This is already all over social media.

This department's hanging on by a thread.

Bill's incident is spinning out of control!

There she is.

-Our first lady chair. -Woman.

I'm not gonna sugarcoat this. We're in dire crisis.

I wouldn't be surprised if the president

asks for Bill's resignation.

-Can he stay for dinner? -No.

No wonder nobody wanted to marry you!

Are you two involved?

My defending professor Dobson has nothing to do with my feelings for him,

which are entirely platonic and professional.

Everybody knows she's in love with him.

-Are you wearing makeup? -What? No.

It's pretty.

Don't you ever think about it?

Professor Dobson?

I just like him.  He's smart. And hot.

-Don't take your jacket off. -I don't know how to say this.

So I'll just say it. Get your shit together.

I like when you act like you're my boss.

I am your boss!

This has become a serious reputational matter.

Oh God!

-Sorry, I thought you were naked. -You should be running this place.

Instead, you're running around, playing nice.

I feel like someone handed me a ticking time bomb.

They wanted to make sure a woman was holding it when it explodes.

Nobody wants to come out and support you when you're a scandalous figure.

-Your boy's toast. -Tell me what to do.

-You are going to Apologize. -I'm so sorry, I--

Oh my God. Not to me, dumbass!

I am the chair of the department. Let's fucking shake this place up.