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  • From criminals that send their victims a facebook request to guys that forge money

  • in the shape of a million dollar bill, we count 15 of the lamest criminals ever to infect

  • society with their ineptitude 15 - Lumberjack,

  • • A guy casually walking down the street finds a bike chained to the tree - now, you'd

  • imagine if he wanted to steal the bike that he'd just cut off the chain with cable cutters,

  • right? • Nope, in the middle of the busy street

  • this guy takes out his axe and decides to cut down the tree - in front of dozens of

  • peopleThe whole time he was getting heckled,

  • some people pushing him around - but he was determined, and after 7 minutes the tree fell,

  • but people chased him away before he could steal the bike

  • 14 - Book, • A Polish author called Krystian Bala who

  • brutally murdered another person in the year 2000 - he wasn't caught and he kept writing

  • books • 3 years after the murder, he wrote a book

  • called Amok in which he describes a very similar murder to the one he actually committed - a

  • reader tipped off the police, they discovered several links to the real case

  • Krystian was caught out and sentenced for 25 years, simply because he couldn't keep

  • a very basic secret - but at least his book sales skyrocketed

  • 13 - Phone Number, • An 18-year-old robber in Chicago tried

  • to rob this muffler shop, but when he busted in armed to the teeth demanding money - he

  • heard something no robber ever wants to hearThe money was in the safe, and the only

  • person who could get into the safe was the manager - who wasn't there

  • Instead of cutting his losses, this guy does the unthinkable thing - he writes down

  • his phone number, hands it to the employees and tells them to ring him back when they

  • have the moneyThe instant he walked out the door, the

  • employees called the police, they rang the robber and had him walk straight back into

  • the shop only to get slapped with handcuffs 12 - Awful Burglary,

  • This one criminal called Christopher Kron was so terrible at his profession that he

  • actually made an instructional video on how NOT to commit burglary

  • He cites this one time he broke into a store - the alarm tripped, but he didn't leave

  • even though it was blaring in his ears - the security company rang the stores phone only

  • for Kron to pick up and supply them with his REAL NAME

  • Even after all this all he stole was a couple of beer bottles, to WHICH HE RETURNED

  • TO THE STORE A DAY LATER and was recognised by everyone that worked there - he was arrested

  • on the spot 11 - Birth Certificate,

  • • A thief that stole this woman's purse was in such as rush that he left behind two

  • bags, both of which contained critical information for the case

  • For some reason he'd been carrying around his own birth certificate and, just as damning,

  • a note from his own motherWhat boggles the mind is: if you've decided

  • to steal belongings, why wouldn't you leave your goddamn birth certificate at home or,

  • and here's a thought, not carry bags full of ID and forget you have them

  • 10 - Cash Call, • A 40-year-old criminal called Daniel Glen

  • who tried to rob a convenience store in Ontario - by calling the person that worked there

  • to ask them how much they had in the cash register

  • The instant the call ended, the employee got the police down there where they found

  • Daniel skulking nearby and arrested himAmazingly, Daniel had already tried this

  • tactic several times before, ringing ahead to make sure the store had money ready for

  • him to collect 9 - Date,

  • • A Swedish man browsing a certain dating website was annoyed that the 13-year-old girl

  • he'd be attempting to sleep with didn't turn up at their date

  • He'd given her almost 100 dollars as an advance payment, but after she started to

  • ignore him he tried to get himself justice - by ringing her father to demand she provide

  • a refund because she wouldn't sleep with himSuffice to say the Swedish man didn't

  • get a refund - suffice to say his plan would backfire very, very hard

  • 8 - Facebook, • This one criminal took this woman's cell

  • phone and almost got away with it - except when later on he decided to send her a facebook

  • friend requestShe immediately recognised him from his

  • 500+ photos and got his name: Juan Gonzales Jr

  • He was arrested and charged with second-degree burglary and felony theft, but most of all

  • he was charged with being a gigantic idiot 7 - Police House,

  • • A criminal called Darren Kimpton tried to break into a house, but he cut himself

  • on some glass and in doing so left blood at the crime scene

  • Later that day he tried to break into another place - only to accidentally find

  • himself in a house filled with police officersThe cops were there investigating an unrelated

  • burglary when they caught Darren attempting to force his way into the house - when he

  • realised how screwed he was, he tried to make a run for it, but they quickly subdued him

  • 6 - Crack, • An older woman who, like all of us, turned

  • to the police in her time of crisis - but her issue was a bit dodgy

  • She walked up to a police officer and asked for help in getting money back because

  • the cocaine she'd bought turned out to be low quality

  • She even showed the officer the cocaine, and then immediately found herself under arrest

  • because, well, she showed an officer the cocaine 5 - Old Woman,

  • Another story about an old woman, but this one reaching 95 years old - and although

  • she was confined to a wheelchair, she still managed to keep a burglar from breaking in

  • It was at 3am that this woman heard glass break near her front door, so she picked up

  • a screwdriver and stabbed the hand reaching through the window again and again while calling

  • for helpPolice arrived and found the burglar passed

  • out on her front porch, bleeding from multiple stab wounds

  • 4 - Gun Store, • This one guy Derrick Mosley walked into

  • a gun store wielding a baseball bat and tried to steal a gun - tried to steal a gun from

  • a gun store - using a baseball batHe smashed a glass display case and attempted

  • to take one of the firearms, but things didn't quite go right for him

  • Suffice to say, the store's owner laughed and pulled out a gun, keeping Derrick in his

  • crosshairs until the police could arrive to arrest him

  • 3 - Million Dollars, • One older guy called Michael Anthony Fuller

  • who had the balls to create his own counterfeit money, didn't realise that subtlety is key

  • when he made a visit to walmart to cash in a million dollar bill

  • For his $500 purchase he asked for $999,000 in change to which the police were called

  • in - they spent a good deal of time staring in disbelief at this ludicrous million dollar

  • bill before they slapped him with an attempt to obtain goods under false pretense

  • 2 - Disguise, • A 48-year-old criminal called Dennis Hawkins

  • who unsuccessfully tried to rob a bank on two separate occasions wearing an amazing

  • disguiseHe wore a blonde wig, fake breasts, clown

  • pants and a goatee, trying to pass himself off as the burliest woman imaginable - with

  • nothing covering his face, which made him the most conspicuous man on Earth

  • • A gas station attendant later reported some idiot dressed like a woman had tried

  • to steal a car, and police nabbed him up straight away

  • 1 - Bad Prisoner • A 21 year old guy named Frank Singleton,

  • just release from jail - the very first thing he did after getting released was to visit

  • the prison parking lot and carjack a womanEven though he was successful, he got

  • in the car and realised he didn't know how to drive a manual - he was sent back to jail

  • immediatelyThe police asked him why he did it, why

  • he couldn't even wait more than a few minutes to return to his life of crime, to which Frank

  • replied, "I didn't feel like walking"

From criminals that send their victims a facebook request to guys that forge money

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B1 US police burglary woman steal gun criminal

15 Dumbest Criminals Ever

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    張煊伊 posted on 2015/07/22
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