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  • Hello, and welcome.

  • My name is Mapleshade, but you should already know that!

  • A fair warning before viewing:

  • This video contains graphic violence, animal death, flashing images, and slight cursing.

  • Of course, this is no problem for me, but I can understand how some of you may be uncomfortable

  • with this;

  • so viewer discretion is advised.

  • I hope you enjoy.

  • And now, without further ado,

  • let me introduce you to the girls.

  • You know how people have these little habits that get you down?

  • Like...

  • Ashfur.

  • Ashfur liked to chew gum.

  • No not chew, pop.

  • So I came home this one day and I'm really irritated and I'm looking for a little bit

  • of sympathy.

  • And there's Ashfur.

  • Lying on the couch.

  • Drinking a beer and chewing.

  • No, not chewing.

  • POPPING.

  • So I said to him I said: "You pop that gum one more time."

  • ..And he did.

  • So, I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots.

  • Into his head.

  • I met Tigerclaw from Salt Lake City about two years ago.

  • And he told me he was single,

  • and we hit it off right away.

  • So we started living together.

  • He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, and we'd have dinner.

  • And then I found out.

  • "Single," he told me.

  • Single my ass.

  • Not only was he married, oh no.

  • He had six wives.

  • One of those Mormons, you know?

  • So that night when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink.. as usual.

  • You know some guys just can't hold their arsenic.

  • Now I'm standing in the kitchen, carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business.

  • In storms my husband Crowfeather in a jealous rage.

  • "You've been screwing the milkman!" he says.

  • He was crazy!

  • And he kept on screaming:

  • "You've been screwing the milkman!"

  • And then he ran into my knife.

  • He ran into my knife ten times.

  • Mit kersek, en itt?

  • Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakóm lefogta a ferjemet

  • En meg Lecsaptam a fejet

  • De nem igaz

  • En artatlan vagyok

  • Nem tudom

  • Mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem

  • Probaltam

  • A rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg

  • Yeah, but did you do it?

  • Uh uh, not guilty!

  • My friend Reedshine and I had this double act.

  • And my husband Appledusk traveled around with us.

  • Now for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row:

  • One.

  • Two.

  • Three.

  • Four.

  • Five.

  • Split, spread eagles, backflips, flip-flops, one right after the other.

  • So this one night before the show we're down at the hotel Cicero.

  • The three of us boozing, having a few laughs.

  • And we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some.

  • I come back, open the door,

  • And there's Reedshine and Appledusk doing number 17.

  • The spread eagle.

  • Well, I was in such a state of shock I completely blacked out I can't remember a thing.

  • It wasn't until later,

  • when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead.

  • I loved Brambleclaw more than I could possibly say.

  • He was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter.

  • But he was always trying to find himself.

  • He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way:

  • He found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary, and Irvings.

  • I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences.

  • He saw himself as alive;

  • And I saw him dead.

  • C minor, put it in C minor.

  • Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?

  • Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?

  • Isn't there a white night upon a fiery steed?

  • Late at night, I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need..

  • I need a hero!!

Hello, and welcome.

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