Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • Midnight is trying to enjoy her dinner when Tall Shadow, Thunder,

  • River Ripple, and Wind Runner break into her house.

  • "Why'd you give Sol plot information?" Shouts Tall Shadow.

  • "It's all over the internet now!"

  • "Nothing has happened in four books to move the story along.

  • We have literally just experienced four disconnected filler stories where nothing whatsoever

  • has had a lasting effect on the overall plot,"

  • responds Midnight.

  • "Sol's the villain now.

  • I got you a villain."

  • So the four founder cats poof out of anger, swearing that they'll never

  • let a villain last more than two books.

  • Meanwhile in the almost real world,

  • Hollyleaf is having a nightmare about Sol ruining her birthday party.

  • She goes on a border patrol and learns that ShadowClan has been collectively influenced to

  • give up their religion entirely.

  • Apparently nobody there found it even a

  • little bit weird to completely abandon their ancestors which they've been

  • worshipping for generations.

  • The ShadowClan patrol calls Birchfall a nerd and he just completely loses it.

  • Hollyleaf is very upset that ShadowClan isn't following the rules.

  • Although she somehow comes to the conclusion that it's okay

  • for HER to break them if it's stopping THEM from breaking them.

  • They sneak into ShadowClan camp and overhear Sol hypnotizing them with the power of public speaking.

  • Then Jaypaw has a vision of Midnight ruining his birthday party.

  • Lionblaze asks Ashfur to help him grind.

  • "You're already, like, level 40 Lionblaze, why the heck do you want to grind?"

  • asks Ashfur and the reader.

  • "Because."

  • "Oh, well, okay then."

  • But they both get red cards for training without an apprentice which is apparently a rule.

  • Then Lionblaze has a nightmare about Heatherpaw's corpse ruining his birthday party.

  • Suddenly, Briarkit and Millie have caught baby disease.

  • But Jaypaw and Poppyfrost don't find enough catmint.

  • "Take me instead!"

  • shouts Millie, who only has a minor cold.

  • Then Jaypaw goes to the medicine cat book club without Leafpool.

  • He meets Rock and Midnight instead of real cats and they clearly haven't read the book.

  • "We're here to tell you that we messed up everything," says Midnight.

  • "Uh, don't worry, because it will work itself out?"

  • Immediately afterwards Raggedstar appears and begs Jaypaw to make his clan stop being an atheist.

  • So Jaypaw gets his siblings together to make a paper mache sign from StarClan.

  • Hollyleaf tells both of them that she wants to marry the warrior code unprompted

  • which makes everyone uncomfortable.

  • Then Thornclaw somehow gets baby disease, too.

  • Berrynose somehow covers his ears with his tail to ignore his coughing.

  • His tail.

  • Berrynose's tail.

  • Ashfur's patrol begrudgingly picks up Tawnypelt at the border and takes her family to ThunderClan.

  • Then Tawnypelt's horrible children trash everything.

  • "Kids will be kids," says Hollyleaf while they beat up Icepaw.

  • Apparently morality just absolutely breaks down in the absence of religion in the Warrior Cats universe

  • so Sol isn't feeding children or old people anymore.

  • So with the help of Tawnypelt's horrible children the three finish their StarClan sign.

  • "Whoa, this sign sure is impressive!" says Littlecloud.

  • "Thanks, we made it," says Raggedstar and Runningnose.

  • Hollyleaf is offended.

  • Sol moves out of Shadowclan but that doesn't really matter because now every

  • cat in ThunderClan has baby disease.

  • Jaypaw gets pulled into Starclan where

  • what I believe to be cameo tributes of people who passed away

  • tell him what to do.

  • Honestly, the sequence really doesn't make much sense to anyone who would be

  • reading this book without this context.

  • I need to stop to be a little bit serious because obviously it would be disrespectful to make too many jokes

  • about a dead family inserted into Warrior Cats, but basically

  • a cat named Brightspirit comes down from StarClan to tell Jaypaw

  • "Hey, WindClan."

  • And then Jaypaw's like

  • "Gotcha."

  • So he immediately wakes up to learn that Firestar has baby disease.

  • Graystripe asks how his wife is doing and Jaypaw decides to

  • remind him of that time his first wife died horribly.

  • Jayfeather realizes what the word 'Windclan' means and decides to harass the dumbest

  • medicine cat he can think of for herbs.

  • "Hi Jaypaw!" says Kestrelpaw.

  • "Am I important now? I can't believe you're actually talking to me!"

  • "Haha yeah, super important," Says Jaypaw to the character that I had to draw for this scene.

  • He then uses knowledge acquired in his friends dream to take advantage of

  • him and steal his clan's catmint stock when he probably could have just asked,

  • because, you know, one clan attacking another one twice in one series is

  • pretty much impossible anyways.

  • He tells Lionblaze he needs to go get the catmint but Lionblaze would rather just let his

  • entire clan die of baby disease, no big deal.

  • So Jaypaw decides to be passive-aggressive to Lionblaze until

  • he does what he wants and breaks the law.

  • Firestar and Brambleclaw decide to quarantine all the sick people in the shack.

