Oh, here we go.

Yeesh, No need to be so salty.

I wasn't talking to you Orange, leave me alone.

Hey, hey Pepe.

Hey, I think he's talking to me.

What do you want?

Orange?

Not talking to you.

Hey, Pepe.

Hey, hey, all you're talking to me.

No, you mean me?

No, me?

You bet your bacon.

I'm talking to you.

Oh, I can't believe Peppa Pig is in the kitchen.

What brings you by?

Are you planning on squealing the spotlight from me on my own show.

Oh no, nothing like that.

Today is the famous pig convention.

Didn't you see all the signs?

Oh, that's what those were for.

I just figured my literate friend Little Apple was trying to throw a picnic.

I heard that.

Sure, but could you read it if I wrote it down?

Orange?

Well the swine and the cheese Nixa is just about to start.

Would you like to come meet some of my famous friends?

Heck yeah, I want to meet Peppa Pig's muddy buddies right this way.

So how do you keep in touch with all your famous pig friends?

Are you pen pals?

Please try not to embarrass me in front of all of my friends?

Orange got it.

No more pig puns.

Oh dear.

Hey, hey miss Peggy, are you speaking to moi.

What's your favorite play?

I bet it's Hamlet.

That was awful.

What can I say?

It ain't easy being Orange, please leave me alone.

Okay, Miss Piggy, but you're gonna miss me.

You're not going to act this way around all of my friends, are you?

I promise.

I'll behave, I won't be an attention hog if you please.

There are some very very famous pigs here and I'd like to fit in.

There's porky pig, there's piglet, there's peter, porker bebop and over there's a babe.

What did you call me?

I'm not actually offended just playing for the cameras.

No babe.

A pleasure to meet you sir.

And we're just getting started over there is Wilbur from charlotte's web.

I'm not sure that's Wilbur, pretty sure that's just some pig.

Oh is little piggy here.

No, he went to the market but here with the three little pigs.

I'm the one that made my house out of sticks.

I'm the one who made the house out of bricks.

I'm the one who made my house out of straw.

I gotta ask why straw.

I don't know but I am wearing a boot as a hat so I'm not exactly famous for my great ideas.

Which reminds me, was it the straw pigs idea to hold this picnic in the kitchen?

As a matter of fact it was.

Oh yeah that probably wasn't the best idea.

Get it styx.

Yes, we get it.

But why is that a bad idea pork chop.

Oh we know all about pork chop, pork chop.

Come over here.

They invited me on one condition.

I only break boards, not skulls.

Yeah, that's not really what I meant.

Whoa!

It got hog wild in here.

Not funny orange.

Sorry, I didn't mean to butcher that joke.

Welcome to story time with pear oranges out buying a new kazoo right now so we shouldn't have any unwelcome interruptions as we read the story of the three little pigs.

Once upon a Time, Orange discovered online shopping and bought a kazoo from home.

Sorry pear but this orange is round in shape and round the kitchen.

Three little pigs.

I love telling this story.

Can I can I can I can I fine just tell it the way it's written though.

Okay, I got this straight off the dome.

Yo once upon a time there were three little pigs and each of these pigs had a little piggy house to help keep them safe from a big bad word.

No, it's not a worm.

It's a wolf.

Right, Sorry I read that wrong.

You weren't reading anything.

So the piggies find out this wolf is coming and they all run to their houses.

The first little pig he built his house out of boogers.

Excuse me, I'm sorry, I know you prefer the french pronunciation.

Who cares?

It's not the pronunciation.

I have issues with dude.

The first little pig made his house out of straw.

Oh well in my first one he uses a straw, that's how he gets the boogers that are you know, so the wolf's all like booger pig booger pig.

Let me come in and the booger pig's like not by the booger on my chin chin chin and the wolves like whatever.

That's fine.

I'll just huff and puff and I'll blow your house up.

What?

And he did the booker house went up like a toy people three states over.

We're getting bits of boogers falling in their soup like crazy orange.

Okay, okay, I'll move on.

So the wolf went to the second pig's house.

Now this pig built his house out of sticks.

No, actually, he built it way better than that.

2nd pig built his house to code and adhered to the regulations, wow.

Okay, I didn't expect that.

And let me tell you neither did the wolf.

He showed up and was really impressed by the quality citing O.

S.

H.

A.

Peak used so naturally wolf wanted to get the name of peaks, general contractor.

So he said, O.

S.

H.

A.

Pig, O.

S.

H.

A.

P.

Let me come in and pigs like not by the hair of my chinny chinn shingles brother.

