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  • I stayed up till 5 a.m. again.

  • Fa fa fa fa fa fa Facebook stalking.

  • My more successful friends.

  • Jack's got a house.

  • Jane's in Tangier.

  • I made 11 thousand dollars last year.

  • Your girlfriend's a 10 and mine's not even real.

  • Facebook stalking my more successful friends.

  • Jeff just got cast on an HBO show.

  • I'm on my ass watching HBO GO.

  • But I can't pay attention 'cause I'm checking my phone.

  • Facebook stalking my more successful friends.

  • You got 99 likes on a pic on Throwback Thursday of you doing hover hand with Helen Hunt.

  • My timeline's dead year round except my birthday.

  • And I haven't had a friend request in months.

  • But I only get half the story when...

  • I'm Fa fa fa fa fa fa Facebook stalking.

  • My more successful friends.

  • 'Cause Jack's new house just got repossessed.

  • Jane's in jail in Tangier for writing fake checks.

  • HBO got Zach Braff and fired poor Jeff.

  • And Jeff's cat just got feline AIDS.

  • That's the worst kind of AIDS there is.

  • They all make it look like they're living the dream.

  • But nobody's life is as cool as it seems.

  • You can bet your sweet ass they're just as lonely as me.

  • Facebook stalking my more successful friends.

  • Facebook stalking my more successful friends.

I stayed up till 5 a.m. again.

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