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  • Happy holidays!

  • This year, we got you the trailer you requested the most

  • ... for some reason.

  • After 42 volumes of comics, 18 movies, and 15 seasons of television...

  • one live action adaptation will ignore everything people loved about the Dragon Ball franchise

  • in America’s biggest insult to Japanese culture since Hiroshima.

  • Dragonball: Evolution.

  • Prepare for Fox’s half-assed attempt to cash in on their expiring rights to Dragon

  • Ball.

  • It’s an adaptation that steals from everything except the source material,

  • featuring elements of

  • The Matrix,

  • Lord of the Rings,

  • Twilight?

  • and The Last Airbender?

  • "Shadow Crane strike is the most basic of all the air-bending techniques."

  • Oh, come on!

  • When the Sith Lord Piccolo escapes his ancient prison, somehow...

  • Goku, a student at video game high school, must find the dragon balls before something

  • about an eclipse or else something about Oozaru the evil monkey werewolf.

  • It...doesn’t make any sense.

  • Can I get a little help here?

  • Well take it from here Honest Trailer Voice Man Voice!

  • Thanks guys, I’m totally lost.

  • Alright, listen up! Dragon Ball is the epic saga of a martial artist who...

  • Wait, that’s Goku?

  • This is an outrage! I never went to school!

  • Also, I don’t *think* youre white.

  • I’m a Saiya-genie!

  • Anyway, it’s about Noku here’s quest to collect all 7 wish granting dragon balls before--

  • Whoa, when did I get a hot Asian sidekick?

  • Maybe this movie isn’t so bad.

  • "I am Muten Roshi, the Invincible! Hahahaha!"

  • "My grandfather is dead."

  • Nope. It sucks.

  • And along the way Goku is joined by his best friend Krillin, who should

  • be showing up in the movie any second now...

  • any second...

  • Youre not in the movie.

  • I gotta be honest guys, this still seems pretty stupid.

  • But, like, the show is way better!

  • I fly around on a magic cloud, fight a shapeshifting man pig...

  • And help a 300 year old man get laid!

  • Have we sold you yet?

  • Not really. But thanks for trying.

  • You bet! Bye bye Honest Trailer Man Voice Man!

  • Hey! My roof!

  • Sorryyy!

  • Ugh...

  • Power up for a movie that doesn’t just sound bad, it looks bad,

  • as the epic ki attacks from the cartoons are replaced with CGI hand farts.

  • Squirm as the awkward level goes over 9000, in a movie full of

  • Long pauses,

  • "You're different."

  • "I like different."

  • Terrible dialogue,

  • "Grandpa! I'm so happy to see you!"

  • and Justin Chatwin’s forehead vein.

  • So, gather up all of the balls

  • Heh heh

  • for the one wish that everyone can agree on: make this movie never exist!

  • Starring...

  • How dare they make a movie about Kakarot and not include me?

  • Oh God not another one...

  • I’m Vegeta, prince of the Saiya--

  • oh my god is that the Beta-Male?

  • He's like a Tiger with Down’s Syndrome.

  • Never mind. Bullet dodged.

  • Definitely. Would you like to do the honors?

  • Of course I will!

  • Starring...

  • Geico

  • TeeTees

  • The Mask

  • The Ki Maker

  • Crouching Tiger, Dead Career

  • Nobody’s Favorite Ghostbuster

  • Mighty Joe Young

  • And Not-Lara-Croft

  • Oh, God, What a steaming pile.

  • Dragonball: Evolution

  • So wait, Kakarot wishes a guy he just met back to life at the end of the movie,

  • but he lets the man who raised him from birth stay dead?

  • ... I can dig it.

  • Special thanks to Team Four Star.

  • And if you want to get us something for Christmas, be sure to click that subscribe button.

  • Really? We're doing

  • this again?

  • Fine.

Happy holidays!

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