Then the wolf goes, then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house up and let me guess it didn't work because the house was well built and up to code.

Not even used a ton of TNT.

That house was gone, baby gone orange.

The whole moral of this story is about taking your time and building a proper house pays off in the end, geez pear, there's still a third pig.

We haven't even talked about yet.

Let me finish.

All right, I guess you're right.

Okay, go ahead.

Thank you.

Any who sees the wolf goes to the third pig's house?

Can you guess what his house was made of?

Well, in the book, it's bricks.

Well, in my mind, it's Bruce Willis is, I'm sorry the pig's house is made out of Bruce.

Willis, the actor, yep.

A whole bunch of them.

This makes no sense.

It makes six sense.

If you ask me this better be going somewhere orange.

So the wolves like little pig, little pig, and then Bruce Willis pig cuts him off.

And he's all like, look, we all know where this is going.

Not by the bruise on my willy Will Willis just go ahead and blow up my house.

Okay.

And the wolves, like you asked for it?

Here it comes and the final house blows up.

That's not how it's supposed to end there.

You don't understand?

Imagine all those Bruce Willis is flying through the air, ride in the blast wave like crazy.

Have you ever imagined such a thing?

I can safely say?

I have not imagine it.

Darn it, Bruce Willis is flying everywhere, riding the waves, looking super tough calling other people's soup bowls, three states over.

Okay, I imagined it.

So what's the moral of the story?

The moral is explosions are awesome.

What are you doing?

Orange, trying to burp so loud.

This fork falls off the counter, man.

You almost get in here.

Oh, we burping forks off ledges over here.

Here goes nothing.

Oh my God!

He did it.

What a legend.

Tasteful.

It's a wonder that no one has yet eaten him.

Hey, who are you?

I my dear food fellow am a $200 pork chop.

Grass fed, seared to perfection, bathed in a Worcestershire sauce based marinade whose secret recipe is kept in an Impenetrable fault.

Well, it's nice to meet you get it because he's meat.

Ah puns.

I would have expected no less.

Now if you would.

I'm attempting to seek out one knife so I might be sliced and consumed.

What?

Sorry bro, did I hear correctly?

You're trying to get yourself knifed.

I guess that's why he's called a pork chop.

Huh?

I'll have you know, I'm not merely some pedestrian piece of loin.

You'll know I'm a meat of the highest caliber when you hear the satisfied escape the lips of whomever consumes me.

Make that noise with my mouth.

Wanna hear.

No, I do not wish to.

That isn't the noise I mentioned that is an in sound.

I made an m sound mm No.

Hmm.

I cannot believe I'm having this conversation, mother, please.

Where might I find this knife?

I have heard so much about.

It's my singular design.

Tap dance upon the taste buds of a perspicacious pallet perhaps pick up at the passing point and implement.

Take cover.

Ah it is here.

Oh the time is nigh.

I've awaited this very moment for whoa The piercing pain that pork is experiencing is palpable enough with the alliteration.

The moment is so past.

I admit this is excruciating.

It is my dream.

Go on, enjoy me.

I have been prepared to perfection by talented chefs.

Wait, what are you doing?

No, stop your over cooking me.

At least they're not over baking you too.

Am I right?

You cannot serve me well done.

I may as well be a walmart pork chop.

If you're going to cook me all the way through from the ketchup, you're going to serve me with ketchup.

Have you know humanity.

I'm going to taste downright ridiculous.

This is not a way a $200 pork chop is meant to be consumed.

Whoa, that dude was hungry dude.

You know you want to do it man.

The week leading up to christmas is rough.

More like chris massacre.

Am I right?

Huh?

We're being hunted.

Their codes of the utmost importance.

The secret codes to what?

Maybe I'll punch it into this pot here.

No, don't put the codes in.

You guys know what figgy pudding is.

Huh?

I guess I don't know.

Huh?

So it was probably a bad idea that I put a figgy pudding, name tag on everyone's back when they weren't looking huh?

Um orange, why is there mud all over the counter and what happened to the huge amount of dirt I put here yesterday and then covered in snow Dude it obviously melted and created all of this mud.

I don't follow.

Well I guess it's mud boring time.

Excuse me coming through.

Just roll in the mud like a normal everyday ordinary pig oink oink oink!

Way to go orange.

Your mud is luring ham roast out into the open.

Have you not looked at the chris massacre list lately ham is the very last thing on it.

That means you need to get out of here dude like right now.

Ah man this doesn't mean I'm gonna have to walk somewhere does it?

Of course not.

You don't have any legs.

Yeah it doesn't matter how you leave you just need to leave they can come for you at any moment.