Big news everyone!

We have a new Assassin's Creed on the way!

And it's gonna be in Japan!

Finally!

Oh my god!

You are still a frog in a well, who knows nothing of the sea.

This is a literal dream come true bro.

Yes sir!

After all this time, we're finally going to Japan.

And I still gotta see you niggas.

What?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What was that man?

Damn!

I still gotta be around you big fat babble beast.

Bro, what was that?

We go to Greece and I get a greasy person.

We go to France and we get a France person.

So why can't I get a Japan person?

You do though!

You got two protagonists and one's a native Japanese woman.

I said person!

And women aren't real people!

Aye!

Yeah!

I'm supposed to believe a small Asian woman is gonna take down three six foot tall ninjas.

Okay, we're talking about Japan during the feudal era.

Those dudes probably capped out at like five foot seven.

Where's my historical accuracy?

Why is it so dark in here?

Brother, in one of the games we fight Anubis on a flaming horse.

I think the real issue is in order to get the ultimate edition, we gotta put down a damn mortgage payment.

Why aren't we talking about that?

I'm sick and tired of all this DEI in my game.

What does that even stand for?

Stands for too many niggas.

That's not how acronyms work.

Also, one of the missions is locked behind a season pass.

Why aren't we talking about that?

How am I supposed to blend in with a crowd of Asians being a six foot two basketball person?

The assassin part is when you're playing the Asian woman.

They say it in the trailer.

Has anyone even asked the Japanese how they feel?

Why aren't we talking about that?

It's too blatant, all right?

They're trying to push an agenda and make everything woke.

Now I will admit, there are times these game industries will definitely pander to a certain demographic for some money, likes, or whatever.

But it's not every single time you see a black person as a protagonist.

Also, can you make your points without sounding incredibly racist?

MONKEY!

Oh, I'm done here.

Let's get this modern media.

I'm gonna go play a real samurai game.

Like Neo.

Or that's just crazy.