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  • Here's what's good about 30, is that you drink through your mouth instead of pouring, uh, alcohol into a funnel into your butt.

  • That's... that's the new craze.

  • [I] Don't consider 30 old, per se, I consider it on the way up.

  • 30 is midlife crisis and then you find yourself...

  • When I hear the age 30, I think of better, you know, more wisdom.

  • I don't... I... don't... I don't wanna be 30.

  • - It seems old. It does. - 30 seems old.

  • - It does. It's okay. - I know.

  • That's the scary part, is that you go to bed 29, you wake up 30 and it's the same life.

  • Like, everyone said "midlife crises", that's not...

  • Yeah, that's the weird ones.

  • It's funny; what they don't realize is that the quarter-life crisis, I feel like, is actually pretty true.

  • - Okay, like... - Like, you get out of college and then you're like...

  • - What am I doing with my life? - Oh, shit.

  • See, I think the quarter-life crisis is just... you have to pay rent.

  • Parties will be irrelevant because I'll be too old.

  • Parties will be ending early.

  • Parties will be boring.

  • 30-year-olds just drink wine and "let's have a night watching SVU".

  • Parties at 30 actually get a lot better.

  • - Yeah. - Because the parties that you're going to now are just loud music and skunk beer.

  • Oh, and sweat

  • - And sweat. - And shame.

  • Maybe this is good or bad, but I still host a lot of parties that go till 4 a.m.

  • - Where did you get that we all drink wine all the time? - You see... I...

  • I've had wine before.

  • Wine will become your best friend in your thirties if, maybe, ditched the boxed wine.

  • When you leave, the party's over.

  • So, it doesn't really matter what time it is.

  • When I leave.

  • Hopefully, boys will be men by the time they're 30.

  • That's gonna be the bestor not.

  • I mean, maybe they need to be, like, 35, I don't know.

  • I feel like by the time I turn 30, I really wouldn't care what people think, at all.

  • Depending on how cool my twenties are, maybe I'll be married.

  • But nobody will know that I am 30 when I'm 30.

  • Everyone's gonna think I'm still 29.

  • Like, right now, I'm still kind of in that, like, teenage mindset, where I feel that everyone's, like, criticizing me.

  • - But when I'm 30, I just wanna... I just wanna live. - Right... and...

  • We'll be the wine-night 30-year-olds who are, like, "Ugh, those 20-year-olds don't know what they're doing."

  • Huh, but they sure are hot.

  • -Yeah. - The only thing that I've learned from 20 to 30 is that I don't know anything.

  • - Once you realize that you don't know shit... - Done loads of shit.

  • - Then you know shit. - Then... then you know shit.

  • Yeah, you definitely come into your own and it's... you feel so much more comfortable just being yourself.

  • If you think that... that women are... are gonna get better by the time they're 30, just wait till you have a 40-year-old.

  • The answer is, you're not gonna be where you think you are.

  • - Yeah. Totes. - Deep.

  • There's one last thing I'd like to say: Fireball is...

  • - Delicious! Oh. - Awful!

  • None of these fools know what the f*** they're talking about.

Here's what's good about 30, is that you drink through your mouth instead of pouring, uh, alcohol into a funnel into your butt.

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