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  • - Today we discuss all things fart. - Let's talk about that?

  • ♪ (theme music) ♪

  • Good Mythical Morning!

  • I recently tweeted, "I live, therefore I fart."

  • - Is that original? - I just thought of it, because it's true.

  • We all fart if we're alive. And if you want to get technical, sometimes

  • right after you die, you fart. Or worse.

  • - (laughing) Post fartem. - So in this episode, I thought we should

  • dive nose-first into topic of farting and discuss the etiquette and how you

  • navigate the different social situations and scenarios that exist

  • - when one starts to hit you. - You need this kind of information

  • - in order to live a full life. - So I'm gonna present

  • settings and scenarios, and I just wanna hear what you think about it,

  • - and then I'll weigh in, and maybe - Okay.

  • in the comments you guys can weigh in too. But this is an adult conversation, okay?

  • - So enough with the giggling, kids. - But "fart" is going to be said

  • - quite a few times, so if - It is.

  • you're not comfortable with that, then… We won't be introducing fart noises

  • - though, will we? In post. - Maybe.

  • - (laughing) Yeah, yeah, that may happen. - I'm not gonna commit to not doing that.

  • The first setting I wanna present is just you're with your family.

  • - (soothing music) - (fart sound effect)

  • We're around the holidays now, so you're gonna spend a lot more time

  • with your extended family. And I wanted to start here because your family and

  • who you grow up with determines… There's a farting climate that's set up

  • that then determines how treat farting...

  • - What's your farting climate? - …for the rest of your life.

  • What's your farting climate in your house? And that's kind of your rules that

  • - you've started with. I mean… - Or "you've farted with."

  • - Do you call it… what's the terminology? - Sorry.

  • And then is it accepted? Is it used for humor? Is it used for derision?

  • - What about for you? - And I think a lot of this has to do,

  • I mean, for me, I grew up in a family with just a brother. You know, well,

  • - we had parents, too. (laughing) - (laughing)

  • We weren't like Lord of the Flies, but it was all boys.

  • - Which is just like my family, - Oh yeah.

  • which is two sons. And so this is a fart free-for-all. You know, if you

  • gotta fart, let it out as loud and proud as possible, everybody laughs,

  • Mom kinda shakes her head. That's typically how it works in family of boys.

  • - Not saying that there aren't - Okay.

  • - girls out there who will let 'em rip, - Well, I'll present...

  • I'm just saying that if you've got a family of all boys, it's almost a

  • - guarantee that it's a fart free-for-all. - I'll present the other side.

  • My fart climate growing up… My dad's side of the family, my grandma, Nana...

  • Oh yeah. Even I know about Nana's farts.

  • Nana would like, she'll be walking from the kitchen to the bedroom and it would be

  • - like "fart fart fart" the walking farts. - Walking farts. (laughing)

  • - And on my mom's side of the family… - And she's not ashamed of it.

  • - She knows that you hear 'em, and… - Oh yeah. We all laugh, and it's great.

  • - So she set the climate, she set the tone. - "It's great."

  • - And it's like a middle C. - (farting sound effect)

  • And on my mom's side, my Papa Clyde, he would always just, "Pull my finger."

  • - And (spits like a fart) and it would… - Put the sound in there when I...

  • - I'm sorry, do it again. "Pull my finger." - (farting sound effect)

  • And it was just… It's oddly satisfying to pull your grandpa's finger and...

  • - It's like a machine. It's like - It's like a machine.

  • - interacting with a robot. - So, farts were always seen as

  • for comedic effect, in my house. Now, my only rule is if you've got one

  • worked up, hit it for comedy as long as people can get away from it.

  • - Oh. Get away from the cloud. - But if like, uh...

  • Yeah, if the room's… if there's enough space for it to disperse, that's...

  • I just think the simple principle here is determine your fart climate.

  • When you go and start your own family, set the fart climate early,

  • - Right. - and you control that.

  • And it doesn't matter if it's men, women, doesn't matter what the situation is,

  • - you can control your own fart climate. - I recommend using it for comedy.

  • But let's move out of immediate family into love interest.

  • Let's say you're on your first date.

  • - (soothing music) - (fart sound effect)

  • - I feel pretty strongly about this one. - And it's like, "Oh, no.

  • - I got one on deck." - I think that… I don't...

  • I'm not into a first-date fart. I don't think that this is a good thing,

  • I'd go as far as to say that you should manage your diet in the days leading

  • up to your dates, and even the meal that you eat on the date so that you don't

  • - have to worry about that. - Mm, manage your diet.

  • This is a "hold and release later" situation. Right? You hold and

  • then you get to a place where you can release, and then you release 'em all.

  • But if you've got to do one, you gotta perfect the upwind release.

  • - No, downwind. (laughing) - Oh. (laughing)

  • Yeah, you haven't been hunting' lately, have you? "Hey, baby. Lemme stand

  • about ten feet away. You let me know when you smell it."

