Everyone put your hands up and no one gets hurt.

Now, one of you will send me all your users' data

and credit card information right now.

You, start working (gun clicks)

and no one gets hurt.

- Okay.

(dramatic music)

Uh huh, I actually don't know how.

- You do work here, right?

- Yeah, I, I, I do, I do,

but I've never worked on this codebase before

'cause it's not my job.

So I don't know.

He does.

(dramatic music)

- Give me the data. (gun clicks)

I'm not playing around.

- Okay. Okay.

(keyboard clicks)

(gun clicks)

- Don't tell me you're trying to call the cops on.

- No, no, no.

I just need two-factor authentication

to remotely access our servers.

- You lie to me and I blow your brains out.

(dramatic music continues)

Goddamn, what is taking so long?

- I'm sorry.

Sometimes it takes a while to receive the text.

Let me try again.

(phone buzzes)

Oh, oh, I received both of them.

(keyboard clicks)

All right.

I sent it.

(dramatic music continues)

- I don't see it.

I'm not fucking around.

Where the fuck is my data?

- I did send it.

Look.

I sent the Slack message to my manager, okay,

to request read access to the database.

- You don't have read access?

- Well, I haven't worked on it in a while

so I lost my privileges.

(slack notification)

Oh, okay, I got it.

(keyboard clicks)

Oh, shoot.

I forgot.

- What?

- I'm so sorry, but for me to get it

I need to

file a ticket to IT.

- IT?

Are you kidding me?

Even I know that'll take weeks.

- I'm so sorry.

Please don't shoot me. I have a family

- And my equity hasn't fully vested yet.

- All right, fuck it.

Where do you guys store your snacks?

- At the micro kitchen over there.

(food packages rustle)

- I'm not gonna leave this place empty handed.

- Holy shit.

Should I put this on my performance review?