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  • [speeded up] Fred: Hey, it's Fred!

  • And it's really nice out so I think I'm gonna go swimming later.

  • My mom found this really cool pool at the dump.

  • It's really big and really deep.

  • I think I might drown!

  • And also I got a letter in the mail.

  • It might be from my dad.

  • [reads] "To: Fred".

  • [Fred laughing]

  • Fred: Ahhhhhh!

  • [paper rustling]

  • Fred: What the heck is this?

  • [reads] "Haha, you probably thought this was your dad, you loser!

  • Anyways, I told you that I know where you live.

  • PS- You're voice is weird.

  • From: original Youtube.com/fred owner."

  • [screaming]

  • Fred: So the crazy guy really does know where I live.

  • What if he comes over here and steals all the food out of our fridge?

  • I don't want anyone to steal our food.

  • Oh, and I wonder why he thought my voice was weird?

  • Well, whatever!

  • I'm gonna text Judy on my Zipit telling her to meet me at my swimming pool.

  • [texts] "Hey Judy, this is Fred.

  • Please meet me in my swimming pool. See you there, bye."

  • I hope she meets me there.

  • The cat with rabies is inside my house because I like her now.

  • She rescued me from Kevin.

  • [rap music playing]

  • Fred: Here's the really big pool.

  • It's so big!

  • If you're wondering why I'm wearing my shirt while I'm going swimming

  • it's because I'm uncomfortable with my body.

  • I'm ready to go inside the pool.

  • One, two, three.

  • [water splashing]

  • Fred: Oh my God, it's cold!

  • I love swimming.

  • [singing] ♪ I love swimming.

  • Fred: This pool is small.

  • On TV I saw a pool that was really big.

  • This pool is so tiny.

  • Gimme a bigger pool, you stupid floatie!

  • Gimme a bigger pool.

  • [singing] ♪ This is pool is big enough for me because I don't ask for a lot.

  • Fred: Oh my God, there's a shark!

  • [water splashing]

  • Fred: I'm scared.

  • Just kidding, it's just a toy shark.

  • I got you.

  • Oh, my god,

  • I just peed inside the pool.

  • My mom's gonna be so mad because she said I'm not supposed to pee inside it.

  • Why did I do that?

  • Oh my God, you can see through my shirt.

  • Good thing Judy didn't come over or else she would've saw that I peed inside the pool.

  • She would've been grossed out.

  • [singing] ♪ Laaaaaaaaa.

  • Judy: Oh my God, look at Fred playing inside the pool with his shirt on.

  • Fred: No, I'm, I'm just uncomfortable.

  • Judy: You must be hiding your man boobs, sicko.

  • Fred: Nooo!

  • Once again,

  • Judy's being a brat.

  • But she's still really pretty, so it doesn't matter if she's mean.

  • At least Kevin's not--

  • Kevin: Let's go beat up Fred inside the pool.

  • Fred: No, do you want me to get the cat with rabies to bite you again, fattie?

  • Oh my God, Kevin's chasing after me.

  • If he even comes near me, I'm gonna go get the cat with rabies to bite him.

  • That little rascal.

  • Well, whatever,

  • I guess I'm gonna go inside now because everyone's being mean to me.

  • I hate the world!

  • But I don't hate the neighborhood squirrels.

  • I love them.

  • Well, I guess I'm back inside now.

  • I just got an IM from Kevin.

  • [reads] "Fred, don't ever ask Judy to go swimming with you again.

  • She's mine."

  • What in the world is he talking about?

  • [texts] "For your information,

  • Judy said she's currently single."

  • Whatever!

  • Oh, and by the way,

  • I'm really mad at Kevin because he bought a Zipit after me

  • and when I got my Zipit they were really expensive and now they're really cheap.

  • Why did I have to spend more money than Kevin?

  • Gosh! [screams]

  • Ok, well since I'm really mad I think I'm gonna go

  • because I don't want to take all my anger out on you.

  • Bye!

  • Fred: Kevin is fat.

  • He abuses cats.

  • He kisses dolls,

  • he also plays with train cars.

  • Loser!

[speeded up] Fred: Hey, it's Fred!

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