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Let me-- [ Gasps ]
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Let me tell you a little story, Brewster.
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When I was seven years old,
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my daddy caught me smokin' a cigar.
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Locked me in the closet for three days and three nights...
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with nothin' but a box of cigars and a book of matches.
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No food, Brewster. No water, just those goddamned cigars.
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Wouldn't let me out until I finished every last one.
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Taught me one hell of a lesson.
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I'm going to do to you what my daddy did to me.
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I'm gonna teach you to hate spending money.
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I'm gonna make you so sick of spending money...
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that the mere sight of it will make you want to throw up.
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So, here's my proposition.
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You have 30 days in which to spend 30 million bucks.
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If you can do it, you get 300 million.
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- There's gotta be a catch. - Of course, there's a catch.
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You have to spend the 30 million,
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but after 30 days, you're not allowed to own any assets.
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No houses, no cars, no jewelry--
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nothin' but the shirt on your back.
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Sounds easy, don't it ?
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Well, you'll find out !
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[ Gasping ] No, no, no, no.
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You can hire anybody,
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but you must get value for their services.
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You can donate five percent to charity,
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and you can gamble another five percent away,
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but you can't give this money away.
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And that includes buying the Hope Diamond...
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for some bimbo as a birthday present.
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I know what you're thinking, Brewster.
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You'll buy yourself a dozen Picassos...
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and use them for firewood, right ?
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Wrong ! You must not destroy...
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what is inherently valuable.
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That's instant disqualification.
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Oh, yeah. I almost forgot.
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You're not allowed to tell anybody...
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why you have to spend this money, Why can't I tell my friends ?
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because I don't want anybody helpin' you out !
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Nobody helped me out in that closet with those cigars.
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I never had any friends.
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Well, Brewster, what do you think ? You got the balls for it ?
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I doubt it. That's why I put a special wimp clause in my will.
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You can have a million dollars, right now, forget the whole thing.
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Or you can go for the big one, Brewster--
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The 300 million.
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But if you fail,
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you don't get diddly.