  • "Just don't forget we're here," says Firestar.

  • "No promises," says Brambleclaw.

  • Jaypaw has a last-minute Leafpool-should stop-pretending-to-be-my-mom moment

  • before going to ask his stick for advice.

  • This stick, being as helpful as possible in Jaypaw's time of need,

  • transports him to eighteenth century Scotland.

  • Instantly, Jaypaw stops caring about his actual life at all

  • and fully identifies as Jay's Wing, ancient cat with no problems.

  • He uses his knowledge of events to come and future medicine to win the trust

  • and admiration of his new family.

  • Here in the past, everyone is stupid, and everyone is always upset that Fallen Leaves is missing.

  • And obviously they have no sense of morality because they're not in the cults like Jaypaw is.

  • Apparently all these past cats think it's nasty that they live near a lake and they want to leave

  • making it sort of awkward that this was apparently the best place for the cats to go now.

  • Additionally Jaypaw has every opportunity to tell the

  • ancient cats that they have no reason to leave and doesn't bother.

  • Half Moon, somebody that we just met, immediately designates herself

  • as Jay's overly enthusiastic isekai love interest.

  • "Hmm I don't love this stranger, but I'm totally up for it," thinks Jaypaw.

  • The ancient cats decide to have a vote to decided if they want to live in the hell that is the mountains

  • for no reason or if they want to stay where they were already safe and thriving.

  • "Jay's Wing saw birds in the mountains, we should go there!" says Fallen Leaves's idiot ex-boyfriend.

  • This convinces half the cats to go because they'll believe anything.

  • Because Jaypaw, without any evidence, decides that these cats need to become the tribe

  • completely arbitrarily, he cast the last vote to have them abandon their perfectly fine

  • territory to go live in a crappy cave somewhere.

  • But that's not all,

  • to explain why he has knowledge from the future

  • instead of just telling them he was a nurse in World War two, he invents religion.

  • Jaypaw is just entirely ready to take off with these cats and have a thousand stupid babies in the mountains

  • with his vaguely forced love interest when Rock pulls him to the side and

  • tells him his OC is dead now and he's kicked out of the role play.

  • "We actually already killed the real Jay's Wing," he insists, scooching him into the living world.

  • Meanwhile Lionblaze is being tormented every night by the ghost of his dead grandpa.

  • "Hahaha, you don't want to kill Heatherpaw? What a loser!"

  • Spiderleg catches baby disease, proving that the quarantined cats were just not quarantined enough.

  • Daisy visits him.

  • "Hey Spiderleg."

  • He suddenly realizes that he's cornered in the medicine den.

  • "When are you going to visit your kids, Spiderleg?"

  • Leafpool joins in.

  • "Yeah Spiderleg, you mouse brain piece of dung!

  • When are you going to visit your hecking kids for once?

  • No I am NOT taking this personally!"

  • Spiderleg dies...

  • inside!

  • Then Firestar dies, for real.

  • But he comes back because, uh, staying deads for losers after all.

  • "Okay, I'll go kill Heatherpaw,"

  • says Lionblaze after seeing all of this.

  • "That's, not what I told you to do," responds Jaypaw.

  • He sneaks over to steal the catmint but Heatherpaw's in the tunnel.

  • Being Heathertail.

  • Lionblaze imagines killing her for a minute, but then she just kind of lets him go anticlimactically.

  • "Whoa!" says Leafpool. "Did Starclan give you that?"

  • "We stole it," says Jaypaw.

  • "Cool cool," says Leafpool. "Same though."

  • Then, like any good and noble medicine cat,

  • Jaypaw's given his warrior name for cheating and lying.

  • Brightspirit, who is more special than all of the other dead cats for some reason,

  • comes back to congratulate him

  • and then his whirled away by magic fairy dust, never to be seen again.

  • "Where did Brightspirit go?" Asks Jayfeather.

  • "Who?" Responds Yellowfang, who was here the whole time.

  • "Did you just make up a StarClan cat?"

  • Back at camp, Squirrelflight yells at Ashfur for, eh, interrupting Brambleclaw or something.

  • Accidentally being put on two patrols because he's too flashy with a stupid hair.

  • "Weird huh? It's almost like Ashfur and Squirrelflight have unresolved baggage," thinks Jayfeather

  • "Also did I used to have a sister or am I just thinking of those ancient cats?"

  • Now that we've remembered that Hollyleaf exists, it's finally time for The Three's first birthday party!

  • "Surprise!" Shouts ThunderClan as the candles light the forest on fire.

  • "Oh I knew it!" says Squirrelflight. "Fire alone could ruin this birthday party!"

  • Everybody runs away leaving Squirrel and her kids trapped in the fire.

  • Squirrelflight knocks over a tree branch to give them an escape route.

  • "Oh come on!" Shouts Ashfur, materializing.

  • "What?"

  • "This is unrealistic! Cats can't knock over a huge tree!"

  • "I don't care what's realistic to cats, Ashfur," says Squirrelflight.

  • "We can talk, we get nine lives."

  • "My quarrel was never with realism Squirrelflight... it was with immersion! It always has been!"