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  • Leafpool finds a receipt for 'Bath and Body Works' in Ashfur's wallet.

  • "But... this can't be Ashfur's purchase. He hated soap!"

  • With that realization haunting her, she hides the receipt where no one will ever find it.

  • Then, quickly before the prologue ends,

  • Yellowfang beats up Bluestar for some reason.

  • Meanwhile, in the Dream World

  • Lionblaze tells Tigerstar that he's not his real granddad

  • and he never loved him anyways.

  • he attacks him, but he's just generally ineffective

  • because his superpower is seemingly something stupid

  • like 1% chance to KO.

  • "What are you gonna do, kill me?" asks Tigerstar.

  • "Oh... yeah... that would be stupid, you're a ghost!"

  • Lionblaze wakes up to find the authors still remembering that Ashfur has friends

  • and their names are Thornclaw and Spiderleg.

  • Everyone thinks that WindClan did it.

  • "Nobody hates Ashfur!" insists Ferncloud, "He's never done anything wrong in his life!"

  • So Firestar composes a patrol of WindClan apologists and goes to ask Onestar if he knows anything.

  • They get there, watch Heathertail and Breezepelt kiss and then leave.

  • But before they can get away, Ashfoot makes sure that they know that Onestar is an idiot

  • and she's been operating the whole Clan behind his back.

  • That's when we discover hint number 1:

  • Sol has been casually hanging around close to where Ashfur's body was found!

  • Soon after, it's joined by hint number 2:

  • Hollyleaf spoke with Sol a few days before the murder!

  • So, obviously, without thinking this over whatsoever, they create a patrol to hunt down Sol.

  • Hazeltail's excited that she gets to do something for once!

  • "Maybe I'm becoming important!"

  • Sorry Hazeltail... you're not.

  • Before they leave, Jayfeather has a vision where Midnight tells him that Sol's her favourite character and he can do no wrong.

  • That's pretty weird, so Jayfeather ignores it and lets the patrol go anyways

  • Hollyleaf is pretty convinced that her life is over now that Squirrelf and Brambleman aren't her parents

  • so she spends several chapters trying to become a background character.

  • Back in camp, Firestar asks Leafpool if she can call Ashfur in StarClan for him.

  • "I... don't want to talk to Ashfur," says Leafpool

  • "Fair enough!" responds Firestar.

  • Jayfeather wants to know why Squirrelflight lied

  • but Squirrelflight doesn't have any rights and isn't allowed to explain herself!

  • "Heeeyyy Rock. Who are my real parents?" asks Jayfeather.

  • Rock appears, then tells him nothing, just to let him know that he hears him and also doesn't care.

  • Back at Midnight's base, Brackenfur, Brambleclaw and Birchbutt get bobbed out to sea

  • by a malicious, bee-hating entity

  • but is beautifully basted by Lionblaze's branch-busting technique.

  • Then Hazeltail falls into a trash bin

  • revealing to the warrior cats the sort of wonders that they could have been eating all along.

  • Meanwhile, Jayfeather is pulling some fleas off of Briarkit when Toadkit

  • absolutely destroys him.

  • Top Ten Warrior Cats Battles: Number 1! Toadkit defeats Jayfeather.

  • This is the straw that convinces Leafpool to give him some battle training.

  • Spottedleaf appears, then tells him nothing just to let him know that she hears him and also doesn't care.

  • She also implies that she didn't even know who his parents are

  • so that's a +1 for the 'StarClan is idiots' theory.

  • It's also a lie.

  • It's also, just, definitely a lie.

  • Hollyleaf gets her tongue stuck to a pole, then dogs attack!

  • Lionblaze is going to fight 5 dogs, when they are disappointingly saved by an alley cat.

  • Just... let Lionblaze fight 5 dogs.

  • They take them into their stinky cat house where they learn about how Sol gas-lit an entire neighbourhood.

  • Despite this, some loser in the shack is totally in love with him.

  • He's problematic Speckle. Stop falling in love with villians and murderers.

  • To try and unveil the mystery of his birth, Jayfeather asks Mousefur about it.

  • "Oh. Leafpool had you," says Mousefur.

  • 'This still doesn't explain who my parents are', thinks Jayfeather

  • So Jayfeather asks Leafpool if she knows anything.

  • "Stop worrying about the fact that I gave birth to you and do something productive," responds Leafpool.

  • Will he ever solve this mystery?

  • Brambleclaw's patrol just... kind of abandons the alley cats with their dog problem and goes off to find Purdy

  • Sweet, lovable, stellar, ever-rememberable Purdy.

  • Instead, they find Sol.

  • Horrible, emotionless, manipulative Sol.

  • "What are you doing at Purdy's house?" asks everyone.

  • "I dunno," responds Sol.

  • They're about to take Sol back with them but then they realize by doing this

  • they would be committing the ultimate sin of making Purdy lonely.

  • "Purdy should stay lonely," says Hollyleaf.

  • But nobody cares what Hollyleaf wants. They get to spend more time with Purdy!

  • Later that night, Hollyleaf decides that Sol is her new therapist

  • Back in ThunderClan, it seems that Leafpool is acting strange.

  • Could it be she's hiding something?

  • Something murderous?

  • Brambleclaw's patrol dumps Sol and Purdy in camp and collapses.

  • Every cat in ThunderClan treats Sol's interrogation like it's Christmas morning.

  • Unfortunately, Santa has not brought them a believable culprit.

  • Amazingly, an extracurricular activity, lying around in the sun, is reintroduced for the first time in like 15 books.

