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But first, let me take a selfie.
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SHUT UP!
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(My strange addiction)
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My name is Anthony
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and everyone keeps telling me I'm addicted to taking selfies.
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They must be addicted to being stupid
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because I hardly ever take selfies.
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Anthony's life partner, Ian, is the only one that knows the full extend of Anthony's problem.
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He invited us over to see if we can help before Anthony's addiction goes too far.
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First of, I'm not Anthony's life partner.
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Just get that out of the way.
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But anyway, yes. He is definately addicted to taking selfies.
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I mean, everyday he's taking shirtless photos of himself with his cat.
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And when he is not at home, he's taking shirtless selfies of himself with, just, other random cats on the street.
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Yeah, gotta get my cat selfie!
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IT'S NOT EVEN REAL!
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My pussy...
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Anthony spends 17 hours a day deciding which filter he's going to use.
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That's over 6000 hours a week.
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That's almost the same height as a Brontosaurus.
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I'm just afraid of this problem spiraling out of control.
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#IanTalkingSmack
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He's even taking part of the stupid new selfie trends.
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#AfterSex
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#AfterPoop
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#AfterWorkoutButt
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#AfterMurder
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In an act of desperation, Ian has listed Anthony's girlfriend to help with the intervention.
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My mom is not Anthony's girlfriend.
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If I've said enough, it might come true.
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#AfterMarriageYouWillBeMySon
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They've asked us to leave the room, so they can have a heart to heart with Anthony.
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But we stayed in the room anyway.
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Come on, man. Please stop taking a selfie.
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I mean, both of us are here because we want to help...
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Fine. I won't take any more selfies.
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Give me the phone then.
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Thank you.
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And that one.
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Anthony has taken 565 gigabytes of selfies.
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If gigabytes were hamburger bites, you could feed 7 million midgets in New York City.
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Hamburgers aren't made of ham and that really confuses me.
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Anthony's rehad is going kinda
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like shit!
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All you have to do is take a picture of the food just like any normal Asian would.
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I can't.
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#AfterIEatThisImGonnaTakeA #AfterPoopSelfie
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So I just need to take a picture of you with another person, alright?
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#ICantStop
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As a last ditch effort, Ian has decided to offer 6 US dollars to make Anthony stop taking selfies.
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I like taking baths with 6 naked Persian m...
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God damn it, Garry. Don't write that shit!
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My mom doesn't know yet!
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Alright, I cleared out my entire college...
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What the hell are you doing?
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I'm gonna cut my body off and take a selfie of my head just rolling around.
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#AfterCuttingMyBodyOffSelfie
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Stop! If you don't do this,
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I'll actually be your girlfriend.
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REALLY?
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FUCK NO!
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Hey, Anthony. This time you've taken it too far.
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#ILoveYou
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#NotTheGayWay
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All I ever wanted was someone to love me.
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#NotTheGayWay
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Promise me you'll never take another selfie again.
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I promise.
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#ImTellingALieIWillKeepTakingSelfiesForever AndIanCantHearMeBecauseHisHearingSucks
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What?
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#Nothing
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You know. I'm so glad Anthony finally got rid of his addiction.
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Maybe now he can actually contribute to society
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like I do by...
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taking pictures of my balls.
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Alright, here we....
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Who put these freaking balls in the way?
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There we go!
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Perfect.
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If you know someone who's addicted to taking selfies, please send them this video before it's too late.
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Or just tell them to stop being such a narcissistic asshole.
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Captioned by HCHS63rdWilsonZombie