- It does, here have some more.

(rock music)

- Beth or Rip, parenting edition.

Who would you rather have the birds and the bees talk with,

Beth or Rip?

- Rip.

- Beth.

- Beth's gonna be more fun. (laughs)

- Yeah, for sure.

- Baby, I love our man-to-man talks,

but we need to set some goddamn boundaries here.

- I'd rather just get right to the point.

I'm not trying to have a whole conversation about it.

(group laughs)

That's what I think.

And so I think Rip will just... (fingers snap)

- Yeah Rip's birds and bees talk is incredibly simple.

- Pretty quick, just do it.

Like, all right bro.

- Beth's is elaborate.

- It focuses on the erogenous zones.

- Is that Latin?

- Beth or Rip.

You get an F in geometry, you come home from school,

who do you tell, Beth or Rip?

- Sorry, Rip, didn't have the heart to tell ya.

- Rip.

- Rip, I don't think either of them care though.

- Rip's so much better, 'cause Beth would be furious.

(hand slaps)

- What the fuck did you do, Jamie?

- Rip would go, "I don't care about that shit."

- We don't do the Pythagorean theorem on this ranch.

- Beth would go up to the school and make it a big deal.

- If you're gonna calculate the acute angle of a triangle,

you calculate it with me!

- Yeah, no you definitely want to ask Rip.

- Yeah, for sure not, yeah.

Go ahead.

- And so I was gonna do more geometry jokes,

but that one, we barely got over the finish line with that one.

(group laughs)

(country music)

(people cheering)

- Who's more strict about TV time, Beth or Rip?

- Beth.

- Beth.

- I think Rip is more strict about TV time,

Rip doesn't have any time for TV.

- That's a tricky one, he doesn't even have a television.

- I don't know if he has one.

- That's a good point. - Yeah, ain't got much.

- Beth or Rip, these are easy.

You need a parent to volunteer to chaperone

an eighth grade dance, who do you ask?

- First we're gonna dance.

- Rip.

- Beth.

- Absolutely Rip.

- Yeah, he's not gonna say anything,

he's just gonna go. - Because no one's

gonna get pregnant.

If you ask Beth, you might have some knocked up teenager.

(group laughs) - Everybody's getting-

- She'd be like why don't you show some skin?

Why don't you really turn it up a little bit?

- I shoulda known it was you.

- I feel like Beth would spike the punch.

- That's why you don't ask her!

- Get the teachers drunk.

Like, do something ridiculous.

- Oh, so that's why you wanted her to be there.

- I think it would be fun.

- Need a drink?

- Who would you rather go clothes shopping with?

- I mean, Rip wears the same thing every day,

and I prefer to wear the same thing every day, so Rip.

- I have five shirts and a pair of boots, Beth.

- Yeah Rip wears the same thing every day and it's great.

- I don't wanna think- - Beth also wears

a lot of great clothes.

- But I would take Rip, I don't care

to think about clothes. - I would take Beth.

I would rather go clothes shopping with Beth.

- Get a pair of boots, decent jacket, and a hat.

- Don't like wearing hats.

- Well then you picked the wrong line of work, buddy.

- Who are you going to for a motivational speech

Beth or Rip?

- Beth.

- Oh man, they're both gonna be so bad.

- You have no future, none.

- I need my assistants to put all their efforts

into not being pussies.

- Who can tell you, "You're gonna make it."?

- Rip's gonna, Rip.

- Rip's gonna tell you- - Beth's gonna make it worse.

- Beth is gonna tell you why you should probably-

- You should quit.

- If you're feeling insecure, you're probably right.

- You're one of those, huh?

- One of what?

- The kind of man who uses flowers to say I'm sorry

'cause he doesn't have the balls to say it himself.

- Yeah, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.

- I feel ugly, well you are.

Wow, that's not great. - Exactly.

Oh that's my greatest fear.

(Denim laughs)

- Yeah, yeah, Rip has given some

pretty incredible motivational speeches

over the course of the show. - Especially to Beth

and to Jimmy. - To Beth, to Jimmy.

- I'm gonna show you how to get rid of problems

so they don't become new problems.

If you don't like the room, then eat in a different room.

Life is plenty hard, you don't need to help it, you hear me?

- That's true. - Just watch him

earn like father of the year awards in the upcoming seasons.

- Oh yeah! - He's gonna turn into someone

that we're all like... (gasps)

- Beautiful.

- Who would you rather have as a parent?

- You either have Beth as your mom or Rip as father?

- Say they're single parent, single mom or single dad.

- Rip. - Same.

- I would Beth.

- Rip seems like he'll at least be there.

I don't know if... - He's gonna be there,

but he's not gonna open up.

He's gonna be one of those dads

that you spend your whole life trying to impress.

- Yeah, but I feel I'd rather take that,

I don't know what Beth is gonna be-

- It's not great it either way.

- We'll just continue with the illusion

that we're one big happy family.

- Who would you rather be punished by?

- I'm having trouble. - Already?

- Oh, Rip it's physical, Beth it's emotional.

- Who would you say?

- Rip. (bomb explodes)

I think it's fair.

- Goddamn you for making me do this.

(fist punching) - Beth's gonna be like,

10 years later, she's gonna be stabbing you

under the table with a fork.

- Oh!

- You took the car out past curfew and crashed it,

which parent would you rather tell?

- What did I do wrong?

- You know what you did wrong.

- Again, I'm going with Rip.

- I'm gonna stay with Beth.

I don't know maybe it's my own weirdness.

- Beth doesn't care about a fucking car

she'd be like, who cares?

- Right and wrong, good and evil, there's no such thing.

- Rip has like a sense of responsibility

and Rip would be like,

"Oh no, we broke one of John Dutton's cars."

Beth would be like, "Who gives a fuck?"

- I'm gonna teach you a trick

so that you don't blow this opportunity.

Don't think that you deserve it.

You don't deserve it,

and you never will.

(rock music)