  • Berrynose and Honeyfern are laying around like idiots and talking about how they're going to have, like, 15 children.

  • A nearby snake, concerned about what more kits will do to the community and overall development of Warrior Cats background characters

  • decides to eat some of the current kits to even out this whole thing a little

  • but is intercepted by Honeyfern.

  • "Oh. Ow. Maybe this was a mistake," says Honeyfern, dying.

  • Everyone turns to Leafpool, who says, "Eh, snakes. What can you do."

  • Then everyone decides to never relax again to prevent future tragedy.

  • So they spray Snake-Be-Gone ® over all the holes and call it a night.

  • Leafpool has a deathberry lesson where she teaches all the kits and apprentices about poison.

  • Bumblekit still thinks he should eat them.

  • Likewise, Jayfeather's a little bit too interested in the idea of hurting people with plants.

  • Then it's time for all the medicine cats to go drink the forbidden sky water and talk to dead people

  • but nobody comes to see Jayfeather.

  • "Y'know, Leafpool really was a mother to you," says Sorreltail to Hollyleaf back at camp.

  • 'Well she's not my real mom!' thinks Hollyleaf.

  • 'Oh. Wait. That's Squirrelflight I'm thinking of...'

  • This gives Hollyleaf the great idea of asking Leafpool who her parents are.

  • She keeps coming up in these conversations after all.

  • "Tell me who my mom is," says Hollyleaf.

  • "Only if you tell me where you keep your scented soap," responds Leafpool,

  • pulling out a $40 receipt.

  • Our third and final potential suspect: Hollyleaf.

  • "Oh yeah, I did that," says Hollyleaf.

  • "And I'm your mom."

  • "What? No. Medicine cats can't get pregnant - the power of StarClan prevents it."

  • "They can, and they will," responds Leafpool.

  • Then Hollyleaf jumps 400 meters into the sky.

  • Leafpool tries to go back to the medicine cave to sulk but Jayfeather immediately detects her misery.

  • "I know why you're upset!" screams Jayfeather, "You killed Ashfur!"

  • It all makes sense now.

  • "No... no it doesn't," responds Leafpool.

  • "Ah.. wait.. crap, you're my mom."

  • The Three are all kind of upset about this for a second

  • but then they realize that the prophecy that they haven't thought about all book was back on and partying.

  • Lionblaze sneaks into Sol's prison cell and Sol tells him that he'll let him know who his parents are if he lets him out.

  • "I.. already know. It's Leafpool," says Lionblaze.

  • "I'll tell you about the other one."

  • "THERE'S ANOTHER ONE?"

  • "You need two parents to- You know what, never mind," responds Sol.

  • Lionblaze tosses Sol up the quarry cliff in exchange for information anyways.

  • "Haha! I lied. Bye loser!" shouts Sol, running off.

  • ThunderClan just agrees to collectively lie about this whole situation later.

  • Squirrelflight and Leafpool try to tell the Three that they love them but they're all wearing headphones.

  • They track down Sol and demand to know who their other parent is.

  • Sol changes the subject to tell them about how their religion sucks. He's 100% right, but it's rude.

  • Jayfeather somehow knows that Whitewing is having daughters before she even has them. He never displays this power again.

  • Then, he tries to go to sleep, but he is woken up by Yellowfang's ghost.

  • "Your dad is Crowfeather," she says.

  • "I'm getting really sick and tired of watching you do this, that's all."

  • So the Three take off to threaten Crowfeather in the middle of the night like well-adjusted adults.

  • They get Crowfeather to meet them at the border and Jayfeather zaps himself into his memories directly

  • instead of having a conversation.

  • "You know what? No. Just no," says Crowfeather,

  • immediately disowning his three new children.

  • Hollyleaf's importance and specialness is now in the negative numbers

  • being a murderer, and more horribly, a half-Clan cat.

  • There is no longer Hollyleaf.

  • There is only Murderleaf now, and she is going to kill the next leaf she sees.

  • At the Gathering, she releases a feral screech and jumps up and down until everyone's looking at her.

  • "You think you know me," says Hollyleaf, "You think you know my brothers. You think you know each other."

  • "But the truth is... we're all in a book series for teenagers."

  • "What? No!!" responds the crowd.

  • "And what's worse: I don't have superpowers because they can't think of a third one!"

  • "Wait, hold on," says Leopardstar, "What's a book?"

  • "Ehh... well... Also Leafpool and Crowfeather are my real parents thanks for coming to my presentation."

  • The Clans then collectively panic about this even though it seemingly happens pretty regularly.

  • Crowfeather stands up to remind everyone that Breezepelt exists which just makes a bad Gathering worse.

  • Then Brambleclaw breaks up with Squirrelflight in front of everybody.

  • This is probably the best thing that happens in her life overall.

  • "Hollyleaf?? Why the heck did you do that?" asks Cinderheart.

  • "It made me feel better. I don't know what you guys are so upset about," responds Violencegrass.

  • Then she runs away and blames God for all of her friends hating her now.

  • Then she hides out in Leafpool's house with all the lights off and waits for her to come home.

  • "Hi Hollyleaf, how are you doing?" asks Leafpool.

  • "Please die." responds Hollyleaf.

  • "OK," says Leafpool.

  • "Wait no, actually I changed my mind. That's not causing you enough distress."

  • She runs away again and this time Lionblaze and Jayfeather catch up with her.

  • "Why... did you do that?" They ask.

  • "Do what?"

  • "What you just did. It was wrong, y'know."