Name: 如何克服自卑，變得更有自信？首先，拿一張白紙... ► 聽聽心理治療師怎麼說 - Dr. Steve Peters 史蒂夫·彼得斯（中英字幕）
Uploaded: 2024-12-28T15:49:08.000Z
Duration: 7 min 11 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

To-infinitive

Get a blank piece of paper, write down who you want to be.

The superlative

So if I'm 30-odd, I'm 33, got low self-esteem, and I came to you, and that low self-esteem was manifesting in abusive relationships, bad work relationships, negative sort of feelings about myself, and maybe even some impulsive behaviors, where would you start with me?

I'm a doctor, so the first is make sure you're actually okay.

Because if someone were presenting with this, they could be in depression, and that can present in many ways.

Typically, it's low mood and loss of pleasure in everything and loss of energy, but that doesn't have to be, so I mustn't miss that.

So I would make sure your mind is not ill.

Now we assume that this is longstanding, and what you're describing is a lot of maladaptive coping strategies.

You know, I don't deserve to eat well, and I don't deserve to eat the right things, so I deserve to be overweight, or I deserve to look like this.

But the key to this would be to move all that to one side, if you're in a reasonable place where you can actually communicate.

If not, I'll let you express it, or it's important you get it off your chest.

If you've got it, you say, I don't need to do that.

What I do is what I say in the book here.

In A Path to the Jungle, I explain the starting point is get a blank piece of paper and write down who you wanna be.

Let's define what you want, not what you don't want, not what you're experiencing.

Start with a blank piece of paper and then write down the person you wanna be.

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So what you're describing now is the human system.

The great news is when I ask you about the characteristics you've got, so I want to be calm, I want to be happy, I want to be confident.

Because if we were, we can't surgically remove interference neuroscientifically, which we can see on functional MRI scanners.

If we remove the chimp and computer system, then you're completely in control of yourself.

What happens is when you choose to be calm, the chimp system interferes or the computer interferes and shows to the world someone who's not calm.

So it's very important to recognize who you are before we start.

They say, no, what I want to be is calm, collected, a good friend, have integrity.

That is you if we didn't have interference in the machine.

The biggest point is to define yourself, because now you've got self-esteem can rise just on that alone.

Once you've grasped that, you say, wow, what I'm presenting to the world is interference.

If I didn't have this machine, I would not have anxiety because that system that you say in the human system can't do anxiety.

But what it wants to do and how it wants to present is a choice.

These are interfering and presenting to the world someone who is not you.

So it's very important to grasp that concept.

I don't care what you want to do with your life.

I'm here as a doctor to explore this with you and get insights for yourself.

We're decent people who've just got lost in the way and the neuroscience of our mind has tumbled us.

So my starting point was to say, let's write out the real you and let's start building ourself on that and recognising what is not us and let's start unpicking it.

And we went earlier about low self-esteem.

Sometimes just saying that, they go, that's amazing.

I feel better for knowing it's natural and healthy.

Maybe rubbish and unhelpful, but at least I know it's healthy and there's not something wrong with me.

Because the second you start saying, oh, I'm trying to please people and I can't say no, and you see that as being a weakness or a fault, we're in trouble again because you're muddling yourself up with a machine.

All of this, anything the chimp does, anything it does is natural.

There's nothing you're going to give me, even if it murders someone.

So it's still illegal and not acceptable, but I'm saying everything's natural.

So that puts us on a different way of looking at it.

Again, to try and give context to that, natural isn't always good.

Overeating is natural, but it's not good.