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  • What?

  • I'm playing Jesus. That's my song.

  • I know it's your song, but I felt something, and I decided to go with it.

  • But you're playing Judas.

  • Judas. All right, look. Here's the deal. I'm the star of the show, okay?

  • So if I decide to bust out a solo, do me a favor and give me the freedom to rock out.

  • From the top, okay, Wonsuk?

  • So the play's going well?

  • Yeah, I think it's gonna be fun.

  • I mean, I just wish they wouldn't surround me with a bunch of amateurs.

  • Uh-huh. Isn't that like the point of community theater? Whatever, Reuben.

  • So I'm going on a date with Polly.

  • All right! Where are you taking her?

  • I don't know. Some restaurant in the East Village.

  • She left the address on my machine.

  • How could you let Polly pick the restaurant?

  • Well, I had no choice. She called me, like, seven times...

  • to confirm and then cancel and then confirm again.

  • Why? What's wrong with letting her pick the place?

  • You've got irritable bowel syndrome, dude.

  • If she chose an ethnic restaurant, you're gonna be running to the bathroom every five seconds.

  • Oh, my God. You're right.

  • Thank you.

  • You know, I doubt it'll get this far, but if she turns out to be easier than I thought,

  • there's something you need to know.

  • I'm not a virgin, Sandy.

  • No, not technically, but times have changed since you were last single.

  • Now, listen, when I'm making out with a girl for the first time,

  • I like to give her a little spankin'.

  • What? Nothing violent.

  • You just tap her real light right on the tushy and say,

  • "Hey, I'm your daddy. I'm your daddy."

  • Listen to me.

  • What are you doing? I'm blotting the grease.

  • That's the best part. Let me see that. Listen, don't be shy.

  • - It's just a little tap. It's like saying, "Boop, I'm your daddy." - I'm not gonna tap her.

  • Brings 'em right back to childhood. Trust me, they're putty in your hands after that.

  • I gotta tell you, I'm really excited about this. Really.

  • I feel like this could be one of those...

  • defining moments of my life or something, you know?

  • [Laughs] Yeah, I actually think it's not gonna work out,

  • but I'm pulling for you, Reub.

  • Just pray to God she doesn't go ethnic.

  • The place didn't sound ethnic.

  • What was the name? Al Hafez.

What?

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