Red Guards.

  • This one just opened in Wuhan at the end of September. Visitors get the "red benefit,"

  • as state-run Xinhua calls, it by learning about 29 "excellent party figures." I mean,

  • I know the only reason people go to Disney World is for the Hall of Presidents, so why

  • not have a park that does away with all those superfluous rides, and focuses just on historical

  • figures?! Just you know, with bronze plaques and no animatronics.

  • There's even a square where students and youths can swear their allegiance to the Party. It's

  • way better than that other square students used to visit.

  • And who would want to miss the tribute to the 2008 Beijing Olympics? But who's the gold

  • medal winner?! Why you are of course.

  • Number 4 No Monkeying Around at this Guerrilla Warfare

  • Theme Park

  • You know I've always felt I was born into the wrong times. Haven't you ever wished you

  • could run around in the filth and mud of the trenches of World War 2? I mean the War of

  • Resistance Against Japanese Aggression? Well now you can!

  • But hold on Chris, do I get to shoot at the Japanese devils? Of course you do! And then

  • you can enjoy one of the thrilling performances of people waving red flags. Historically speaking

  • I don't believe that was the preferred strategy for trench warfare, though.

  • Number 3 World of Intellectual Property Violations

  • Land

  • Technically, it's called "World of Joyland" But is it a world? Or is it a land? Scientists

  • may never know the answer, but there's one thing I'm pretty sure of: It looks suspiciously

  • like World of Warcraft.

  • You can go on the Splash of Monster Blood log ride, or head over to the Universe of

  • Starship, not at all to be confused with derivative Western properties like Starcraft. And these

  • ride descriptions really do have something you can't get anywhere else.

  • I just hope "Journey of Dangers" doesn't describe the safety standards.

  • Number 2 The Lyin' King

  • I had to spell that one out. Ah, here we go! The happiest place on

  • Wait a minute, something doesn't look right here. Hey, this isn't a Chinese Disneylandthis

  • is a…Chinese Disneyland! It's called the Beijing Shijingshan Amusement Park.

  • They even have a fake Epcot Center, and more world of Warcraft stuff.

  • Now please don't confuse this with Wonderland, the other Disneyland knock off that was eventually

  • closed down. This is a whole new world, with unbelievable sites, like this Wild West exhibit,

  • or crushed characters. And you know it's high quality because their

  • official slogan is "Disney is too far to go, please come to Shijingshan!"

  • And finally, Number 1!

  • Let's just saying you'll be dying to go to this one. Oh gosh no, not like that!

  • Like this. Haven't you always wondered what it would be like to be cremated? Well now

  • you can find out and live to tell the tale! This is 'the Cremator' at the Window to the

  • World amusement park. And what could be more amusing than crawling into a fake coffin,

  • that takes you down a conveyor belt, into a room that blasts you with hot air and light,

  • simulating flames?

  • Of course, if pretending you're dying isn't your idea of a good time, you can always check

  • out the park's 130 models of world famous landmarks, like the Eiffel Tower and Coliseum,

  • the Louvre and Statue of David, and Mt. Rushmore, the Capitol, and the Washington Monument.

  • So which theme park do you think I should visit on my next summer vacation to China?

  • Tell me in the comment section below. And as always, hit those like and subscribe buttons.

  • Once again I'm Chris Chappell, see you next time.

On this episode of China Uncensored, Top 5 Hilariously Bad Chinese Theme Parks

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