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  • - TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE BOOK AND ABOUT MARCEL.

  • - WELL, MARCEL THE SHELL IS A CHARACTER THAT I CREATED

  • WITH MY HUSBAND, DEAN FLEISCHER-CAMP,

  • AND HE'S A SHELL AND HE HAS ONE EYE AND TWO SHOES

  • AND A FACE AND A PERSONALITY, LIKE MANY OF US DO,

  • TO HAVE PERSONALITIES AND YEAH. - UH-HUH.

  • - AND HE LIVES IN A LITTLE CONTAINER IN MY HOME

  • SURROUNDED BY COTTON BALLS. - SO HE'S, UH--

  • IT'S REALLY HILARIOUS AND THERE'S OVER 34 MILLION VIEWS

  • OF THE THREE VIDEOS YOU HAVE ON YOUTUBE.

  • AND HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THIS CHARACTER?

  • - WELL, HE HAS A LITTLE VOICE THAT--

  • - YOUR VOICE--IT'S YOU. - IT'S MY VOICE, YES.

  • - YOU'RE TALKING LIKE HE HAS--IT'S YOU.

  • - RIGHT, HIS VOICE IS LIKE, "IT'S LIKE THIS,

  • CAN YOU HEAR IT?" IT'S LIKE A LITTLE VOICE.

  • - UH-HUH. AND I STARTED DOING IT BECAUSE

  • I WAS AT A WEDDING WITH SOME FRIENDS

  • AND I WAS STUCK IN A HOTEL ROOM WITH MY HUSBAND, MY BEST FRIEND,

  • MY FRIEND, MIKE, HIS HUSBAND, LOTS OF MEN,

  • THEY WERE ALL EVERYWHERE, USING THE BATHROOM AND, LIKE,

  • JUST CROWDING ME AND I STARTED TO FEEL REALLY SMALL

  • AND STARTED TO BE LIKE, "AH, I'M NEVER GOING

  • TO GET INTO THE BATHROOM."

  • AND THAT'S ART. - AND THAT'S HOW YOU CAME UP

  • WITH THIS WHOLE THING, AND NOW LOOK AT IT.

  • YOU HAVE--LET'S SHOW EVERYONE. IT'S REALLY, REALLY, FUNNY.

  • - EE, UH, MY ONE REGRET IS THAT I'LL NEVER HAVE A DOG.

  • BUT SOMETIMES I TIE A HAIR TO A PIECE OF LINT

  • AND I DRAG IT AROUND.

  • COME ON, I LOVE YOU, COME ON, COME ON.

  • [baby cooing noises]

  • HIS NAME IS ALAN.

  • GUESS WHERE I FOUND HIM. - WHERE?

  • - UNDER A TOOTH.

  • WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. - WHAT?

  • - LINT IS A SHELL'S BEST FRIEND.

  • [laughter]

  • - IT'S SO GREAT. IT'S SO GREAT.

  • I LOVE THE VOICE, I LOVE THE CHARACTER,

  • I REALLY LIKE THAT IT'S A DOG THAT YOU--IS A PIECE OF LINT.

  • - YEAH. - UM, BUT NOW I MUST

  • ASK YOU THIS QUESTION. SO YOU GREW UP--

  • WHERE'D YOU GROW UP? - I GREW UP IN MASSACHUSETTS.

  • - MASSACHUSETTS, THERE'S A LOT OF OLDER HOUSES THERE.

  • - THAT'S RIGHT, AND I GREW UP IN A GENUINE HAUNTED HOUSE.

  • - OKAY, SO WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL,

  • YOU KNEW IT WAS HAUNTED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG?

  • - YES, I KNEW IT WAS HAUNTED. MY PARENTS, WHEN THEY MOVED IN,

  • THEY BOUGHT IT, KINDA LIKE, ALL THE FURNITURE IN IT,

  • THE PEOPLE HAD DIED, AND--

  • I'M GETTING SCARED EVEN TELLING THE STORY.

  • BUT, UM, SO, MY MOM WAS LIKE, THE RUNNER ON THE STAIRS,

  • SHE'S LIKE KIND OF A HYPOCHONDRIAC SOMETIMES,

  • AND, "IT'S MAKING ME--I'M GOING TO HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK."

  • SO THEY TORE THE RUNNER AWAY, AND UNDERNEATH THEY FOUND

  • ALL THESE PACKETS OF LETTERS THAT WERE WRITTEN TO SOMEONE

  • WHO HAD LIVED IN THE HOUSE, BUT THEY WEREN'T FROM HER HUSBAND,

  • THEY WERE FROM LIKE A SEA CAPTAIN, FROM A SHIP.

  • AND THEY WERE LIKE ROMANTIC LETTERS, AND MY DAD IS THE POET,

  • AND HE WAS LIKE, "OH, I'M GOING TO WRITE A STORY, YOU KNOW,

  • "I'M GOING TO WRITE ABOUT THESE,

  • I'M GOING TO WRITE POEMS ABOUT THIS."

