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  • - We're gonna play a game

  • that we've been playing on the show lately.

  • It's called Never Have I Ever. [audience laughter]

  • And a lot of people really enjoy this game.

  • - I'm sure. - It's--they really do.

  • They ask to play it.

  • So I'm gonna-- I'm gonna read something,

  • and all you have to do is say "I have"--

  • - You gonna do it, too? - Or "I have never."

  • I'll play with you, sure. - Okay.

  • - I don't want to put you on the spot, and not--

  • - Yeah, right. - Huh?

  • - Okay. - All right.

  • So, "Never have I ever

  • hired a dancer because I wanted to hook up with him."

  • - [laughs] [audience laughter]

  • - Not in the beginning. - Yeah.

  • [audience laughter]

  • And then later?

  • I will say I-- [audience laughter]

  • Okay. [laughter and applause]

  • "Never have I ever been in-- - [laughs]

  • - "Never have I ever been in handcuffs."

  • [audience laughter]

  • - You never have? - Never have.

  • - Wow. - No.

  • [audience laughter] I can't believe that.

  • - Nor have I had adhesive on me, either.

  • - [laughs] [audience laughter]

  • "Never have I ever looked at my significant other's texts."

  • - Oh, I have. - Yeah.

  • [audience laughter]

  • - Who hasn't? - Yeah.

  • - Okay, good. [audience laughter]

  • - If they have something to hide--

  • - Hello? - Yeah.

  • "Never have I ever given someone a fake phone number."

  • [audience laughter]

  • Yeah. You gotta, sometimes.

  • - Yeah. - Yeah.

  • "Never have I ever lied to Ellen about who I'm dating."

  • - [laughs] - [audience laughter]

  • - Never have! [audience laughter]

  • I have never! [audience laughter]

  • I speak my truth. Go.

  • - "Never have I ever been to a nude beach."

  • - No. - No.

  • - That can't be pretty, I mean-- - No, no.

  • - It's like-- [audience laughter]

  • You imagine it to be like everybody's--

  • I don't even want to see myself naked on the beach, I mean--

  • I'm serious. I don't.

  • - Well...some people want to see you naked on a beach.

  • [audience laughter]

  • [audience laughter]

  • - They gotcha! Poor tWitch.

  • - tWitch wants to see you? - He's married, leave him alone.

  • - Yeah, he's married, but, you know.

  • He's-- [audience laughter]

  • Not dead.

  • [audience laughter]

  • "Never have I ever snuck a man into the house

  • while my kids were asleep."

  • - [laughs]

  • [laughter and applause]

  • That's awful! [applause]

  • You have to do it when they're asleep!

  • You can just--parading people-- come on.

  • - I don't know. "Never have I ever

  • joined the Mile High Club."

  • - Oh wait, what's the question?

  • "I never have joined the Mile High--"

  • - "Never have I ever joined the Mile High Club."

  • [audience laughter]

  • It's not that hard to join.

  • - [laughs] [audience laughter]

- We're gonna play a game

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