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  • Evan, Weve been lying to you.

  • This Santa is Mitch.

  • And look.

  • This Santa is Marvin

  • Both of these Santas are fake.

  • Because the real Santa

  • Is Chinese.

  • What?

  • Santa’s Chinese?

  • Yes!

  • Why do you think all the toys he delivers sayMade in China” ?

  • Right, Louis?

  • Uh, right. Right.

  • How about how Santa wears a red suit?

  • Nothing more Chinese than the color red.

  • I’ve never seen a Chinese Santa.

  • Oh! Of course you haven’t.

  • Real Santa doesn’t have the time to be standing around,

  • Ringing a bell on every street corner.

  • Then why all the white Santas?

  • Uh, well, remember when I first opened cattleman’s

  • And hired Mitch to be the white face go the restaurant?

  • Chinese Santa’s doing the same thing.

  • Ah, all those white Santas are just Chinese Santa’s Mitches.

  • Oh.

  • Never knew this.

Evan, Weve been lying to you.

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