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  • Prepare for the all-new sequel

  • to the franchise reboot

  • based on the sequel

  • to the original franchise.

  • Star Trek Into Darkness.

  • Uh, did someone forget a colon?

  • Get ready for the sequel that JJ Abrams swore would be different from Star Trek II:

  • The Wrath of Khan.

  • Except for this part:

  • "The needs of the many Outweigh the needs of the few."

  • And this

  • And of course:

  • (screaming)

  • That.

  • But JJ's not just stealing from The Wrath of Khan;

  • he's recycling everything you loved about his last Star Trek movie, too,

  • like Kirk bedding aliens,

  • Spock throwing tantrums,

  • Kirk and Pike drinking,

  • Red Bull Space Jumping,

  • hallway running,

  • Old Spock,

  • and

  • even

  • more

  • lens flares!

  • Ah, you guys get the point.

  • So, ride once again with James T. Kirk,

  • the galaxy's worst star-fleet captain,

  • as he desecrates a culture's gods

  • "What the hell did you take?!"

  • "I have no idea, but they were bowing to it!"

  • Lets experienced crew members go out of spite.

  • "Do you accept my resignation or not?"

  • "I do!"

  • Promotes inexperienced crew members out of convenience.

  • "You're my new chief."

  • "Aye, captain."

  • And fails to protect his crew.

  • (screams)

  • And the Enterprise.

  • And downtown San Francisco.

  • Cringe at the stereotypical treatment of the two female leads.

  • Uhura, an otherwise competent officer,

  • who stops a life or death mission

  • to nag her boyfriend for not sharing his feelings.

  • Uhura: "You prefer not to discuss this at all, that's what you prefer."

  • Spock: "Our current --"

  • Kirk: "Are you really gonna do this right now?"

  • Uhura: "What never seems to require your undivided focus --"

  • Kirk: "Guys."

  • Uhura: "I'm sorry, Captain. Just two seconds."

  • And newcomer Carol Marcus,

  • who's only there for one reason

  • Carol: "Turn around!"

  • Make that two reasons.

  • Watch as this crew faces their most dangerous enemy yet.

  • Khan: "Khan."

  • He's a ruthless villain

  • Khan: "Shall we begin?"

  • so diabolical he'll... not kill Spock,

  • let Kirk express his feelings,

  • and ultimately be completely justified in his actions.

  • Khan: "My crew is my family.

  • Is there anything you would not do for your family?"

  • You gotta admit, he's got a point.

  • So! Boldly go to a ridiculous alternate Star Trek timeline,

  • where the Enterprise survives more hits than it took

  • in the entire original series,

  • magical interplanetary transporters make star ships obsolete,

  • death has been cured by magical super blood,

  • Bones: "I synthesized this serum from this super blood."

  • and, whenever they're in a space jam,

  • old Spock is just a FaceTime away.

  • Old Spock: "Mr. Spock."

  • Spock: "Mr. Spock."

  • Ugh, I can just picture the next Star Trek already.

  • [dreamy music]

  • Klingon General Chang,

  • The Horta,

  • Tholians,

  • The Borg --

  • all really bad!

  • Anybody else we should look out for?

  • We covered The Gorn, right?

  • It is just a test. Do not actually kill The Gorn.

  • Correct. Oh, and when you go back to 1930's New York you have to kill Kirk's

  • girlfriend or Hitler will win World War II.

  • Fascinating.

  • Oh and be sure to track down a couple humpback whales. Cause that will save you a

  • lot of time later on.

  • Humpback whales...

  • That should cover it. Now I believe you have something for me...

  • You lucky dog. Best I could get was that weird fan dance in Star Trek 5.

  • Are we sure this is not going to rip apart some time-space continuum?

  • Hey, you want my help or not!?

  • Starring...

  • Captain Twerk

  • Smock

  • Old Smock

  • Margaret Cho

  • Carlos Santana

  • A Doctor, Not a Miracle Worker

  • Bling-ons

  • Scott the Engineer

  • Robocop

  • Thumbnail

  • And Eggs Bennedict Cummerbund

  • Star Trek Into Darkness

  • Are we SURE we don't wanna put a colon in there?

  • Thanks for watching.

  • Set YouTube to subscribe.

  • Big thanks to How It Should Have Ended!

  • You guys rock!

  • Check them out here.

  • Ever wanted to see what this buttery voice looks like, or who makes the Honest

  • Trailers?

  • Click here to see the making of this Honest Trailer.

  • Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?

  • I'm a pretty pretty princess.

  • Kick his ass, Sea-Bass.

  • Tread lightly.

  • Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

Prepare for the all-new sequel

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Honest Trailers - Star Trek Into Darkness (Feat. HISHE)

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    jbrother posted on 2014/10/21
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