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  • Here are 7 things I'm tired of.

  • I'm getting tired of guys who smoke pipes. When are they going to outlaw this shit? Guy with a fucking pipe!

  • It's an arrogant thing to place a burning barrier between you and the rest of the world. It's supposed to imply thoughtfullness and intelligence.

  • It's not intelligent to walk around with a controlled fire sticking out of your mouth. I say "Hey, professor,

  • You want something hot to suck on? Call me! I'll give you something to put in your mouth!"

  • I think these pipe smokers ought to just move to the next level and go ahead and suck a dick. There's nothing wrong with sucking dicks.

  • Men do it. Women do it. It can't be all bad if everybody's doing it. I say "drop the pipe and go to the dick".

  • That's my advice. I'm here to help.

  • I'm also getting sick of car alarms. Not the screeching and beeping. That doesn't bother me.

  • It's just the idea of a car alarm that I find offensive. Especially the ones that talk to you: "Move away! Move away!".

  • - "Oh, really?". That's when i reach for my sharpest key. And i put a deep gouge in that paint job, all the way around the car.

  • Three hundred and sixty degrees. I might even make two trips around, if I don't have a luncheon appointment that day.

  • And then I walk away slowly, unconcerned about the screeching and beeping, because I know that no one takes car alarms seriously.

  • Car alarms are a Yuppie-boomer conceit and they're responsible for most of the carjacking that's going on.

  • Car alarms and The Club have have made it harder for thieves to steal parked cars

  • and so instead, they're stealing cars with people in them and people are dying.

  • And it's all because these selfish, boomer degenerates can't stand to part with their personal property.

  • Fuck boomers and fuck their pussified car alarms.

  • I'm also sick of having to look at bearded guys who don't know how to trim the lower edges of their beards, where they extend back toward the neck.

  • They trim too far up toward the chin, leaving a glaring, fleshy strip where there ought to be hair.

  • Guys, you need to let the beard extend far enough back under your chin, so it reaches the point where your neck begins.

  • Then, from the fold or angle that forms between your jaw and neck, you shave downward. If you don't have that fold;

  • if you have a fat, fleshy pouch under your jaw with no definition, you shouldn't be trimming your beard at all.

  • You should let it grow long and bushy, so it covers that goofy-looking pouch.

  • And I've just about had it with all these geeky fucks who walk around listening to Walkmans.

  • What are these jackoffs telling us anyway? They're too good to participate in daily life? They're sealing themselves off? Big fucking loss!

  • And what is it they're listening to that's so compelling?

  • I think a person has to be fairly uncomfortable with his own thoughts to have the need to block them out while simply walking around.

  • I'd love to know how many of these obviously disturbed people become suicides.

  • I've also grown weary of reading about clouds in a book. Doesn't this piss you off?

  • You're reading a nice story and suddenly the writer has to stop and describe the clouds. Who cares?

  • I'll bet you anything I can write a decent novel with a good, entertaining story and never once mention clouds.

  • Really! Every book you read. If there's an outdoor scene, an open window, or even a door slightly ajar, the writer has to say

  • "As Bo and Velma walked along the shore, the clouds hung ponderously on the horizon like steel-gray, loosely formed gorilla turds."

  • I'm not interested. Skip the clouds and get to the fucking!

  • The only story I know of where clouds were important was Noah's Ark.

  • Here's something else; I don't appreciate being put on hold and being forced to listen to someone else's radio.

  • I don't even listen to my own radio. Why should I have to pay money to call some company and listen to theirs?

  • And it's always that same shit; soft rock! That sucky, non-threatening, easy-listening pussy music.

  • Soft rock is an oxymoron. Furthermore, it's not rock and it's not even music. It's just soft.

  • One more item; I'm tired of being unable to buy clothing that doesn't have writing and printing all over it.

  • Insipid sayings, pseudo-wisdom, cute slogans, team logos, designer names, brand trademarks, small-business ego trips; the marketing pigs and advertising swine have turned us all into walking billboards.

  • You see some asshole walking by, and he's got on a fruity Dodger hat and a Hard Rock Cafe T-shirt.

  • Of course, you can't see the shirt if he's wearing his hot-shit Chicago Bulls jacket. The one that only 50 million other loser jock-sniffers own.

  • And since this cretinous sports fan/consumer zombie is completely for sale to anyone, he runs out his ensemble with

  • FedEx sneakers, ValuJet socks, Wall Street Journal sweatpants, a Starbucks jock strap and a Microsoft condom with Bill Gates' head on the end of it.

  • No one in this country owns his personal appearance anymore.

  • America has become a nation of obedient consumers, actively participating in their own degradation.

Here are 7 things I'm tired of.

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B1 US tired pipe jock fucking boomer neck

George Carlin (RARE) - 7 Things I'm Tired Of

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    謝文鴻 posted on 2016/01/03
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