  • - (everyone on and offscreen laughing) - Let me just… what if one slips out?

  • - What do you do? - You have to then turn it into

  • - comedy, is what I would do. - What do you say?

  • I mean, I would immediately own it, and I would be like, I would make a

  • comment about what we ate, "You got any brewin' in there?" I don't know...

  • No, you have to have a joke prepared, and mine is, "Whoops, that was me.

  • - I've never done that before." - (sputters) Fart?

  • - "Yes, I've never farted before." Ha ha! - "Never farted before."

  • - But what if your date - That's funny.

  • - lets one slip out? - (fart sound effect)

  • - Leave. (laughing) No. - No, you've gotta be ready with

  • a chivalrous response, At that moment, you'll be like, "Whoops, excuse me.

  • I just farted." Or "tooted," or whatever. "Pooted."

  • - You take the fart blame? - Take it. And then she thinks,

  • "Wow, he farted at the same time I did. It's like we're star-crossed lovers."

  • - (crew offscreen laughing) - There's no way she's gonna think that.

  • She's gonna be like, "He takes the fart blame," which could be weird.

  • - I think that's chivalrous! - I'll just say you can break

  • new ground in a relationship by breaking wind early on.

  • - Ooh. Wordplay. - 'Cause I do think that

  • - it will progress over time. - All right, so let's go that, with

  • in a long-term relationship with your spouse or significant other.

  • And you've got some fart-rogen dioxide.

  • - (soothing music) - (fart sound effect)

  • Conventional wisdom, and this is not untrue, is that the frequency and the

  • acceptance level of farts will increase as the relationship becomes stronger.

  • - Now, I will say… - Oh yeah, sometime my wife and I,

  • been married as long as we have, we speak only in fart.

  • Yeah, like a Morse code fart situation. A conversation.

  • - (Morse code farting noises) - I know what you're laying down, baby.

  • Now, there's a couple different philosophies here, because there's

  • definitely a "keep the romance alive" kind of thing, you know.

  • - Right, right. There's a time and a place. - You have to pepper your life

  • - (laughing) - with farts from your significant other.

  • - You gotta scatter it. (laughing) - You don't wanna overdo it.

  • - Now I'm giggling like a schoolgirl. - However, we do know of people

  • who've been married for even longer than us, who've never audibly farted

  • in front of one another, which, first of all, I don't know how that's physically

  • - possible, but I just… - They're both very bloated.

  • To me, I'm just like, "C'mon don't do that." At some point, you've gotta

  • - break wind in front of each other. - You can't wait too late in a

  • - relationship to set the fart precedent. - Yeah, because it might...

  • - You've gotta get that thing out, - It might end.

  • or you're gonna have a painful, that's a painful precedent,

  • to not fart. You know, you've gotta burn a hole in your britches sometimes

  • - (farting sound effect) - No, you don't.

  • You gotta know that they're gonna be… they're gonna stay around for it.

  • - You talking about lighting farts, now? - (laughing)

  • I don't advise lighting farts with your wife.

  • - That's like with your teenage friends. - It's like, "Honey, we're bored.

  • What do you do…" That's not… It was just a...

  • - Burn a hole in your britches. - Listen, when the lights are off, though,

  • - they do light up. - What about when you're around strangers?

  • The worst case: you're on a plane.

  • - (soothing music) - (fart sound effect)

  • - Oh, that altitude is really - You're stuck in some recirculating air.

  • making the rumbles happen, you're gonna butt burp...

  • - (fart sound effect) - I've had many flights ruined

  • by the rogue farter. And here's what happens:

  • - Oh yeah. - you smell it, and if you're like

  • on a five-hour flight, let's say, like every 15 minutes, you're like,

  • "There it is again." It's the same person, because it's so distinct.

  • You're like, "There it is." Just like a cloud.

  • And then you're trying to guess who it's coming from my which nostril it hits first.

  • Like, you know what I'm saying? You're like, "Uhh, that guy!"

  • And then you begin judging the people around you, and you're like,

  • - "Who is most…" - Sizin' 'em up.

  • - Like match the fart to the person. - Oh yeah.

  • Like, "Who in this group? That guy definitely would." Or, you know.

  • - Oh, man. - And then you're judging people,

  • and it might be the little old lady next to you. This is another

  • "hold and release" situation. This is what the lavatory is for, okay?

  • You've got to hold 'em in, and then you've got to get in line, you get in the

  • lavatory. I mean, the suction that will come out of the bottom of that toilet.

  • - (sucking sound) - (giggling)

  • You wanna suck that fart right out into the atmosphere,

  • - is what you want to happen. - (sucking sound)

  • Sometimes they don't let you go to the lavatory, man. And at that point...

  • - Luggage compartment. - (both laughing)

  • - If you can reach it. - There was a New Zealand

  • Medical Journal article that said that it does a body good to pass the gas

  • at high altitude. So I just think you gotta have that pulled up on your phone

  • and just let 'em read the article as you're just lettin' it seep out.