  • SO HE PUT THE LETTERS IN HIS STUDY AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS.

  • AND THEN A FEW NIGHTS LATER, MY MOM SMELLED PIPE SMOKE,

  • AND MY DAD SMOKED A PIPE, MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF PIPES,

  • [laughs] A FAMILY TRADITION.

  • - WELL, NOW WE'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE ANY OF IT.

  • BECAUSE-- - NO, I SWEAR, ELLEN.

  • - ALL RIGHT.

  • - AND MY MOM SMELLED THE PIPE SMOKE AND SHE WAS LIKE,

  • "RON, COME TO BED!"

  • AND SHE ROLLED OVER AND HE WAS ASLEEP.

  • SO SHE'S LIKE, "OH, YOU KNOW, YOU LEFT YOUR PIPE BURNING,

  • "YOU'RE GOING TO BURN DOWN THIS NEW--OLD HAUNTED HOUSE

  • THAT WE JUST BOUGHT."

  • AND MY DAD IS LIKE, "I DIDN'T SMOKE MY PIPE TONIGHT."

  • SO MY MOM, OF COURSE, IS LIKE, "WELL, THEN THERE'S A ROBBER

  • "IN THE HOUSE AND HE'S SMOKING A PIPE,

  • "AND HE'S GOING TO--YOU KNOW, HE'S GOING TO STEAL

  • ALL OF THE JUNK THAT'S IN HERE, I GUESS,"

  • AND SO MY DAD WENT OUT INTO THE HALL

  • AND HE LOOKED ONTO THE STAIRS,

  • AND HE SAYS, LIKE, HE SAW IT,

  • BUT HE KINDA DIDN'T SEE IT.

  • AND WHAT THERE WAS STANDING THERE THIS SEA CAPTAIN

  • WHO WAS JUST, LIKE, LOOKING AT HIM, KIND OF PLEADING.

  • AND, OF COURSE, MY DAD IS LIKE, [squeals]

  • AND THEN RAN--YOU KNOW, LIKE JUMPED INTO THE BED.

  • AND MY MOM'S LIKE, "WELL, WE CAN'T BRING UP OUR DAUGHTERS

  • IN THIS, LIKE, CRAZY HAUNTED HOUSE."

  • AND SO THEY ASKED THEIR SORT OF LIKE, SHAMAN-TYPE FRIEND,

  • AND HE TOLD THEM TO BURN THE LETTERS.

  • 'CAUSE THEY'RE NONE OF OUR BEESWAX.

  • UM, AND WE DID, AND THE GHOST NEVER CAME BACK,

  • BUT EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY HAS SEEN OTHER GHOSTS.

  • AND I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE EVER.

  • - YOU'VE NEVER SEEN ONE. - I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE.

  • - SO JUST YOUR FATHER, WHO SMOKES SOME TYPE OF A PIPE...

  • - RIGHT. - HAS SEEN A SEA CAPTAIN.

  • - YEAH, YEAH.

  • YEAH, MY DAD. - ALL RIGHT, WELL...

  • [applause]

  • NOT REALLY A HAUNTED HOUSE. - THAT'S FAIR, THAT'S FAIR.

  • IT'S FAIR. - OKAY, I'M JUST GONNA TELL YOU

  • RIGHT NOW, YOU DID NOT GROW UP IN A HAUNTED HOUSE.

  • - WHAT? - NO.

  • [laughter]

  • - WELL, MY MOM, ACTUALLY SHE SAW ONE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO,

  • AND SHE IS SO USED TO SEEING GHOSTS AT THIS POINT,

  • I WAS LIKE, "WELL, WHAT--" YOU KNOW, IT WAS IN FRONT

  • OF HER BED, I GUESS--AND I WAS LIKE, "WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO?"

  • AND SHE WAS LIKE, "WELL, I SAID, THIS IS REALLY ANNOYING,

  • 'CAUSE IT'S IN FRONT OF THE BED AND I WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP."

  • - WOW, SO THEY JUST ACCEPTED THERE'S GHOSTS IN THE HOUSE.

  • - YEAH, THEY'VE JUST SEEN SO MANY GHOSTS

  • AND I FEEL LIKE THE GHOSTS ARE WAITING,

  • SINCE I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT HASN'T SEEN ONE,

  • THEY'RE LIKE, "WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING

  • REALLY GOOD FOR HER NOW." - YEAH.

  • - YOU KNOW. - SO WHEN IT HAPPENS,

  • LET ME KNOW, COME BACK AND TELL ME ABOUT IT.

  • - FINE. - YEAH, I WON'T BELIEVE YOU.

  • - [laughs] - UM.

- TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE BOOK AND ABOUT MARCEL.

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