Name: How Discussing Finances Reduces Anxiety
Uploaded: 2024-07-29T03:49:08.000Z
Duration: 7 min 26 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Things that people are more comfortable talking about than money.

Mmm, sex, war, trauma, religion, politics.

It's a combination of being judged by society, not having a roadmap, and then certainly our primitive brains thinking that we need to protect ourselves and stay silent to survive.

Certain kinds of decisions that involve taboos or sacred values, there's evidence that actually a different part of the brain is coming online. There are a lot of conversations about making money, but very few or limited conversations that are intimate about how to manage it or how to even think about a financial decision.

It is quite literally something that touches every aspect of our lives.

And if we don't learn not just how to manage it, but also how we feel about it, it can have these ripple effects on our lives in the future.

Money taboos can have serious financial impacts.

The part of our brain where taboos live is not in charge.

This is your Brain on Money. This is Kathleen.

She knew at an early age that she had an interest in finance.

When I was a little girl, probably five or six, my favorite toy was a cash register.

And I just loved hitting the buttons and hearing the ka-chings, and I loved coins.

Now as a wealth psychology expert, she's seen the effect money taboos have had on her clients from every walk of life. So the money talk taboo is there and it's strong.

It has to do with the fact that we have grown up in a society that historically has not been open and honest about money.

It's because families don't know how to talk about money and don't have a roadmap for teaching us about saving, spending, investing.

And that silence is kind of passed down through generation.

So how does the brain perpetuate the taboo around money?

Our two neuroscientists, Dr. Joseph Cable and Dr. Moran Cerf, are going to show us what's happening inside our head. Our ancestors back in the days, when they lived in small groups, everyone had the benefit of the tribe and it worked for them not to stand out.

An ideal world is one where everyone has the same and we all share resources, but money became a very easy tool to quantify people's position in a system.

We resort to not revealing that too much because it might end up showing us that we're not as high on the totem pole as we thought we were.

So we're torn in a station where our brain still thinks one way, but we accept the norm of society that is different.

In that sense, we're in a constant battle. What's interesting about the way our brain resolves this conflict is that it thinks about taboos differently from most other decisions.

In the world of decision-making, we're engaging this valuation circuitry.

Decisions that involve taboos, we've been able to identify with neuroimaging.

A different part of the brain is coming online, the so-called executive brain.

It's the part of the brain that enacts rules.

These decisions are cut and dry, nothing to weigh in terms of costs and benefits.

The good news is the executive part of our brain is flexible, so even our deepest taboos can change very quickly.

And then, bam, in the course of a month, we all decided to reorient our behavior.

So if that part of the brain is flexible, what makes money such a taboo still? So many people, no matter what their socioeconomic status is, have a sense that everybody else is doing this thing called money better and that somehow they're messing it up.

And if we're able to break that money silence and talk and share, what we find is, oh, wait a second, nobody's perfect with money.

So when we become more compassionate with ourselves and more understanding of our relationship with money, that shame would go away.

And I really do believe we would be a healthier society and healthier individuals.

But what I find is if you take small baby steps and build up that muscle and pick really good people to engage in money conversations to start, it ultimately breaks through the taboo and you find out that talking about money, people think I'm crazy, but I think it's fun. So what concrete steps can we take to break the money taboo?

So for those of you not from the Michigan area, we always hold up our hand and we say, I'm from this part of Michigan.

I am really specific about the lyrical rappers, which is why Ghostface Killah is still in my top five.

And as financial therapists, they're going to explain how to break down the money taboo. Belonging has protected us from the dawn of time and whether we like it or not, we do that a lot with our money.

Is maybe buying something that we can't afford or maybe taking a trip because we want to be with our friends.

Whereas what actually can really connect you more deeply to your community and to your friends is being really truthful with them and saying something like, you know what, that trip sounds awesome, but I can't commit to a full week.

I'll meet up with you guys over the weekend.

So being truthful and kind and as transparent as you feel comfortable, actually the deeper those friendships and relationships become. The biggest advantage of talking about money more freely is reducing stress, anxiety, and the mystery around money.

If you're someone who is uncomfortable about money, one of the first things you can do is investigate how you feel about money and financial decisions and using that as a journal prompt or a way to explore with a friend or a family member will help you see why you're avoidant about talking about money.

More likely than not, you will realize that someone has already experienced getting their bank account closed or someone has already experienced how the process moves when buying a house.

Whether it is a family member, a friend, your partner, or anyone else that you're feeling comfortable bringing up the topic of money with, just know that money is something that's changing every day in our lives.

It's not one thing or one size fits all for anybody.

So if you're the type of person who feels like that you have nobody to talk to about money, here's the good news.

I've seen some amazing groups form online and then actually take them offline.

So I would encourage you, depending on where you like to hang out on the internet, to follow different forums or groups talking about different financial things, even how finances intersect with our mental health.

But really the essence of talking about money is talking about what are your emotions around money?

I mean, those are all great conversations to have and it all starts with engaging in a financial conversation.