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  • Glad to see the boy stopped trying to butt in

  • Where is he, anyway?

  • I don't know, not in the house.

  • Watching the news? HA!

  • I'd like to know what he's really up to.

  • As if a normal boy cares what's on the news

  • Dudley hasn't got a clue what's going on

  • I doubt he knows who the prime minister is

  • Anyway,

  • It's not as if there'd be anything about his lot on our news

  • Vernon Shhh! The Window is open.

  • Oh yes... Uh... Sorry dear

  • Put it away! Now! Before anyone sees!

  • What the devil do you think you're doing?!

  • What did I do?

  • Making a racket like a starting pistol right outside our...

  • I didn't make that noise!

  • Why were you lurking under our window?

  • Yes yes good point Petunia!

  • What were you doing under our window boy?

  • Listening to the news

  • Listening to the news? Again?

  • Well it changes everyday you see.

  • Don't you be clever with me boy,

  • You know perfectly well that your lot don't get on our news.

  • That's all you know...

  • You're a nasty little liar!

  • We're not stupid you know!

  • Well THAT's news to me!

  • Squealed like a pig, didn't he?

  • Nice right Hook, Big D.

  • Hey Big D! Beat up another ten year old?

  • This one deserved it!

  • Oh did he now?

  • He was asking for it. He cheeked me.

  • Yeah?

  • Did he say you looked like a pig...

  • ...that's been taught to walk on it's hind legs?

  • 'Cause that's not cheek Dud', that's simply true.

  • Five against one... Very brave...

  • Well you're the one to talk!

  • Moaning in your sleep every night :

  • "DON'T KILL CEDRIC!!"

  • Who's Cedric? Your Boyfriend?

  • Shut up.

  • "HE'S GOING TO KILL ME MUM!"

  • Where is your mum?

  • Is she dead?

  • Is she dead?!

  • IS SHE DEAD POTTER?!

  • It's getting cold...

  • It's getting cold out of here Dudley!

  • Dudley! We gotta get out of here Dudley!

  • What are you doing?

  • I'm not doing anything!

  • Dudley come on!

  • Dudley stop!

  • What's happening I- I can't see anything!

  • I've gone Blind

  • Shut up Dudley!

  • Stop doing it swear or I'll hit you!

  • Dudley shut - ARGH!

  • Dudley you moron!

  • You're running right at it! Dudley stop! DUDLEY!

  • Expecto Patronum!

  • Don't put it away idiot boy!

  • What if there was more of them around?

  • Oh I'm gonna kill Mundungus Fletcher!

  • What?!

  • He left...

  • We've gotta get you back!

  • Oh! The trouble this is going to cause!

  • You're a witch?!

  • I'm a squib!

  • Oh! What's Dumbledore gonna say?

  • You know Dumbledore?

  • O' course I do!

  • YOU! Get your fat bottom of the ground!

  • Ooh! This is exactely what Dumbledore was afraid of!

  • Mundungus Fletcher I'm going to kill you!

  • Hello Figgy...

  • What happened to staying undercover?

  • I'll give undercover...

  • DEMENTORS, you lousy striking piece of f*ck!

  • Dementors... Here?

  • Yes! Here! You worthless pile of bat droppings!

  • And you were selling stolen cauldrons!

  • Get off! Get-off! You mad old bat!

  • Someone's gotta tell Dumbledore.

  • Yes! They have! And it'd better been you!

  • So you can go and tell him why you weren't here!

  • I'm going! I'm going!

  • I hope Dumbledore murders him. Come on quickly!

  • Oh my word, what a catastrophe!

  • Aah, it's no good crying over spilled potion I guess, but...

  • ...the cat's among the pixies now.

  • So Dumbledore's been having me followed?

  • O' course!

  • Do you think they'd let you wander on your own...

  • ...after what happened to that Diggory boy last year?

  • Good god, they told me you were intelligent

  • Now, get inside and stay there

  • It is hot ladies and gentlemen.

  • That's right, hot everywhere.

  • There is sweat and there is stifling.

  • And it's going to get even worse!

  • Temperatures in the mid 30's Celsius...

  • ... that's the mid 90's fahrenheit to our american cousins

  • Tomorrow maybe even hitting a hundred!

  • So please remember to cover up and stay cool...

  • ...drink lots of water and stay inside as much as possible.

  • Didikins? Is that you?

  • DUDDY! Vernon! Come quick!

  • What is it son?

  • Did Mrs. Pulkins give you something foreign for tea?

  • We're going to have to take him to the hospital!

  • Why are you all covered in dirt darling?

  • Have you been lying on the ground?

  • Hang on! You haven't been robbed have you?

  • Oh my god... Vernon, phone the police.

  • PHONE THE POLICE!

  • Sshh! He's trying to say something!

  • What is it Duddy? Tell Mummy.

  • Him...

  • Boy...

  • COME HERE!

  • WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SON?!!

  • What did he do to you Diddy?

  • Was it... you-know-what?

  • Did he use his... thing?

  • AHA! I knew it!

  • Happy are we now? You've finally done it!

  • You've finally driven him loopy!

  • Vernon! Don't say that!

  • Just look at him Petunia! Our boy has gone yumpy!

  • I've reached my limit! You hear?

  • This is the last I'm going to take of you and your nonsense!

  • Owls!

  • Dear Mr Potter,

  • The ministry has received intelligence...

  • ...that a 6.23 this evening...

  • You performed a Patronus Charm...

  • ...in the presence of a muggle.

  • As a clear violation of the decree...

  • ...for the reasonable restriction of underage sorcery

  • You are hereby expelled...

  • ...from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

  • Hoping you are well,

  • Mafalda Hopkirk.

  • What the devil is this supposed to mean?

  • I've just been kicked out of school by the ministry of magic.

  • Ministry of Magic?!

  • People like you in government?!

  • Oh this explains everything! EVERYTHING!

  • No wonder this country is going to the dogs!

  • Why have you been expelled?

  • Because I did magic.

  • AHA! So you admit it! What did you do to my son?

  • It wasn't me. It was a couple of Dementors.

  • A couple of-

  • What's this codswallop?

  • De-men-tors.

  • Two of them.

  • And what the ruddy hell are Dementors?

  • They guard the wizard prison Azkaban.

  • How do you know that?!

  • I heard that... Awful boy telling her about them...

  • ... Years ago.

  • If you mean my mum and dad...

  • Why don't you just use their names?

  • So they... er- They actually exist, do they? Uh-

  • Dementy-whatsits?

  • Yes!

  • But what are Dementoids?

  • What do they do?!

  • They suck all the happiness out of you.

  • And if they get the chance, they kiss you.

  • Kiss you?