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  • You punch in at 8:30 every a.m., at 7:30 a.m. following a business holiday...

  • ...unless it's a Monday, then it's 8:00.

  • -Punch in late and they dock you. -This goes to seven! Urgent.

  • lncoming articles get a voucher. Outgoing articles provide a voucher.

  • Move any article without a voucher, they dock you!

  • Take this up to the secretarial pool on three! ASAP!

  • Letter-size, a green voucher! Folder-size, a yellow voucher!

  • Parcel-size, a maroon voucher!

  • This is for Morgatross! Chop-chop!

  • Wrong color voucher and they dock you!

  • 6-7-8-7-0-4-9-Alpha-6!

  • That is your employee number! lt will not be repeated!

  • Without it, you can't cash your paycheck.

  • All right! This goes up to 27!

  • Return a waiver! Do not return without a signed waiver!

  • lnter-office mail is code 37! lntra-office mail is 37-3.

  • Outside mail is 3-37.

  • Code it wrong and they dock you!

  • l was supposed to have this on 28 ten minutes ago!

  • This has been your orientation. ls there anything you do not understand?

  • lf you have not been fully orientated, you must file a complaint!

  • File a faulty complaint, and they dock you!

  • Kloppitt.

  • Kloppitt, Kloppitt, Kloppitt, Kloppitt....

  • Max Kloppitt.

  • ''Max Kloppitt, Jr.''

  • What do you do when the envelope is too big for the slot?

  • lf you fold them, they fire you.

  • l usually throw them out.

  • Just got hired today.

  • Terrific.

  • Entry level.

  • But...

  • ...l got big ideas.

  • l'm sure you do.

  • For instance...

  • ...look at this sweet baby.

  • l developed it myself.

  • Yes, sirree, this is my ticket upstairs.

  • You know, for kids.

  • Terrific.

  • So, you see. l won't be working in the mail room long.

  • No, l don't guess you will be.

  • How long've you been here?

  • Forty-eight years.

  • Next year they move me up to parcels...

  • ...if l'm lucky.

  • Attention Hudsucker employees:

  • We regretfully announce that at 30 seconds after the hour of noon...

  • ...Hudsucker time...

  • ...Waring Hudsucker, Founder, President...

  • ...and Chairman of the Board of Hudsucker lndustries...

  • ...merged with the infinite.

  • To mark this occasion of corporate loss...

  • ...we ask that all employees observe a moment of silent contemplation.

  • Thank you for your kind attention.

  • This moment has been duly noted on your timecards...

  • ...and will be deducted from your pay. That is all.

You punch in at 8:30 every a.m., at 7:30 a.m. following a business holiday...

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